My story (needs advice)

ricoche · Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:12 am Post subject: My story (needs advice)

I'm not going to post it in the personal stories thing cuz this isn't gonna help anybody. I need help. I'm 14 years old and I've never been with someone (not really amazing but it really bothers me). There's that boy I really like (he's funny, kind, cute Very Happy

) but he doesn't care about me. It's like I didn't exist for him. No, worse! I'm... not very popular cuz I'm too shy so he probably has a very bad opinion of me. So here is my (very classical) problem:
1- I'm too shy to ask him out
2- He would never accept anyway
What should I do? Please don't tell me to go and tell him that I love him cuz he would say no for sure. I'm not even sure I ever talked to him. What I want to know is how could I improve my chances with him. What should I do to make boys find me attractive?

GettingThere · Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:13 am Post subject:

If he is not interested then maybe you should not set your heart on him, there are plenty of other boys.

All I can offer in the way of advice is to say to just be yourself (a little cliched I know but true) because one day you will realise just how nice you are/were. I'll bet that you have a lot to offer so just try to relax.

cody2468 · Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:47 am Post subject:

I don't think you have got anything to worry about. If he hasnt noticed you or appears to not care about you then I wouldn't ask him ask out. I would maybe say hello and try having a conversation with him about anything. If he still is really distant then obviously he really isnt interested. I wouldnt worry about it as you are still young and still have lots of time to meet the right person.

Guest · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 12:17 am Post subject: Re: My story (needs advice)

Guest · Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 12:35 am Post subject:

Hey, man, you are going thru a trhing called "growing up". U might just treat all us old criitters (i.e. over 20) as just old critters - but hey, man, we were all there once. There is nothing easy about learning to love. We don't get taught about it in school
The only advice I ever give is - follow your heart. Thew only question I would ask of you is - do you truly know your heart?
The only thing is, whatever you do - there will be consequences. The reality of being "grown up" is that you accept those consequences.
Love and kisses,
Astrid

Mici · Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:41 pm Post subject:

Try not to feel pressured into anything you don't really want to do. It's difficult sometimes when it seems like everyone else is doing it, and you feel like the odd one out. But getting into a bad relationship for the wrong reasons is not much fun either.

Hamble · Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:48 pm Post subject:

Tell yourself this, he either needs glasses or he's gay. Why else would he not realise you exsist? Smile

You have about 25 years (before you get ur first grey hair and everything begins to head south) of meeting more gorgeous, kind funny blokes and having them fancying you, so if this particular one doesnt, don't think it's the end of the world. Wink

You can't make boys find you attractive as you say, there isnt a magic lipstick or chat up line. Just try and be friendly and approachable. And stop putting yourself down, you have to feel attractive to exude it if that makes sense.

Chilling__Echo · Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 2:13 pm Post subject:

i like what hamble said! and i totally agree. if you really like him, talk to him, and if he's simply not interested, there are so many other guys you're going to meet that you are sure to hit it off with. there's someone for everyone. don't change yourself for someone else. stay who you are Very Happy

Dedication · Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 3:21 pm Post subject:

I agree with Hamble and Chilling_Echo (and I wish someone would tell me how to use these damnable quotes!). I'm probably the worst person in the world to give out advice on first contact with the opposite sex but I have so many regrets about the chances I've squandered that I've vowed "no more squandering!" for me or anyone else.

So here's the dilly-o: I think you should just start off with a "Hi" and move right into some small talk (you can even write down what you're going to say beforehand). Small talk may seem lame but it gives us a lot of information about the other person...which in turn gives us the fuel for more indepth conversations...which gives us the opportunity to really connect with others. The trick is is to be open to hear what's being said and to ask a lot of questions.

And who knows if it will work out or not...you guys will either resonate or you won't. No harm and no foul for trying. If it works out then you have a chance at something really nice. If it doesn't work out then you can use that experience...add it to your wisdom bank...and move on. Rejection is hard...one of the hardest things in the world to deal with...but it's through these types of experiences that enable us to grow. I believe every experience...good and bad...gives us valuable information that we can use to improve ourselves (okay it sounds hokey but it's true).

Hamble...you mean there's no such thing as magic lipstick?

Hamble · Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:00 pm Post subject: