Girls aren't that great!

shield · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 152

Hey guys I always hear people saying that they wish they had a girlfriend etc. In my experience you really don't need one to be happy. Things like hobbies are just as fun as having a girlfriend. I know that when I was a virgin I thought that it would be amazing to have a gf but it isn't. It's nice if you find the right person but the other parts of your life should be just as fulfilling. If you're not feeling good about life right now it's not cos you don't have a girlfriend it's because other things in your life aren't in order.

ljwwriter · Intermediate User Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 216

I think you're right in many ways, but I also understand how a lot of people don't feel fulfilled without at least experiencing what it's like to have a significant other.
Hobbies are nice but can only go so far. We are human after all. The desire for a relationship is much more powerful (and quite frankly important) than any hobby or anything else that we come up with to distract us from passing time. So while I believe it's definitely a good thing for guys to find hobbies which help take their minds off their lack of girlfriends, I also believe it's only a temporary solution and will not satisfy a lonely heart forever.

ripewithdecay · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:32 am Post subject:

I think you both bring up good points, but isn't it ironic how you always hear about the most successful people in the world (celebrities, musicians, etc.) being very lonely and unhappy at the peak of their careers?

Coper · Newbie User Joined: May 30, 2008 Posts: 45

All this talk of relationships versus hobbies and careers reminds me of an article I once read about a researcher who published a study claiming that great male scientists have tended to publish their best work around the same time that they get married. He theorized that the scientific work was a form of sexual display (and apparently a surprisingly effective one).

Ever since then I've have this caricature in my mind of the sexually frustrated male channeling his sexual energy into ridiculous alternative obsessions, like "Look! Look at me! I just built a 1/4th scale model of the Eiffel tower by welding 8 million pennies together! I just set a Guinness world record by yodeling while balancing upside-down on my fingertips for seven straight days! I just wrote an 800-page postmodern novel from the perspective of a pigeon stuck in the wheel-well of an Antonov AN-225 on a flight from Novgorod to Vladivostok! Now won't someone PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME ALREADY!!!!"

*Sigh* ... I see a little of myself in that caricature, and I wonder if all my high-falutin' intellectual ambitions are just a pathetic substitute for sex.

ljwwriter · Intermediate User Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 216

Len · Intermediate User Joined: Jun 06, 2008 Posts: 102

I don't think innovation comes from redirecting sexual urges. I think it is just a distraction from life in general. The scientist, actor or pop star does not focus all their energy so that they can have sex but for prestige, money or ambition.

When succesful people have reached the pinnacle of their career they soon realise that all their goals have been satisfied. However, they then realise that success and money doesn't bring them happiness. They may start experimenting with drugs as their only way to get high or feel happy. Then the depression kicks in.

The main religion that drives Western society is wealth, status, happiness and ambition. However, these goals are unacheivable for most people. We can try sex, drugs and alcohol but problems arise when we consume too much. We will never be satisfied as long as we live in this society.

What I am trying to say is...we're fuck3d!

Have a nice day!

LinusMaximus · Newbie User Joined: Jun 19, 2008 Posts: 6

Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum, but I took one look at the subject and got pulled right in. I'm married now and I can feel the societal heat off my back, but it was awful for me for a long time. I was extremely shy of course and I had absolutley no self esteem. I did not lose my virginity until I was 27, and that fact alone haunts me to this day. I often wonder what it would have been like, having sex with someone that I loved while all those hormones were still raging. I'll never know. That part of my life was gutted away from me like it never even happend. Just the pain of it remains. I'm still angry about it. Angry at myself. Angry at people who laughed at me. I was going through a hell for all those years, wondering what it would be like. I tried so hard to get girls to like me, but the alphas that I grew up with would rip me to peices every chance they had. Now I'm in my late 40's and I have no particular feeling for women at all. I hate that I feel that way, but I do. How do you deal with the loss of time? Crying or Very sad

recluse · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:05 am Post subject:

The older i get the more frustrated i become. I mean it's hard for me at 27, who's never had a girlfriend to remain positive. I do throw myself into hobbies but seeing couples everywhere walking hand in hand makes me feel that i am missing out.

LinusMaximus · Newbie User Joined: Jun 19, 2008 Posts: 6

recluse, do you feel angry? I know I do and I just wish I could stop feeling that way. It's like that movie "Awakinings" when the nurse walks up to one of the coma patients, (now awake), and expects him to be happy. She asks, "are you alright? How do you feel? and he says, "I feel old! I feel old and cheated!!" That's how I feel.

recluse · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:14 am Post subject:

Yeah! I feel bitter. I see guys with girlfriends and i think ''Why him, and not me?'' I feel like a freak, and the older i become the less confidence i have in myself.