Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:51 pm Post subject: Why should men always be confident?
I don't understand: why should men always be "confident"or strong in order to be considered attractive. Is it ok for girls not to be confident? Why this sexism???
Personally, I'm not interested in girls who expect me to always be confident, strong, outgoing etc.. or unpredictable, exciting, funny, or to always take the lead in the relationship.
Girls who have such unrealistic expectations are a major turn off. I'm simply not attracted to those types of shallow females. I would almost prefer homosexual relationships over relationships with such shallow types, even though I'm not gay, lol!
Last edited by Argamemnon on Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:10 pm; edited 5 times in total
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 346 Location: U.S. OF A
Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:58 pm Post subject:
Well I dont think that...
When I see a guy that really hot, I dont think to myself..... I hope he has confidence...or soemthing like that.
I dont expect guys to always be strong, confident, and whatever. Some girls do though. And those girls suck. Stay away from them. Come over to the dark side with me.... I have no idea what i meant by that
_________________ Its The Hard Knock Life... YaArRr
I dont expect guys to always be strong, confident, and whatever. Some girls do though. And those girls suck. Stay away from them. Come over to the dark side with me.... I have no idea what i meant by that
To tip the balance (evolution ) the biblical take is that the man is head of the house and his family. He takes the step forward and he is in charge of decisive action . Headship means trust among other things, trust means at least some responsibilities and that in turn demands confidence. To some extent anyhow.
Besides the common view on the whole man-confidience thing is a perfectionist take on things, and as we all know perfectionism simply does not work well or make much sense.
_________________ Intellectual honesty is characterized by a readiness to scrutinize what one believes to be true, and to pay sufficient attention to other evidence available
Also, the meek shall inherit. As much as I cap on Christianity, it does have some redeeming points. Too bad those are the ones that get selectively ignored.
Joined: Apr 07, 2008 Posts: 56 Location: 19/m/North Shore, MA
Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject:
The religious history of male dominance and patriarchy comes from the evolutionary traits of male dominance. Males because stronger because males all over nature have to compete and fight one another as a show of strength in order to pass along their genetic material through the female who is evaluating the viability of the male in question. It is easy enough to see that with males being stronger in ancient human history, the females were to submit to the males, who were the hunters and warriors.
Any male in nature who was too afraid to court a female or to fight a another male would obviously not be a favorable contribution to the gene -pool. This could be the root of the female attraction to confident males - their confidence is a show of their knowledge of their strength, their ability to provide for thelselves and others. These are the evolutionary traits women look for in men.
Funny, too is the fact that women who base their judgement on this said confidenceare called shallow, which implies that they are stupid (perhaps from not having evolved enough...?). The more intelligent of us look at who the person in a different and more thoughtful than what is required of a simple person with little brain activity above the brain stem.
It is much simpler to look at humans as being nothing more than self -conscious monkeys with big brains. Our behaviour is all rooted in primative impulses. We with out a doubt have evolved into what we are.
_________________ Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Sad as I am to admit, I can kind of understand why girls are (generally) attracted to confident guys. I think it's two fold- one it's linked to all this alpha male bullshit, which, like it or not, reverberates through nature. I guess the paradigm has slightly shifted in our society- being an alpha male is about power and the ability to influence and lead other men. Therefore it's not necessarily, as it is generally in nature, to do with brute strength, but often a different manifestation of power- maybe money, maybe intelligence. I think it's usually assumed that any manifestation of power will go hand in hand with confidence: confidence suggests, plain and simple, that you have something of value about you- something to give.
Now I can't really say why a similar 'confidence' does not seem to be required in females- not as far as I'm concerned anyway- I'm generally turned off by very confident women (which is a shame because they seem to be the ones I attract).
In my case, I've simply never been interested in being a 'leader' of other men- my choice has always been either 'equal' or 'loner'. I feel uneasy whenever I have correct someone on something, and certainly do not revel in pointing out others' mistakes. All this must come across as that I lack confidence- and I do: but not within myself, just in the way I project myself.
Which great artist was ever an alpha male, though?
Because that's the way it is. Just look at the World around you. Think it's sexism? Well fine but you're not gonna change it.
It's not the case that the traditional 'alpha male' ALWAYS does better though though...studies have shown that artistic/creative types have more sexual partners on average. (Men included)
Besides, sex isn't everything is it? Some men are meant for greater things.
Last edited by stardog on Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
Confidence is one thing that I have struggled with in my life. I have a muscular body, I'm about average height and I have been told that I'm a hunk (hahahahaha)! But confidence is much more than looks. There are people who would be considered "less attractive" by many but some people are drawn to them because they are confident. For some reason, I just don't want to cross that line of arrogance like some people. I rarely ever, no, never compliment myself in front of people because I do not want to come across as arrogant. And when people give me compliments, I just say thank you. Some people I know would say "I know" or "everybody tells me that."
You just have to find the right balance between being confident and over-confident/arrogant. I just wish I could be semi-confident for once!
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I have no idea what i meant by that
) the biblical take is that the man is head of the house and his family. He takes the step forward and he is in charge of decisive action . Headship means trust among other things, trust means at least some responsibilities and that in turn demands confidence. To some extent anyhow.
