my story of social anxiety

harry · Newbie User Joined: May 09, 2008 Posts: 3

Hi all..
I just want to potray my story.How social anxiety ruined my life,prevented my personality growth,etc..I am from a small town in INDIA.From childhood onwards,i was suffering from this social anxiety.There are lot of reasons behind my social anxiety.I thought i was different from others.In my third class,i was about 8 years age, i was taken aback from attending a photo session in my school.i was tucked in bathroom and didn't attend the photo session.i never felt comfortable in public scenerio.Being alone and not mixing with people completely make me lost.along with this stage fear came.I joined college.it was one of the best college in India.In first party,my seniors asked me to come on the stage and they make me sit before.there were around forty people.i felt really bad to sit before all of them. One of my senior insist me to sing a song,which i was not able to.
party over.i went to hostel and this is what i thought on that night."i am nothing.i am very weak.there is no point in living."
and after that there were series of incidents in my class which led me to feel further worse.i decided to end my life.for that i thought various ways.i almost went daily to nearby railway track and tried to fell under a train.after several failed attempts,i kept off that plan.and then came an idea.i bought a pesticide in nearby town.i consumed it.
then all was black for two days.and when i opened my eyes,i was in a hospital.
after that i cud not fare well in my studies.i didn't do anything substantial over the last three years of my life.atlast i was able to came out of the college with barely passmarks.i didn't get any job in campus placements so i have written a test for postgraduation and i got good rank(i an very strong in basics,though).
even after joining masters degree i was not able to cope up with the studies.i was barely passing exams and doing fairly well in project.atlast i was able to get a job in mnc.even now i was not able to feel comfortable in groups.
overall what i feel i lost in my life:
i was not able to enjoy my college life and was not able to expand my social circle
i am felling that i am still immature.
i lost my valuable education(though i struggled to pass exams).
and suddenly one fine evening i was just browsing over net nd find this beautiful forum where i can meet people like me.
thanks for reading and forgive me for my poor english.

Lumsdale · Newbie User Joined: Apr 29, 2008 Posts: 9

Hi Harry Im new on this forum too. Thankyou for sharing this story with us on the forum. Life in India must have been very difficult with you having SA with few people realising or recognising this problem you had no wonder you felt so awful. I too struggled for many years in the UK trying to fit in and be normal. About five years ago I discovered that I had Social Anxiety and that there were forums I could join. It was a good feeling to know that there were others who felt the same as me. Smile

Argamemnon · Advanced User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 361

Hi harry. Yes, I have always been shy, quiet and anxious. I could not finish my education either. My life is worthless.

recluse · Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 9:48 am Post subject:

Hi Harry. I can relate.

harry · Newbie User Joined: May 09, 2008 Posts: 3

dear all,thanks for replying....
now i am gonna join a mnc and i really need to get out of this feeling to survive in corporate world.can any one out there gimme some tips to survive?