I have never had a girlfriend in my life

Johno · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject:

Give up the dope

Give up cigarretes

follow my lead

AddictedtoChaos · Newbie User Joined: May 14, 2008 Posts: 1

The testimonies on this post are quite a revelation to me. Im 20 years old and also never had a girlfriend. It just hurts me to type these words, so you have no idea how much burden this places on my life. I'm a good looking, intelligent guy and I was completely comfortable with girls in high school. I had nice looking girls flirting with me on consistent basis, however i have never been out on a date with one. Problems within my family kept me from doing so. Im in my second year in college now, and Im going through tons of stress and anxieties trying to build any some kind of social life, while concentrating on my studies. I have lots of potential friends, but due to my awkardness and shyness I'm very hesitant on trying to establish any kinds of social relationships. I dont know what happened to me during the past 5 years, but my confidence with girls has plummeted. I often notice good looking girls looking and/or smiling at me, but I'm simply to self conscious to approach them. I also have an accent of which ive become very insecure as of late, which doesn't help the cause. Due to the fact that ive never had a gf, I'm very insecure when talking with my guy friends, and become irritated when a conversation about girls arises. I dont drink or do drugs, and have no way of suppressing my anxieties, and at times feel like there is no hope. I feel very relieved seeing that I'm not the only guy with these issues, and there are individuals in this world I can relate to

Johno · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject:

I have suffered from most of those problems as you care to mention. It is a common problem amongst men whom suffer from SP. I want you to hug yourself and realise that you are not alone. Guess what, from the latest research I have read, girlfriend problems are the most common complaint amongst all men. meaning you are not alone....

Johno · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:20 pm Post subject:

Ignore all women, especially the girls you are trying to attract. He told me to ignore them all. Just go about your business. Love yourself. Get yourself a life. Love your life and focus 100% on it. Once again love yourself. Get yourself a life. Just don't need anyone. Don't be needy. A friend told me this. I think it still makes sense. It is a difficult thing to do when you have SP. But it is still possible and does make some sense........

tpdarlo · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:26 am Post subject:

I moved out when I was 21, I think partly because I always hated talking to my distant grandmother on the phone. Every weekend my dad would come into my room and ask me to come talk to my grandmother and every time it was incredibly awkward. I'd go through the same repertoire of small talk - "How is the weather?", "How is the garden?" - it made me incredibly anxious. It sounds utterly ridiculous, but I have a phone phobia.

The other reason I moved out was that I figured I'd never get a girlfriend living with my parents. The thought of introducing a girlfriend to my parents was just too awkward, I just imagined muddling up the introduction and standing their awkwardly trying to think of something to say. And I'd imagine my dad making some dad-joke that I wouldn't know how to respond to. SA at it's finest.

Anyway, my advice to you is to jump in the deep end. Move out, live on your own for a year and then move in with some friends. If you have the guts, move out straight away with some others. Exposure I think is the only way forward. You need to confront it.