I have no personality!

recluse · Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:50 pm Post subject: I have no personality!

I get days where i am numb and emotionless. Today we all finished early at work for our two week Christmas holiday. Everyone else was happy and laughing, and talking to each other whereas i just stood there just staring into space. This is why i am sitting at home typing this now instead of being out drinking with my workmates, after all why do they need a dummy like me with them?

When i get these days of numbness i can't laugh, smile, cry, talk to people(i can't think of a single thing to say). I also can't feel excited about anything; You could tell me that i had won the lottery and i would not be excited. Also when i am feeling this way i have trouble making and keeping eye contact with people because i feel so shitty.

Dzindzer · Newbie User Joined: Dec 10, 2007 Posts: 5 Location: USA

Wow that's crazy...i feel very similar to you in some ways.

I get times where i just feel so emotionless...i really just don't feel anything. Like my friends will be really excited about something and i'll just be like "cool". I can't be excited about things a lot of the time...even when i am excited it doesn't really seem like i am because i just can't muster up the energy to "act" excited. It's strange...
I wanna write more but I denno how to put what i'm trying to say into words :/
Well actually it sorta seems as if i don't have the energy to feel emotions sometimes. Like it just takes too much energy out of me...idk

alex29 · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 15, 2007 Posts: 124

i'm the same. i feel so awkward when everyone else is showing tons of emotion and i'm just standing there idlely. i feel like i'm no fun to be around because i can't get involved or show emotion like other people.

And because i'm this way, i tend to isolate myself even more as a way to avoid this awkwardness Sad

Vulvectomy · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 12, 2007 Posts: 102

I used to be like that too! Of course I had real emotions, I just couldn't let them show. After being fed up enough, I realized that the worst things that could possibly happen whilst expressing myself can't be nearly as bad as keeping myself bottled up!

And guess what? I was dead on. I can't even explain to you about how great I've felt for the last week or so. The only way you can experience it is to try - and you can't fail if you give it your all!

recluse · Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 10:53 am Post subject:

Tryin · Advanced User Joined: Sep 04, 2006 Posts: 412

Dzindze, ralex29, Vulvectomy (would be quite happy to have you write something about how did you choose that nick Smile

) and recluse: I read your posts and hell yeah, I can relate. Sometimes I felt/feel like I that, too. Many times, actually.

Right now I am, erm, faking a personality. I am quite active, not social (I don't socialize all that well and I don't feel comfortable socializing) but active, I do a lot of stuff, I talk a lot, I get to be heard by people a lot, I work and have opinions and play emotional.

But it's all so FAKED.

And my real personality is... drowned... lost... maybe it never did exist... ah well.

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Doomed2Die · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 12:05 am Post subject:

Yeah I have felt the same, like... emotional scarring. If you are devoid of a feeling long enough it will simply cease to happen. This can be happiness for one.

Something gradual, or something extreme can break me out of it.

(note: its also a element of depression)

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Intellectual honesty is characterized by a readiness to scrutinize what one believes to be true, and to pay sufficient attention to other evidence available

recluse · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:39 pm Post subject:

Tryin · Advanced User Joined: Sep 04, 2006 Posts: 412

toothpastekisses · Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject:

We all have personalities, seeing as we are all persons and are all pretty much the same, give or take physical qualitites and certain attributes and characteristics. Whilst some of us are naturally reserved, others are easily excited. I can relate to feeling completely numb, and I think this is "normal" under distressing circumstances, like when a loved one dies. It's not right to feel like this at inappropriate times though and it's soul-destroying when you feel you can't share good moments with others. It's not because there's physically something wrong with you that you can't feel emotion, but because your fear holds you back and restricts you outwardly showing how you feel due to fear of rejection (I may be wrong, if I am, sorry). I think if you are constantly held back by fear it sort of defeats you so a bad habit develops in which you automatically switch off showing emotion because it makes things easier and prevents you from being "humiliated". Think back to childhood and all the emotion and tantrums we all show; surely this shows that we are all capable of expressing pure emotion to others. In my opinion, we are all moulded into "mature" adults too young (in Western culture anyway) and made to believe that having fun and being ourselves is in some way unacceptable, such as in school and at home. I think this contributed A LOT to my SAD and as a result of this and being a sensitive person I feel the need to always put on a fake act everyday. So yeah, we should learn to beat the fear and be our real selves Smile