Nice post Silver. Guys we are putting out the attitudes of people who have overcome SP. If u absorb them and practice what we are saying u will 2. We always sound like we have no pity cos this is the attitude we decided we had to have if we wanted to overcome SP. We cudn't be weak and make excuses, we had to decide to take 100% responsibility for the mess our lives were in.
Go out to a busy town far from ur house wearing only a bikini if ur a girl or just underpants if ur a guy. Now walk around for exactly 1 hour and 30 minutes.
If the cops come just tell them what ur doing they will understand
Aaww! Shoot! I can't find my thong.
That has to be the stupidest advice I have ever been given.
Joined: Dec 07, 2006 Posts: 197 Location: 44/m/miami
Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:42 am Post subject:
Me, in a speedo, gives a whole new meaning to exposure therapy. I wouldn't wish that sight on my worst enemy. Again this is what I mean by contrived, bogus situation. If life doesn't provide you with enough exposure then you're not really living. I don't want to be a swimsuit model, so this exposure has no value whatsoever to me. In ACT we use our values to dignify, motivate and guide us through the real exposure situations we will encounter in trying to build or rebuild a full life. I value work (and eating), so working full time is exposure situation numero uno. I value education, so studying in college gives me plenty of exposure situations: buying books in the bookstore, talking to classmates, asking the professor questions, etc.
If you're not working, then setting up and going on job interviews should be your most practiced exposure situation. And it actually serves a purpose. Who knows, you might actually end up with a real job.
_________________ Accept your reactions and be present
Choose a valued direction
Take action
Silverwolf, have you really stood in public for 90 minutes in your undergarments? If so, I am deeply impressed. I agree with what you are saying regarding exposure. My belief in life about phobias is, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. This sounds extreme, however, anixety can feel like it is going to kill you, when you beat it, you are stronger. I hope I see some peolple in their underwear today testing your theory!
Silverwolf, have you really stood in public for 90 minutes in your undergarments?
I really have!! It was actually the 1st exposure I did and believe u and me I did not enjoy it. Many people would see it as stupid but here's the thing. When u do sumthing this extreme it is super effective in desensitising all other social fears. I think it would probably take about 20 regular exposure sessions to obtain the kind of results you will see with 1 session of flooding. I think both types of exposure are valuable though.
Was it your idea to overcome your phobia in this way? If so, how did you think of it? I would imagine one would have to have ENORMOUS determination to take such radical action, I can understand it working though. Every other social interaction would pale into insignificance after standing around in your underclothes for 90 minutes. Did you get alot of unwanted attention? I suppose for the majority of people this type of extreme exposure would be too overwhelming. Not to detract from your achievement, it must have been pretty hellish at the time. However, it seems it HAS made you stronger.
I would also like to add. I can understand other people thinking that the attitude of extreme exposure is negative when social interations are so emotionally and sometimes physically painful. However, to have acheived so positively on your own, is amazing.
Retaining support after overcoming such difficulties is key in keeping these demons at bay. Some other people here seem to feel this attitude of "winning" is unrealistic. I agree with the school of thought regarding seizing your opportunites and making your own sucess. That does not mean that others unable to take such firm control are not winning. We all find our peace and our place in this world differently, we must never give up though. Life is for the living, when we find we are only existing then the fight ensues. For some, little steps are vital, others can make these giant leaps. It is not important how we get somewhere, as long as we arrive.
how do u know it? just because u werent born with it? u can find many people who say theyve had it forever. they are born extremely shy and hypersensitive and that leads straight to social phobia with no exceptions, no matter what kind of environment they were raised. i have a sister, we were raised together and had the same conditions - she is the most outgoing social extrovert blabla person and me, with severe social phobia.
_________________ stop the thinking and start the doing
how do u know it? just because u werent born with it? u can find many people who say theyve had it forever. they are born extremely shy and hypersensitive and that leads straight to social phobia with no exceptions, no matter what kind of environment they were raised. i have a sister, we were raised together and had the same conditions - she is the most outgoing social extrovert blabla person and me, with severe social phobia.
Ok let me deal with this belief you have because it is very very limiting and untrue. These types of beliefs are very dangerous because they can ruin your whole life even when they are untrue in the first place!!!
Let's look at the facts. Antony and Swinson (2000) found that genetic factors were important in the development of SP. Plomin (1989) found that personality traits contributing to SP are highly inheritable. At about a 50% likelihood of inheritance.
So genetic factors are important but irrelevant. Let me quote two of the leading researchers and experts in the field of social phobia;
"If genetics does in fact play a role in causing social anxiety, does that mean that social anxiety cannot be changed? Not at all...For example, regardless of whether an individual is predisposed to be athletic, training hard will improve his or her performance as a long distance runner... The same reasoning holds true for social anxiety. A genetic predisposition to have high levels of social anxiety and shyness simply means that you may have to work harder at overcoming the problem than someone who doesn't have such a predisposition."
(The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook, M.Antony Ph.D. & P.Swinson M.D.)
Using the analogy of athletes. Top athletes tend to have both good genetics and they work hard to maximise these genetics. However there are athletes who are genetically very poor but are so determined to succeed that they become the greatest. You can find many examples of bodybuilders who were weak and skinny in their youth, top Boxers who were picked on at school for being small and weak e.t.c They all overcame these genetic limitations through hard work. Even if you can't become a top 'social athlete' I believe anyone no matter what their genetics can become much more socially successful than the average person if they work hard at it and aren't deterred.
Quote:
Was it your idea to overcome your phobia in this way? If so, how did you think of it?
It is based on an exercise contained in 'An Idiot's Guide to Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy' ( I was the Idiot who bought it lol) in which the author advocates that people who are fearful of looking foolish in front of others should use exposure to make a public spectacle of themselves. It is also inspired by the work of Joseph Wolpe (1915 – 1997) on flooding. It is an unusual but very effective technique. And yes you will get some negative responses but for the most part people will ignore you. I don't consider this method of exposure to be fool hardy because there is no real danger of physical harm. No one will try to beat you up they may just whisper or make adverse comments. I don't advise anyone to do any type of exposure that could be dangerous to themselves or others.
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I agree with what you are saying regarding exposure. My belief in life about phobias is, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. This sounds extreme, however, anixety can feel like it is going to kill you, when you beat it, you are stronger. I hope I see some peolple in their underwear today testing your theory! 
