Couples piss me off

sickgirl · Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:44 am Post subject: Couples piss me off

Everyone always thinks that they have to be with someone or they are nothing. Every show, and song these days is about love. My friends are all dating abusive assholes because they fear being alone. Isn't there more to life or is that all there is? I am just curious how all of you people spend your time, i mean when you have a social phobia you usually have alot of time to yourself. I like to paint, and sing and daydream about a world that could never exist. Confused

Flax · Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 6:31 am Post subject:

One of my new years resolution was to quit giving a shit about getting a girlfriend. It's working. I am waiting and maybe it will happen, but if it doesn't then life goes on.
I agree that people worry about being with someone too often. Some just aren't cut out to be loners like us. I also paint and daydream. Imagination is the only thing that keeps me sane.
What do you like to paint sickgirl? I like painting thing from imagination. You'll never find me copying a photograph (I'm not dissing those who do I just feel like it's more work than fun).

gooby · Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:28 pm Post subject:

Hello sickgirl,

I think that having relationships is very important. Its part of the human condition to want to have intimacy. It is one thing about me that can really get me down if I think about it. I'd love to be in a relationship and have a someone special who could understand me and I could share my life with. I'd love to have someone to care for so I do think it is the most important thing in life.
I try to accept that it's very unlikely that I will ever be married, and sometimes I can almost accept it but sometimes it scares me. Especially when I know that one day my parents won't be around and then I will be totally alone - I'm very scared of that as they are the things that keep me sane. Well, maybe not sane but, you know, not completely screwed up anyway.
I have hours on my own, I like gardening and I am trying to learn to play the guitar and I love reading. I also go on-line quite a bit and yes I also spend a lot of time day-dreaming and fantasizing about a better life.

Just thought I'd let you know how I feel.

Take care,
Gooby

crashmodem · Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:35 pm Post subject: Feel the same way

I feel the same way as well too..

I don't know anyone around here, i don't know where i can meet people, somedays i like the solitude, sometimes i don't.

I feel that its not going to happen, i have just learned to accept it.

symbiosis · Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:00 am Post subject:

Hi there,

Gooby, I go through exactly the same thing as you re parents disappearing - I am a socially phobic only child with elderly parents and little other family - what a combination!! Smile

I do have a lovely boyfriend, but am somewhat fearful of the distant future, most of the time I don't think about it, but sometimes I think too much and feel very unhappy (I find Christmas is getting harder each year re this).

What do you think a good way of coping with this issue is?? I have some friends, but would like more - if I picture myself in the future as orphaned, but with enough friends, that's okay, but otherwise......yuck.

Cheers, Helen

sickgirl · Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 5:54 am Post subject: Painting

I like to paint ugly things and make them beautiful, or paint beautiful things and make them ugly. I never finished a painting though i find it too hard to complete something that brings me joy.

Nocturne · Guest

I feel very similar to what most of you have posted.

I go through this cycle of yerning for someone to be close with, someone to be my friend other then family. Then I really don't care about having other people to talk with and am fine for awhile.

I daydream a lot too. I always have. And yes it is one of the things that keeps me sane. I like Sci-Fi so I day dream about things like that most of the time.

Even though I sometimes may imagine have a boyfriend and get a suden "wanting" for someone like that, I wake up or go out in the world and truely realize that I probably will never be married, or have childern. Most of the time I am okay with that, i just figured I would become that wierd aunt in the family that lives by herself! Funny, but not.

I mostly spend my time of the computer. I also like to draw or read. I surround myself with many pets, so they give me something to do, and they also provide company.

gooby · Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 1:56 pm Post subject:

Hello Helen (aka symbiosis),

Sorry its taken so long to reply to your posting but I have been away for Easter.

As for the best way of coping with my fears, I don't really have an answer. I am very lucky in that I am able to spend quite a bit of time with my parents and while I am with them I don't seem to worry as much as when I'm on my own.

I'm glad you have a nice boyfriend as that must be a great comfort to know that you will always have someone close who you can trust. I'm afraid I have never managed to form a relationship like that. You're right to say that having lots of friends can only be a good thing so if you can do that I should hold onto them.

I also find that by keeping busy, I can sort of keep my worries at bay. This can be hard at times and so I have to try very hard to avoid lethargy creeping in.

I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer but you can always e-mail me if you want to know anything else.

Take care
Gooby

annmarie · Guest

hi just found this site and i think it is great. i live alone and have had social phobiia for 10 years. i sorta have learned to live this solitary life, but it seems by friends think i am waswting my life by no being more social they Cool

just do not get it,this is a disease it is not a choice. i was always shy but this is something else of course. how do you deal with people that just do not get it. annmarie a.dailey@sbcglobal.net[/u][/i]