Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 5:57 am Post subject: To All Social Phobics: Please Read (The Cure)...
My Social Anxiety = cured.
As a former social anxiety sufferer & member of this forum... I believe that I should enlighten you all on how I recently cured my social anxiety. I've been a member of this forum for several months and asked for some help last January - when I was at rock bottom.
I used to suffer from social anxiety & depression, and let me start off by saying that I'd researched the disorder for years, taken medication for months, been to countless psychiatrists and doctors... and even after all of that, I used to think that my mind was just too powerful to ever tap into; that nobody would ever understand me; and that I was going to live in misery forever.
A few months ago, I was skimming through a social anxiety forum (like I always did on my lonely Saturday nights), and saw that someone had recommended the book: Self-Coaching: The Powerful Program To Beat Anxiety & Depression. I briefly read the name of it and was naturally skeptic at first - it sounded very gimmicky. Regardless, I decided to get some info. on it by looking it up on Amazon.com.
When I read the preface of the general idea in the description, that "our thoughts and interpretations of events determined our moods and feelings," it was almost like having an epiphany. Those words were so true to me, because it was something that I had become aware of and had been thinking about before. The only problem was, I always believed that I would never be able to "break the cycle" and change, because I didn't know what to do.
In a nutshell, the author of the book I just mentioned - Dr. Luciani - is not only aware of it, but he masterfully explains the concept to you, and then tells you how to eliminate (by starving) the "negative reflexive thoughts (the root of social anxiety)" with something called Self-talk. It takes discipline and motivation, but Luciani places emphasis on these aspects of healing, because he knows that anxiety/depressed-prone people can easily be susceptible to it if they aren't consistent. After a while, the "directed positive thoughts" will become automatic and replace the negative ones, ultimately influencing your oulook on life, how you feel, and how you affect other people.
Depressed people dwell on thoughts of the past, while anxious ones (social phobics included) have their minds clogged with thoughts anticipating the future. The goal is to live a "reactive life" - a life that's in the moment, where there are no insecurity-driven thoughts clogging your mind and distorting your perception of life. It might seem like a complicated concept to grasp, but I promise you that it'll make so much sense after you experience it first-handedly.
In my humble opinion, this is the single most amazing book I've ever read, bar none. It's so simple, but so unexplainably powerful if you follow it. I am dead serious when I say that the world would be a much more peaceful place if everyone on earth read it. I would give everything I own to the author for the happiness that I've acquired after reading this book. My social anxiety is cured.
Just my sentiments. The book again, is called Self-Coaching: The Powerful Program To Beat Anxiety And Depression, and you can buy it any where books are sold. The author (Dr. Joseph Luciani) has his own forum you can goto (self-coaching.net/forums) where he answers your own personal questions, and is on every day. He's probably the most compassionate psychologist I've ever seen.
The book has completely altered the way I look at life. I feel like I'm high on my endorphins.
couldn't agree more. I'm half curing myself right now on positive thoughts.
the biggest one is placing yourself under "I have social phobia and therefore I'm depressed". I like to think "I don't need social phobia at all, I'm just trying to improve on my quietness and confusion". I don't think medication is the answer at all. (never tried it but I so don't trust it as a cure)
Joined: Apr 06, 2008 Posts: 142 Location: 20/M/Hnts UK
Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:32 am Post subject:
Not to be a downer but, most bog-standard self-help books can be helpful but the problem is keeping those new thinking habits long after putting down the book... It's one thing to read and understand something but it's a totally different thing to make permanent, lasting changes to your ingrained thinking patterns/behaviors etc.. Most people won't experience the latter from a self-help book.
The obvious book to go for is Overcoming Social Anxiety by Gillian Butler, and it's still the best book for SA bar none imo, mainly cause of the CBT program in it.. (if anyone has followed this book through and not been helped by it I would like to hear from them)
Be wary of magic cures.. the real 'cure' is in you.
Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 39 Location: in the center of the moon that glides above Detroit, Michigan
Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject:
But people have been writting self-help books since the 19th century(they might be older than that) and there are still people all over the world who suffer from negative thoughts. So what makes this particular book, Self-coaching, any more better than other self-help books? I don't think you can boldly say "this is the cure" just because it worked for you, but it won't work for everyone. Yeah meds aren't cures either because you must take them every single day. Not too mention, all its really doing is numbing your "illness". But for me, that would be a helluvalot better than "feeling" that illness day after day...
However, I can feel happy knowing about the few people who have helped themselves, like you Chris. Not too sound selfish and all, but I'm jealous of your happiness .
_________________ The Lone Wolf's Cry
Lonely now, as I always was, I cry the lonely cry of a wolf. -By Nadine Mondrae,age 13
Books like "how to" (overcome depression, get rid of anxiety etc. etc.), have never been helpful to me. Books that are helpful are those, which give you hope, happiness and motivation. Once you have this, everything is easy.
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Yeah meds aren't cures either because you must take them every single day. Not too mention, all its really doing is numbing your "illness". But for me, that would be a helluvalot better than "feeling" that illness day after day...
Not too sound selfish and all, but I'm jealous of your happiness 
.
