Its odd what has been said about moods and snapping, that decribes me too. I'm a mouse but when the pressure builds I have a snapping point. I keep quiet but when I snap I snap big time.
Yeah, me too. People tend to perceive me as a quiet, non-confrontational person, but when someone really riles me up I can shout and rant with the best of them Then I get people saying "this isn't like you!" which makes me laugh, as most of them don't really know me at all. I don't like feeling angry though, it drains me. I've never understood why some people seem to really enjoy arguments and confrontations Even watching people argue on soaps and TV shows gives me a headache!
You have described me perfectly. I absolutely hate confrontation. I cannot tolerate people who like to start confrontation. I could "snap" over something simple sometimes to make up for the many things that I was calm over. Guys, this is a dog-eat-dog world. I learned it is very important to stand up for yourself, but at the same time, don't be a disrespectful, inconsiderate jackass like some people I know.
Yea, I've heard that a bit, my firend sais I'm 'too nice' because I don't argue with anyone of even fake fighting, I'd have to say to myself that's kind of saying 'too shy'
But yeah, it's not entirely the same as being a really nice person, I hate people too (not all, but alot because all some people have done was make me feel alone...)
If people hate any confrontation and can accept only consent and flattery, where is the conversation going? I just canīt take people who are easily offended, who take everything personaly. They do not keep focused on the object of the conversation, but on themselves. It is selfish and unfair to others, because they keep blocking the conversation and ruining the good intentions of others. When we are in a discussion, we should be as selfless as possible.
If people hate any confrontation and can accept only consent and flattery, where is the conversation going? I just canīt take people who are easily offended, who take everything personaly. They do not keep focused on the object of the conversation, but on themselves. It is selfish and unfair to others, because they keep blocking the conversation and ruining the good intentions of others. When we are in a discussion, we should be as selfless as possible.
You don't choose how vulnerable you are. We don't choose attributes.
Joined: Jul 23, 2006 Posts: 373 Location: -Gulf of Mexico-
Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 3:16 am Post subject:
Quote:
I just canīt take people who are easily offended, who take everything personaly
Actualy people who have anxiety and are shy have a super high tollerance. Thats why we are called shy. Its the outgoing types that have a low tolarance. Thats why they are constantly agruing and fighting with others.
I just canīt take people who are easily offended, who take everything personaly
Actualy people who have anxiety and are shy have a super high tollerance. Thats why we are called shy. Its the outgoing types that have a low tolarance. Thats why they are constantly agruing and fighting with others.
Got it exactly backwards.
Easily offended = avoids taking risks = shy
Thick-skinned = takes risks = sociable
Never mind who argues the most. When you're shy, you don't put yourself in a position to argue in the first place. By design.
I think it has nothing to do with being shy or vulnerable, because for example I am, it is a matter of training and experience. It is possible to LEARN to take things impersonally, when in a discussion, to stay focused on the subject and aim mutualy to solve the problem. It is sad when sometimes a person starts talking about something, the others donīt understand it or donīt understand it right, maybe also from lack of experience etc., and instead of trying to understand they start to attack the person.
Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1142 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 9:33 am Post subject:
miss_amy wrote:
After you have 'snapped' do you get really upset about it or is that bit just me?
I feel really guilty and afterwards i am really conscious of that poeple see me as a nasty person, although everyone has their moments but i think that social anxious people have a harder time accepting it. It's like few weeks ago at work i snapped at my supervisor and everyone was really shocked that the quiet guy, which i am had this side to him. Ever since this occurance the supervisors seem to be walking on eggshells around me as if they are scared of me, and i hate people seeing me in this way.
That would partly be because we know how we don't want to be treated, ie: being yelled at, people being rude or critical, so we are sensitive to this when interacting with others.
Then there is the confrontation part. We are in no position to argue confidently. I know I let people be horrible to me and I never say a word. It's not worth it to me in the moment. After, I feel terrible of course, and it stays with me long after the other person has forgotten that they ever even talked to me.
I'm actually really nasty to my parents, I'm extremely critical of them and they take all of my anger from throughout the day. And when I let the frustration and anger out, it's not just anger, it's rage. It scares me how ferocious I get, but I just can't confront people.
So yes, I suppose we would be viewed as the sweet, nice people. I know I've been called "sweet" more times than I can count. Whenever that happens, I just think, if they only knew...
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Then I get people saying "this isn't like you!" which makes me laugh, as most of them don't really know me at all. I don't like feeling angry though, it drains me. I've never understood why some people seem to really enjoy arguments and confrontations 
Even watching people argue on soaps and TV shows gives me a headache!
