Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:52 pm Post subject: overcomming a sexual fetish
I had a sexual fetish for many years. For a while now I wanted to get rid of it. Right now I've been seeing a girl for a short time and the fact that I have this sexual fetish it is difficult for me to get orgasisms when I'm with her. I also can't seem to get rid of this type of fetish and sometimes might waste a lot of time on the Internet for it. If I do break up with the girl I'm seeing eventually I don't want the relationship to end only because of this fetish thing. Does anyone have any suggestions or know what I could do? Are there any drugs that I can take (ones that don't have harmful side effects that is) or are there any ways to cure this condition. Are there any techniques to overcome this? I don't have enough money to see something like a psychologist or psychoanalyist. I have told her a little bit of it, but I don't think talking about it alone will make things better or cure it. What I really want is to have a normal and successful relationship and a good sex life without demands for this fetish thing? Thanks to anyone that can help me.
Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:30 pm Post subject: Re: overcomming a sexual fetish
Everyone has fetishes and many of them are really fucked up. Don't think there's something wrong with you--find someone else who shares your fetish and enjoy it.
Guest264 wrote:
I had a sexual fetish for many years. For a while now I wanted to get rid of it. Right now I've been seeing a girl for a short time and the fact that I have this sexual fetish it is difficult for me to get orgasisms when I'm with her. I also can't seem to get rid of this type of fetish and sometimes might waste a lot of time on the Internet for it. If I do break up with the girl I'm seeing eventually I don't want the relationship to end only because of this fetish thing. Does anyone have any suggestions or know what I could do? Are there any drugs that I can take (ones that don't have harmful side effects that is) or are there any ways to cure this condition. Are there any techniques to overcome this? I don't have enough money to see something like a psychologist or psychoanalyist. I have told her a little bit of it, but I don't think talking about it alone will make things better or cure it. What I really want is to have a normal and successful relationship and a good sex life without demands for this fetish thing? Thanks to anyone that can help me.
Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 21 Location: on the last bus out of town
Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:24 am Post subject:
Maybe trying to accept it? Having a quirky kink is kind of hip these days You should give your girl the benefit of the doubt...she might be a little more open-minded sexually than you give her credit for. Of course there's the possibility that it might hurt your relationship. I think if she’s serious about you she will at least consider it, but if she freaks out and refuses to think about it try not to blame her. Young girls are naïve and silly; if something seems really abnormal to them they might be disturbed and have a hard time reconciling such ideas with their own sexual desires, because they’re just not mature and experienced enough. If she really cares about you, I think she owes you at least a try, unless the fetish is harmful, dangerous, or illegal.
If you haven't read Dan Savage's column, you definitely should. He has a lot of really honest, realistic, straightforward advice for people trying to introduce a fetish play into a relationship, and a lot of general knowledge about life in the kinky sexual community online and IRL.
I am no expert but one way to treat sexual fetishes is to associate it with something disgusting that makes you sick. So you no longer treat it as something sexual but something repulsive.
If you find yourself trailing the internet for images to satisfy your fetish then I can suggest the next time you feel the urge to do this, go to the bedroom and masterbate using your imagination but masterbate using an image which is not associated with your fetish. After you masterbate, you will no longer feel the need to look up porn because your sexual desire should be depleted after orgasm.
I am not sure if this will work but that is my suggestion. All the best!
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