Opposite sex

Cool_Un_Cool · Newbie User Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 97

I act really strange around girls, either I try to stay secluded from them, or when around them am dead silent. When I am around attractive girls I act like I am autistic, and not interested. I always end up not being able to look them in the face and stare at the ground.
I am pathetic!

Kanon · Newbie User Joined: May 07, 2008 Posts: 26

I had that same exact problem all through highschool, and it still hasn't gone completely away.
The first girl I tried to actually approach was a classmate that was really kind to me. I realize now that she had no interest in me at all, but her personality was just very loving and accepting to everyone. Near the end of the schoolyear, I gathered up my confidence and told her how I felt about her (well, tried to). I had a whole speech memorized basically of my thoughts about her in order, but when I actually got her to hear me out, I cracked and my words were jittery.. I couldn't even think straight. Near the end, I felt tears welling up because I knew it was too good to be true and probably looked like I was going to start crying at any second. I don't think that she would have even said yes if I would have said everything word for word.
The whole thing didn't affect me that much at first because she told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship right then and I thought, "well, maybe when she is, she will remember that I like her," but about a month later, I found out that she had starting dating this guy that had horrible grades, was loud/obnoxious, crude, etc. It made me feel worthless and I started to open my eyes and see how weak I was.
After awhile, I thought that might have just been a fluke, and tried two more times on two different girls, and got rejected by both, and the last one, even to this day makes me feel worthless.
I don't want to be like this forever though, so I am to the point where I figure, now or never.
=/

Pinker · Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject:

What age are you both? There's no need to worry.. when you get older you will feel more comfortable in your own skin I think. Kanon at least you had the guts to approach someone. I've never done that yet and i'm now 20 Embarassed

_________________
i'm a guy.

Kanon · Newbie User Joined: May 07, 2008 Posts: 26

I'm 19 and "still young" as they say, but never having experienced mutual love is kind of a bummer. I don't blame you Pinker. I am beginning to think asking out girls is an impossible thing. The only girls I could even ask out were girls that I had been around for a long period of time and assumed that I had a chance because I had been around them for so long.
For several years, I couldn't even look a girl in the face because I was afraid that she would think of me as pathetic or whatever, but I started seeing that was all in my head, and that I make myself look that way.
Its all a process I guess. I am still terrified to ask an unfamiliar girl out or even talk to one normally, and probably won't get over that any time soon.

Cool_Un_Cool · Newbie User Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 97

I'm 21.

tjdr59 · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 3:58 am Post subject:

I'm 25 and i still act the same way as Cool_Un_Cool. to this day i don't think i have ever said more than two or three words to any woman at a given time. For some reason my body just tenses up and i can never think of anything to say. ofcourse after the fact i can think of a million brilliant things to say.

jsot · Newbie User Joined: May 12, 2008 Posts: 9

Perhaps it would help if you didn't worry about going out with girls but just tried to make friends. Dating can come, but friendship should go first imo. Once you befriend some women, getting one on a date should seem easier. Besides, if you're friends with a lot of girls they can hook you up with their hot friends. ;)

thor01 · Newbie User Joined: Jun 09, 2008 Posts: 15

Yep i have this problem, im not good with those situations, and i dont go out to meet girls like most would because of this, the annoying thing is i know i cant ever really have sex or even just talk to a girl without going into these situation, but i just cant get myself to and wouldnt know where to start if i did, it always amazes me and make me jelous when i think about how most other normal people get loads of oppertunities to have sex or just get to know girls, it makes me wonder why i dont get the oppertunities, and at the same time i know exactly why.