Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:26 am Post subject: Annoying my new guy
I posted here about a month ago about my anxiety about dating. Well, I have been going out with the same guy over the past month, numerous times, and each time my anxiety gets less and less.
In fact, whereas in past dating situations I would go out with a guy once or twice before running away (metaphorically), now I actually find myself *missing* this guy when I don't get to talk to him.
Which brings up a whole new anxiety of - am I annoying him? I sometimes think I am, and then he says something sweet that makes me think, oh, okay, it's alright, I'm not annoying him! How much contact is too much contact?!
We ring each other 3ish times a week, go on at least one date a week, and send messages each night on facebook. Is that too much? Should there be days when I don't contact him at all? It's not me doing all the contacting, either.
Thing is, I can actually see myself being in a relationship with this guy (and that's never happened to me before - I'm 25). I don't want to stuff it up by being too 'clingy', if that's what I'm being in the first place!
Joined: Apr 23, 2005 Posts: 957 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 2:48 pm Post subject:
t0m wrote:
It sounds like your doing great, so just keep doing what your doing!
Heh i think tom's right I think its just your anxiety making you worry about these things... it sounds like you have a good thing going on with this guy.If its really playing on your mind... tell him... and just be honest.And besides some guys like it when a girl is "clingy" and shows she cares... its better than playing stupid mind games with each other.
If its really playing on your mind... tell him... and just be honest.And besides some guys like it when a girl is "clingy" and shows she cares... its better than playing stupid mind games with each other.
I have been telling him about how I feel - when we first started dating I was terrified and told him so. Haven't mentioned the anxiety since, except to say "wow, I'm *really* nervous tonight", but I'm a bit scared if I keep telling him this stuff then he's going to go "well, she really is a bit mental" and dump me! Also, I still haven't told him I have OCD (which, alright, I manage pretty well these days), but it still is part of my life.
I think I'm just paranoid now that at any second he's going to change his mind
Joined: Apr 23, 2005 Posts: 957 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 6:55 am Post subject:
Shakey wrote:
I have been telling him about how I feel - when we first started dating I was terrified and told him so. Haven't mentioned the anxiety since, except to say "wow, I'm *really* nervous tonight", but I'm a bit scared if I keep telling him this stuff then he's going to go "well, she really is a bit mental" and dump me! Also, I still haven't told him I have OCD (which, alright, I manage pretty well these days), but it still is part of my life.
I think I'm just paranoid now that at any second he's going to change his mind
I know exactly how you feel im the same with my gf... i constantly think shes going to get bored of me or my constant inseurities are going to push her away.I really dont have any answers for you tbh.At the end of the day tho if he cares for you which he obviously does otherwise he wouldnt be with you your anxieties and problems wont matter to him.Id just tell him little bit by bit about your problems and if he truley cares for you he will help you through them
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I think its just your anxiety making you worry about these things... it sounds like you have a good thing going on with this guy.If its really playing on your mind... tell him... and just be honest.And besides some guys like it when a girl is "clingy" and shows she cares... its better than playing stupid mind games with each other.