Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:25 pm Post subject: Agorophobia.
Hi, Im new on here! My names Elizabeth and I'm 22 years old, I was wondering whether anyone could give me a few tips on overcoming my situation, if youve experienced anything similar. My Phobia's first began when I was meeting a new fella in town when I was about 16. I was so nervous all night that I was in and out of the toilets constantly (not a great first impression to make). Since that night the problems gradually began to get worse, where ever I went I was constantly looking for a toilet and worrying that I would not make it in time and have an accident, that triggered of panic attacks. To avoid that outcome I started to avoid going out, until I eventually stopped going out all together. I lost all my friends, dropped out of college and basically was at the lowest point in my life.
I eventually told my family, and they have tryed to help me to the best of there ability over the last 6 years, even though they don't understand it. I have seen doctors, counsellors, tried being hypnotized, read books, watched DVD's the works but none have been useful. Fortunately, a phsyciatric nurse visited my house and told me that the worst outcome of a panic attack would not be as severe as I thought it would be. (I thought I would die). Since then I have not had any panic attacks and have been taking baby steps out of the house for the past year and a half, its been brilliant. But recently my twin brother asked me to attend a football match as it was important to him, so I prepared myself to go. Thats when the problems began, all of a sudden I felt terrified and had a panic attack it was awful.
Because I was alone in the house, the feelings that I had felt before came rushing back, that something would happen to my health. Since that night I have been terrified to relive an attack and have feared being left in the house on my own. Every member of my family is taking it in turns to keep me company, but I feel awful, why has this god awful fear come back. It is not only preventing me from continuing my babysteps it is also stopping my family doing what they normally would, and I feel like a birden. I cannot go out due to my fear of having an accident which is now being acompanied by fearing a panic attack, and I cannot feel safe in my own home in fear of being left alone and having a panic attack. What can I do, If theres anyone that has the slightest bit of advice for me please help me, I really don't feel calm at all in the house or out.
Ive tried telling myself no harm will come to me like the nurse said, but im even fearing going through the panic attack itself again, or even fainting.
Joined: May 22, 2008 Posts: 7 Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 9:25 am Post subject:
You're not alone. I felt the same way for a long time. I felt like stepping outside my front door would make everyone and everything bad immediately spring forth and attack me.
Slowly, my husband convinced me to spend time with him late at night after work on the porch while he enjoyed a cigar and a some scotch. We could talk privately since no one was ever outside at night, but I was still outside.
After a while, I could go out on the porch during the day. I would wear a floppy hat and sun glasses to protect me from the sun and whatever else, but even in my apartment complex, I could hear children playing in the pool. .... nothing bad happened to me.
More time passed and an old friend offered to pick me up to play bingo with her siblings. We're not exactly the type to play bingo, so it felt like a bunch of us younger-ish people with a lot of older folks at church, and it was actually a lot of fun.
I found out that as long as someone could come and take me places, I was able to cope.
I have attended a birthday party for my autistic nephew, and tomorrow I'll attend a much more crowded sweet 16 birthday party for me niece, but my family is very supportive.
I've even suggested we all get together some day and teach each other how to cook some of the dishes that we used to eat as children... ethnic recipes that my father took to his grave.
I still don't trust myself to drive. I still don't feel comfortable to be out alone, though I've been able to walk through my entire apartment complex to get to the car or back to my apartment without incident. Tonight I passed two smokers on their porch, wanting to say "hello" but opted not to. No panic ensued. I got inside and was safe again.
It may take time, but baby steps can and WILL help as long as you're willing to take them.
I wish you the best of luck. You can contact me any time through my profile for support.
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