Joined: Oct 17, 2007 Posts: 411 Location: 'Rooooound heeeere,
Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:22 pm Post subject:
Nope! But it sure does remove all responsibility for my own behavior to pretend like they did. I mean, if they did it, and I can't change myself... then that gives me all the right in the world to keep on wallowing in my sorrow! yay.
_________________ Love+Compassion+Eternity+Freedom
Always believing that there's something good in this world
Joined: Apr 07, 2008 Posts: 56 Location: 19/m/North Shore, MA
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 1:31 am Post subject:
Yeah, my parents had SO much to do with it. My dad used to beat the crap out of me when I was little, so I grew up always being afraid of generally being around people, and wanting to keep to myself. I was never really sheltered, I ran away alot, but I always had really bad social skills because I kept myself from talking lest I say something to upset my father.
_________________ Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Oh yeah definitely.
My parents are both very anti-social, and they have never let me have any friends over to my house in my life. Also, we live in a very rural area, and they made me an only child.
They isolated me from society. They insist that they didn't want me to be this way, and they wanted me to have lots of friends, but it certainly seem like their actions implied the opposite.
in no way do i hold my parents responsible for the way i am! my parents never kept me on a short leash they allowed me my own space, they let me live my own life. they do now blame there selfs for my problems but it's just silly, to me your born this way, just the same as some people are born with blond hair and others with brown hair! it's a card your dealt with, and it's your decision how you want to play it!
gah for the stupid metaphor! lols!
_________________ "Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
Joined: Dec 07, 2006 Posts: 310 Location: 44/m/miami
Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:43 am Post subject:
My mother recently told me (while laughing) how she shamed me into not using a pacifier. We were in a store and she started telling the cashier that I was a baby because I used a pacifier. She kept repeating this until I was ashamed enough to stop using one. So I definitely think my parents helped cause my social anxiety disorder (SAD).
Also I didn't receive my first pair of glasses until I was 7 or 8, even though I'm legally blind without glasses.
_________________ Accept your reactions and be present
Choose a valued direction
Take action
My mother recently told me (while laughing) how she shamed me into not using a pacifier. We were in a store and she started telling the cashier that I was a baby because I used a pacifier. She kept repeating this until I was ashamed enough to stop using one. So I definitely think my parents helped cause my social anxiety disorder (SAD).
Also I didn't receive my first pair of glasses until I was 7 or 8, even though I'm legally blind without glasses.
I remember my mum threatening to hang my younger brother's stained underwear on the washing line for everyone to see, because she was so exasperated at his slow toilet training. He was probably about 4 at the time - I remember being horrified that our mum could be so cruel! I was a slow potty-trainer too but I can't remember whether she said anything similar to me. Maybe being faced with public humiliation at an early age makes people overly sensitive to other people's criticism?
Oh, and the eyesight thing? I didn't have an eye test till I was 16, when I found out I'm pretty badly short-sighted. I still don't wear glasses now though, partly because every time I try them the clearness and focus of everything freaks me out, lol! I prefer to live in my blurry little world and not be able to see the scary things heading my way...
_________________ When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 21 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 6:43 pm Post subject:
Yes! I was taught at home by my mother until grade four. This made integrating with the other kids at school a true nightmare. My family was also pretty isolated living out in the country, so I really didn't get any early socialization with other children or people much at all until I was nine years old.
I really wonder how I would have turned out if I had gone to a normal school right from the start. I really wonder who the real me is, hiding somewhere behind the anxiety...
Joined: Apr 05, 2008 Posts: 16 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 8:56 pm Post subject:
Yep. My dad used to slap me around and verbally abuse me quite a bit. I do blame my SA on him. My close friend says that i really went into my shell when my sister developed psychosis though.
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but I can't remember whether she said anything similar to me. Maybe being faced with public humiliation at an early age makes people overly sensitive to other people's criticism?
