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Social Phobia World :: View topic - one comment which has affected your confidence
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one comment which has affected your confidence
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Generical
Intermediate User
Intermediate User


Joined: Oct 22, 2007
Posts: 262
Location: England, Devon

PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The huge suprise i get from my parents when i actually achieve something, i can't believe the amount of times they say 'well we thought you would fail' or after i got pretty crappy grades saying 'well you did much better than we thought'.......are they just stupid or something lol, how on earth is saying that going to help?

and possibly red hair comments i've received from random arseholes


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Lea
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Joined: Mar 08, 2008
Posts: 235

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

xxx



Last edited by Lea on Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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RedRibbons
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Joined: Oct 22, 2007
Posts: 421
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

heh heh. a lot of mean things have been said to people, here. It's sad. And it sucks that they stick in our heads.

The worst for me..

"Do you have a problem with your sexuality?" - this guy in high school. I've been questioning my sexuality since then.. and it's no good, cause it started my ocd.

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Stressball
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Joined: Apr 05, 2008
Posts: 22

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From my dear mommy, over the years. I can't name just one, they all hurt me, although I've recently gotten over my resentment.

"Why do you look so bad without makeup?"
"Your backside is getting too big, you need to lose weight."
"Your face is so horrible, you've got too much acne!"
"Your face is fine, just maybe your nose." (I was having a shitty day and my self-esteem was at an all time low and I mentioned having plastic surgery.)
"Get outside and exercise, you fat piece of shit." (When I was 14, and wasn't sticking to my diet. I'll never forget this one, and the anger she had with me over how fat I was.)
"You're so cold and unaffectionate."
"Hmmm, I thought someone with your figure shouldn't be wearing stripes."
"You're fine, just need to lose a bit more weight." (I'm at a normal BMI.)
"You have a huge ass, stop eating this or that."

Fuck, I hate being a girl sometimes...its always about appearances, personality and brains really seem to mean jackshit to anyone.

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HellFire1989
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Joined: Apr 30, 2008
Posts: 17
Location: Gilbert, Airzona

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Get a new face, then I'll think about dating"

That one still smarts.


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Edith
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Joined: Feb 08, 2008
Posts: 110

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NEGATIVE:

In highschool O sat beside a girl and thought that we were friends becasue I could talk to her... and then one day she interrupted me while I was asking her something and said, "I hope you don't mind... I mean, No offense... but I think I'm going to sit over there." And she went and sat with a different girl for the rest of the year. As minor as that seems... it wa sthe one thing that really killed me and made me plummet when I was young...

POSTIVE:

When I was at the bar the other week I was talking to these new people and they all wanted my number and then called me up to invite me out the next day. Also while at the bar some guy called me "gorgeous" and this girl said "I can't beleive we havn't met before! you're so much fun... what are you doing on Staurday?" That made me MUCH more confident, the thought that people could actually like me. The fact that they called makes me feel all the better. No matter how shallow this may sound. Having people like me and say nice things about me and seem to WANT to hang out with me when Im just being myeslf and not some fake loser like I used to try to be is a definate confidence booster.


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princess_haru
Intermediate User
Intermediate User


Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 195
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Edith wrote:
In highschool O sat beside a girl and thought that we were friends becasue I could talk to her... and then one day she interrupted me while I was asking her something and said, "I hope you don't mind... I mean, No offense... but I think I'm going to sit over there." And she went and sat with a different girl for the rest of the year. As minor as that seems... it wa sthe one thing that really killed me and made me plummet when I was young...


Ouch, that's rough Sad It doesn't seem minor to me, because being overlooked, ignored and generally treated like a leper hurts every bit as much as the more obvious bullying, especially when it's unexpected as it was in your case. I know; I've been there.

Sometimes the little things really wound us. I was always called by my full name (in a sarcastic, nasty voice) by kids in my class, as if I wasn't good enough to be just called by my first name in a normal, friendly way. And they always talked about me as if I wasn't there when I was sat right by them, in extra loud voices to make sure everyone knew I was being bitched about right in front of my face.

Well, at least we're not emotionally stunted, soulless little leeches that feed on other people's pain and humiliation because their cowardly, ugly hearts cannot find nourishment anywhere else Evil or Very Mad


Gaah... sometimes it's good to vent!


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recluse
Elite User
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 1328
Location: Wales, UK

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RedRibbons wrote:
heh heh. a lot of mean things have been said to people, here. It's sad. And it sucks that they stick in our heads.

The worst for me..

"Do you have a problem with your sexuality?" - this guy in high school. I've been questioning my sexuality since then.. and it's no good, cause it started my ocd.


How sad! When i was in college some asshole started a rumour that i was gay.

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Borx
Newbie User
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Joined: Apr 08, 2008
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

all these negative comments should be seen as a reflection on the shallow , ignorant people that say them . So the next time someone says something negative to you , just hold your head high and know that they are just disgracing themselves , good luck , everyone here is above that !

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noblame4
Intermediate User
Intermediate User


Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 146
Location: WNC

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

(Christ in a barn, the sadistic bullshit people say to each other!!)

Me? well, I had this teacher in the fith grade who would bust me talking (back when i still talked sometimes) in class and chew me out in front of everytone, saying, "Did you take your medicine today?! No, you didnt! I can tell! You are insufferable to me, and everyone else when you dont take your medicine!!" (in grade school i was supposed to take ritalin for ADD that i DIDNT have, when i didnt take the pills, i was a normal, active tomboy, and when i did take the pills, i couldnt ...move. I couldnt talk or play, it made my body feel so stiff and cold. Therefore, 'nobody likes the real you. we all like you better when you dont say or do anything.' That woman made little kids cry all the time. it baffles me that she maintained a career working with children.)

My grandmother/mother figure, "Jessica! You've got to wear makeup when you go outside! Everyone judges you on how you look, and you've got to be pretty for people to like you, and you are not a naturally pretty girl, jessica lane! so get back in there and put on your makeup!" ~she said that all the time. To this day, I'd rather go outside pantless than go without makeup.

One time, when i was 16 or 17, i went to the doctor's office by myself, and this older man (50+) got to talking to me, and suddenly he said, "You know, you have really beautifull eyes. That's your attraction." And even if he was just some pervy old guy, that comment makes me really happy to this day.

And once when i was a senior in high school, i got one of my english assignments back, and the teacher had written on the back, "I always save your papers for last. They are always funny and interesting. I wish you would participate in class more." and that made me really happy.

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