Despair and Hope

bowel_of_chiley · Newbie User Joined: Jun 23, 2007 Posts: 8

I'm agoraphobic, I have no more than three friends, I feel isolated the majority of the time, that's probably why I send these useless posts.

I get too wrapped up in this shit, when I know that life could be simple and full of different people.

To be honest, I appreciate my own company a lot of the time, but when I build myself up for a 'night out' and none of my mates are up for it, whether financially or emotionally, I feel more despairful than ever.

I took a walk down my local beach the other day, thinking of suicide again, but it actually refreshed me and presented newer thoughts to my mind; my isolation has a number of opportunities. I write constantly, I work for certain organisations in my area, I'm hoping to get published with some poetry i recently submitted, I have friends which I should be grateful for having at all. I love music, poetry, films and booze and it all keeps me going somehow.

I've talked about my fucked up family before, but I won't go into that now. I want hope and I want peace. I get it whenever I can grab it and I hope I can continue to do so without so much dysphoria. I truly believe that I'm ALIVE. Fuck all these small-minded, non-intelligent, hateful, dissatisfied fools, including people I'm close to. Wake up and realise you're alive and you can choose your own path and stop obstructing the path of others.

"The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. Because, if you can do that, you can do anything."

"The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving."

"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Gone · Newbie User Joined: Apr 01, 2008 Posts: 89