Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:35 am Post subject: meeting people
Where? How?
I see a lot of advice telling me to just try, and not be afraid to fail etc. etc. but having next to no friends that live in the same country as me. How do i even find said situations to 'just try' in the first place.
I want to meet people and get out there too, I just don’t know how or where to start. It’s tough doing this alone, I just wish I had someone who could drag my ass out there to these places. It’s really frustrating wanting to meet people and make friends but not knowing where or how to start.
When I was 1st starting cbt I went to bars and clubs alone. I hated these places so much that the first few times I walked to the door and then walked home. But the great thing about bars is there are a lot of people. I would say try this; Don't look 2 make friends just work thru your fear hierarchy and you will find that given 6 months paths will open up 4 you that you never considered possible. I'm not making any of this up I'm really trying 2 help! Really go out and try this don't just read about it. I will give you 1 more tip. Don't think about going out plan it all in advance. Know where ur goin, what ur wearin and wat time u will leave the house. Plan and rehearse b4 hand wat you will do when that time comes around and as soon as that time comes DO NOT think just get dressed walk out of the house and keep movin until u are in the venue. There is really no easy way 2 get better expect pain a lot of pain. If ur not crying regularly u may not be workin hard enuf really I was crying a lot.
When I was 1st starting cbt I went to bars and clubs alone. I hated these places so much that the first few times I walked to the door and then walked home. But the great thing about bars is there are a lot of people. I would say try this; Don't look 2 make friends just work thru your fear hierarchy and you will find that given 6 months paths will open up 4 you that you never considered possible. I'm not making any of this up I'm really trying 2 help! Really go out and try this don't just read about it. I will give you 1 more tip. Don't think about going out plan it all in advance. Know where ur goin, what ur wearin and wat time u will leave the house. Plan and rehearse b4 hand wat you will do when that time comes around and as soon as that time comes DO NOT think just get dressed walk out of the house and keep movin until u are in the venue. There is really no easy way 2 get better expect pain a lot of pain. If ur not crying regularly u may not be workin hard enuf really I was crying a lot.
haha that sounds really tough. but hey whatever works. i guess i should give it a try before i discount it. Any other possible places besides bars and clubs though?
Joined: Apr 07, 2008 Posts: 56 Location: 19/m/North Shore, MA
Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 5:13 am Post subject:
Eeh... meeting people... That's so hard for me to do, unless a friend I already have introduces me. Which leads me to say that today, I realized that I never had my own circle of friends... Like, I ahve never had a group of people I was associated with unless I was brought into it by someone else. If such a person who linked me up with such a group would drift out of my life, I would drift from the group. It has happened a million times. I mostly hang out with my girlfriends friends, or one of my friend's groups of friends. This has been the same configuration as before, numerous times again and again. I'm always in and out of peoples lives and it always me alone in the end. It sucks. Can anyone else relate?
_________________ Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Which leads me to say that today, I realized that I never had my own circle of friends... Like, I ahve never had a group of people I was associated with unless I was brought into it by someone else. If such a person who linked me up with such a group would drift out of my life, I would drift from the group. It has happened a million times.
That's the story of my life right there. My "connection" moved out of state last month, I don't feel like I'd be able to hold my own among the people I formerly sort of hung out with.
_________________ "Does anyone in here get hit with inside fever?
So bad sometimes it's hard to move around
They'll show you all the things you are not doing
Instead of helping you, they'll block you out"
-Animal Collective, Street Flash
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