Never had a girlfriend - anybody else have the same problem?

Sebr3

Hi everyone,

I just joined this forum today to see if there were any other guys in the same predicament that I am in.

I am a 39 year old who has never had a girlfriend, nor has any woman shown any romantic interest in me, Don't get me wrong I have asked lots of women out but I always get rejected. But at the end of the day, my chronic lack of good looks has effectively written me off in the dating arena (and please don't tell me looks don't count when it comes to attracting women, BECAUSE THEY DO!!!).

After a while, the constant rejections beat you down so badly, your confidence effectively gets destroyed, and as such you no longer have any desire to approach women. Instead you take the easy way out and just pay a hooker when your sex drive gets the better of you.

Last December, I was thinking about seeing a dating coach, but to tell you the truth, I think these guys are just snake oil salesmen who prey on vulnerable and lonely guys like me.

Not being able to get a girlfriend, does get me down, but to forget about this, I now work a second job filling supermarket shelves, not only do I make some extra income in addition to my full time job, it also keeps me in shape. The thing that does make me mad, is when people make fun of you, and make out there's something wrong with you just because you can't pick up a supermodel every night.

Anyway, I am not trying to draw anyones sympathy, as there are people who are worse off than me, I would just like to know if there any other guys who have never had girlfriends.

Please, no smart arse comments, I am only interested in hearing from other men who have the same problem I do.

Peace.

Gone · Newbie User Joined: Apr 01, 2008 Posts: 89

Yes i agree that looks counts more then people admit, and yeah, ive never had a girlfriend. Now im only 23 but i suspect il be the same when im 39.
Heck ive never even held hands with a female or held a conversation (except the regular 'Hello' to the local supermarket girl).

I almost don't care about that stuff anymore, im more busy with getting from one day to another, but all this talk about relationships here on the chat is getting me back to wanting again, sigh.

Kien · Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject:

Hi man. I'm 20 and last time I even hugged a non-family like girl was when I was 15. I have never kissed anyone. I don't suffer much from it though. We don't need women. Smile

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I wish we could see into the future of peoples lives when they are born. Then we could kill all babies who's going to be bad people. Robbers, bullying kids, murderers etc. Just put a gun at the baby's head.

Sebr3 · Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 2:48 pm Post subject:

Argamemnon · Advanced User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 364

I'm a 31 year old male, and I too have never had a girlfriend. I've never visited a prostitute either. You are definitely not alone, trust me. You should check some older threads on this site and see yourself.

CPA23 · Newbie User Joined: Apr 21, 2008 Posts: 30

anarchben · Newbie User Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 1

i'm turning 19 and have never had a gf or kissed a girl or had any real friends that are girls. At one point i started getting close to a girl i worked with and we were real friendly with each other but my own insecurities and self-conciousness ruined it.. certain reasons prevent me from making new friends or approaching girls in a relationship sense.. i just hope im not like this forever

Richey · Expert User Joined: Sep 28, 2005 Posts: 645

I really don't know what to say, its certainly not easy for certain guys who in todays society are sort of almost expected to make the first move ..

my only advice is to literally go places as often as you can, ive been along to 3 music festivals this year and two girls just ran up to me said "Hi" and wanted to hang out, the first girl was super nice and had a cute icelandic accent and wanted me to walk her to see rage against the machine, but i lost her later in the crowd without asking for a number, the second had to leave suddenly to meet her friend, i hadnt met them before or said a word to them prior to it ..

so no friendshipeventuated out of it, but it was an encouraging sign and its motivated me to show spontaneous interest in strangers more then i normally would ...because ive seen other people try it on me ..

what do you have to lose? either you try and make friends even if it doesnt go smoothly or you never see them again and you say nothing ...

if you stay idle chances become more limited to meet people ..

embrace the feeling of falling over and learning from it, see it as a good thing ..

Lawliet · Newbie User Joined: Dec 31, 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Japan

Never had a girlfriend,but it was not because girls didnt approach me,they did when they realised I wouldnt do the first move,had a lot of chances,but I threw all out of the window......

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recluse · Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject:

Hi 27 year old here, have hugged two girls (not including my sister) in my life and kissed one girl on the lips, but never had a girlfriend. It really depresses me because i know i will respect a girl, but my self esteem is so low i can't imagine a girl ever liking me. If we don't have confidence in ourselves then we don't have belief that we are attractive to women. I hate feeling so inexperienced, i mean i have no confidence to start talking to women and i see the asshole type guys getting the girl. One asshole from work made a snide comment that i don't know how to talk to women, and comments like this drag me even further to a pit of despair.

Girls always see me as a weirdo probably because i start acting panicky and weird.

Shit time is running out!