Joined: Oct 17, 2007 Posts: 411 Location: 'Rooooound heeeere,
Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 2:35 am Post subject:
If they're not dicks, I'm usually most comfortable around outgoing people. Then again, people with good social skills and high confidence tend to make those around them feel welcome... so it varies a lot from person to person for me.
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Joined: Dec 22, 2007 Posts: 589 Location: California
Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 3:21 am Post subject:
Yeah, it depends on the person if I should say so. There really are some genuinely nice people out there who only want to help you and always make you feel comfortable. I mean they won't overdo things, but will always make you feel important. Unfortunately they are very uncommon. There are also those outgoing obnoxious people who I just hate. I mean just screaming out making a scene everywhere, and blah blah blah. Outgoing people can be okay, just depends on their intentions, and personality really.
Last edited by Psychedelicious on Thu May 08, 2008 8:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 7:33 am Post subject: Re: !!!!!
_Brittany_ wrote:
I hate outgoing people!!!!!!!!
...well maybe not hate, but i strongly dislike them!!
-.-
anyone else??
I feel a litte bit the same. :/
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The word "cowardly" is often used as another word for effectivly.
that would be the same as me saying i hate shy people! which is abit predudice really. from the other point of view. and from personal experience lol i remember when i started college. sat on a table with 3 people. we were all new. and we all sat their feeling very arkward and you could cut the tention with a knife. so as a ice breaker i think i asked what subjects everyone was doing. everyone answered really bluntly 'english, maths and sceince'. and that was it. and that then made things ten times more arkward and made me feel like a dick for trying lol
so it can work both ways. i dont like overly outgoing people, coz from expereince they always have something to prove, and 9/10 there the people with the biggest insecurities (believe it or not). and i cant deal with them people, theydrag u into their bulllshit and insecurties too lol. but i dont really get on with shy people, not quite people as such, but shy people, but thats not coz i dont like em, they usualy dont like me! coz i swear alot and dont really come accross as aproachable lol.
but each to their own. im sure we all have personal experiences to have our prejudices. like i hate people who work for extra credit and take their jobs too seriously. lol.
that would be the same as me saying i hate shy people! which is abit predudice really. from the other point of view. and from personal experience lol i remember when i started college. sat on a table with 3 people. we were all new. and we all sat their feeling very arkward and you could cut the tention with a knife. so as a ice breaker i think i asked what subjects everyone was doing. everyone answered really bluntly 'english, maths and sceince'. and that was it. and that then made things ten times more arkward and made me feel like a dick for trying lol
so it can work both ways. i dont like overly outgoing people, coz from expereince they always have something to prove, and 9/10 there the people with the biggest insecurities (believe it or not). and i cant deal with them people, theydrag u into their bulllshit and insecurties too lol. but i dont really get on with shy people, not quite people as such, but shy people, but thats not coz i dont like em, they usualy dont like me! coz i swear alot and dont really come accross as aproachable lol.
but each to their own. im sure we all have personal experiences to have our prejudices. like i hate people who work for extra credit and take their jobs too seriously. lol.
yeah- I generally don't like shy people- despite being one myself. The fact is, shy people come across as unfriendly and aloof. Now when I see someone who seems to be acting 'unfriendly and aloof', my natural assumption is 'cause=effect' i.e. they ARE unfriendly and aloof. It's only when I take the time to consider, that it actually crosses my mind- oh yeah, in the real world, very very few people are just unfriendly because they are arrogant or don't like people, it's pretty much always because they are shy/insecure. If anyone should reach the immediate conclusion that this seemingly unfriendly person is in fact only shy, then it should be me- a fellow shyisht.
My point is, people like friendly people- and that's that. people will never take the time to ponder the deeper psychological motivation of a person who fails to return their smile: they'll just think "what a prick". Even amongst shy people- other than on a forum such as this- there seems to be no mutual understanding; we all judge each other pretty much on the face value of our actions (I'm speaking in the context of day to day activities).
Conclusions (in day to day terms):
-I don't like shy people.
-Other shy people don't like shy people.
-Everyone likes friendly (perhaps draw a distinction from 'outgoing') people
-The reason I am shy is because I am unnaturally preoccupied with what other people think of me. Therefore I'm trying my best to find a way around this.
as a quick aside, I've found that since joining this forum, I have become much more relaxed and confident in day to day life. Someone made the comment somewhere along the line that to overcome your SA, you shouldn't try and block out each negative thought as it occurs, but just learn to accept your anxieties. In this way they become unimportant in your day to day life, and you will gradually just forget about them. Somehow, just thinking about it in that way has really helped me.
This demonstrates exactly why no one likes you people and you get bullied and harrassed and shit. You don't like outgoing people because you have absolutely no self-esteem and because you hate youselves. And the reason you hate yourselves is because objectively, speaking, you're all shit. You hate yourselves because there's nothing to like about you people anyway. You hate yourselves because anyone else would hate you just as much.
I don't even get why you all try so hard to get rid of social phobia if you're all so introverted, and wouldn't use your newfound social skills anyway. Seeing as you hate everyone around you out of jealousy towards them. And guess what: your fears are in 99% of you completely rational! It's not fear of short-term embarrassment in any of you, its fear of never having friends and forever remaining alone. And that's the fate you're all going to endure and suffer for the rest of your lives.
Outgoing people talk to people not because they're insecure, but because they love themselves just as muuch as everyone else and get stimulated from communicating with people, because it's thrilling, because it's fun, because no other experience in life can ever come close to the adrenaline rush and blissful, ecstatic enjoyment you get from simply chatting to people. Outgoing people aren't shallow. You're shallow. You're the ones who will never be able to conceive the depth and intensity of feelings outgoing people experience on a daily basis and therefore just dismiss them for "fakeness". So before you go and judge awesome, amazing people who are in charge of everything in every aspect of society, look at yourselves and accept that they deserve it on merit.
The reason I don't get bullied and the reason everyone's extremely nice to me is because people, even through the thick barrier shyness imposes between me and them, still feel and perceive that I like them and that I'm awesome. And if you considered trying to understand other people and why they're what they're like, and cut the hypocritical bullshit you're spoon-feeding each other all the time about how "people don't understand us, boo-hoo", and realized you guys are doing the same, only to a much greater extent and in a much worse, more disgusting, annoying, exasperatingly infuriating, retarded, self-deluded way, maybe you wouldn't all be social outcasts! YOU PISS ME OFF SO MUCH!!!
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