Starting over?

sketchy24 · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 11:45 am Post subject: Starting over?

I was hoping for some advice regarding my job. I'm fairly comfortable at work (I should I've been there almost two years) and its very good pay... I like the people there for the most part. It is a lot of hours and the job actually isn't THAT bad... actually, if I actually felt good and had "real" friends, it would be a pretty decent job. The thing is, even though I'm comfortable there (I'm not stressing out thinking everyone is looking at me or something), I can't just start talking to people to save my life. I'll talk if they start conversing with me first and if they're the more outgoing type, the better I'll respond.

Anyway, its just casual talk for the most part and I manage fairly well during break. But still, I feel like such an outcast. Everyone else gets a long so well at work and just have fun conversations. They're talking about what they did over the weekend with whoever else from work or whatever. People who are much newer than me have all hit off real well with different people. I feel I'm comfortable enough with myself now where I COULD be more outgoing and talkative provided it didn't feel like I magically changed over night. I feel if I was just meeting these same people for the first time now, I could be more open, spontaneous, and not so worried. But since they already have this view of me and we've already passed all the "first meet" speak and all, I'm kinda stuck.

Anyway, would you think changing jobs would be a wise choice? To kind of start over with the first impressions and all? I was thinking if I started over maybe I would hit it off better with people. The thing is I kinda thought that when I started this job and I didn't exactly bloom like I thought I would... though I think what really hit me was the work I was required to do and after a week I felt like a total tool who couldn't do nothing right. But at first I was trying to be a bit talkative and out going. But feeling I couldn't do the job and people were judging me based on my work ability kind of killed my buzz. The other thing I'm a bit concerned with is it took me FOREVER to get a first job (ya this was my first). Getting this one was kind of a miracle in itself.

But... anyone gone through something like this and tried starting over? Where you successful in your second attempt? I just really like the people here now... I'm comfortable... but work kinda sucks, you just stand there all day bored out of your mind. When I'm in a real good mood though and had some miracle conversation, I really get going and I actually like being there, and I do a lot better job... for about 10 mins after the person leaves and the feel good feeling dies Razz

pixiebaby9 · Newbie User Joined: May 17, 2008 Posts: 1

I dont know about finding a new job for that reason. Just start over with everyone, slowly start up conversations with people, yes slowly. Just simple questions to start with.... Laughing

toothpastekisses · Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject:

It's totally up to you, but it IS possible to change. Sure, people may be a bit shocked at first but they'll soon get over it and appreciate the "new" you much more. Everyone takes different amounts of time to come out of their shell. They'd be more wrapped up in their own lives to care to be honest. If someone I knew changed for the better I'd be happy for them and wouldn't think much of it. No one should feel like a prisoner, we all have the right to be however we want to be so my advice is to just be brave and take the plunge! I did it with a group of people I was once really shy around, best decision of my life lol. As a result I have some close friends I can be myself around (well partially anyway). I started by smiling and initiating general chit-chat.