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Cool_Un_Cool
Newbie User
Newbie User


Joined: Mar 20, 2008
Posts: 97

PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:17 am    Post subject: Privacy Reply with quote

Why is it whenever i just want to be by myself I am some kind of a**hole freak? I constantly get this from my Mom.
Anyone else?

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recluse
Elite User
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 1142
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Extroverted people tend to not understand that some of us enjoy our own company. Being with people tires me out.

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4seasons
Advanced User
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Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 370

PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah...My mom is always telling me to "come out an sit with us"(her and my step dad). I'm just more conferable by myself. Even if i got 100% over my anxiety i think i'd still spend most of my time in my room while home.

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princess_haru
Intermediate User
Intermediate User


Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 190
Location: England

PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

recluse wrote:
Extroverted people tend to not understand that some of us enjoy our own company. Being with people tires me out.


Yes, totally! People exhaust me... having to be "on" all the time, paying attention to their constant talking when I'd rather just sink into my own thoughts and watch the clouds go by for a while. I do enjoy company sometimes and love an occasional good conversation, but I really value my time alone when I don't have to please anyone or feel self-conscious at all.

Extroverted people apparently gain their energy from being around other people - I can understand the concept but it's very hard for me to comprehend lol ...hey, maybe that's why extroverted people tire me out so much - they're busy re-charging their batteries from my energy stores! Shocked


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Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
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ghost_train
Intermediate User
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Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 119
Location: UK

PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess_haru wrote:
recluse wrote:
Extroverted people tend to not understand that some of us enjoy our own company. Being with people tires me out.


Yes, totally! People exhaust me... having to be "on" all the time, paying attention to their constant talking when I'd rather just sink into my own thoughts and watch the clouds go by for a while. I do enjoy company sometimes and love an occasional good conversation, but I really value my time alone when I don't have to please anyone or feel self-conscious at all.

Extroverted people apparently gain their energy from being around other people - I can understand the concept but it's very hard for me to comprehend lol ...hey, maybe that's why extroverted people tire me out so much - they're busy re-charging their batteries from my energy stores! Shocked


Absolutely. I think it is the exhaustion factor of being around people that drives me to be alone. The degree to which this appiles depends on the company I'm in. When I'm with a small group of my close friends, I have no problem with this at all, and would rather be in their company -at that time- than on my own. However, when I am around people that I am not quite so comfortable with, it's a great strain to keep myself in their presence. I attribute this 'mental strain' to the demand being around relatively unfamiliar people places on both my conscious and subconscious. It's as though I'm always on edge- always assessing, calculating and reassessing the progress of any social interaction. it's goddamn draining.

Incidentally, this is somewhat backed up by a little experiment I did with myself about a year ago (relating to eye contact rather than conversation, but they all go hand in hand, innit): I went through about a week-long phase of forcing myself to maintain eye contact with people (especially women) when I was out and about (I mean how hard can it be right? I'm walking along the road, look up, catch someone's eye- why the hell do I always have to be the first to break the contact?). I would never allow myself to break eye contact with anyone- they had to be the ones to do it. I managed it, but at what cost? For me, it never seemed to get any easier- and on top of that, I found myself to be absolutely drained every evening. Maybe if I persist for long enough, my body will run out of adrenaline. I dunno.

I feel I've meandered slightly off track, so I'll stop now. (I'm tired)

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princess_haru
Intermediate User
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Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 190
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ghost_train wrote:
It's as though I'm always on edge- always assessing, calculating and reassessing the progress of any social interaction. it's goddamn draining.


Yeah, I know that feeling *sigh* I'm always checking people's faces during a conversation to see whether there's any hint of derision in their expression, or whether they look as if they're lying to me. I'm not the most trusting person, lol.

ghost_train wrote:
Incidentally, this is somewhat backed up by a little experiment I did with myself about a year ago (relating to eye contact rather than conversation, but they all go hand in hand, innit): I went through about a week-long phase of forcing myself to maintain eye contact with people (especially women) when I was out and about (I mean how hard can it be right? I'm walking along the road, look up, catch someone's eye- why the hell do I always have to be the first to break the contact?).


I have a compulsion to glance at everyone I walk past just to check whether they're looking at me! If they are (and they're usually not) then I tend to give them a hard, defensive glare, especially if there's a group of them and I feel threatened.


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When you're strange
No one remembers your name
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