Afraid of females

Josh90 · Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 1:10 am Post subject:

I never know what to say to them, its so alien. I dont have the problem around my mle friends though

toothpastekisses · Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 1:32 am Post subject:

Nah, we ain't that bad!
Unless, of course, you catch us on a full moon.
Twisted Evil

I feel so much more "myself" around guys though, which is quite worrying.

Cruddy · Newbie User Joined: Jul 04, 2008 Posts: 6

Ill tell you my story and hopefully it will help you. I am a female who has been very anxious around men all my life. Ive always felt more comfortable around women and almost all my friends have been women, up until now. If you met me you might not know I have social phobias because I come across as open, friendly and genuine. But that has only happened because of years of forcing myself to do things that made me uncomfortable. (I still dont like the phone though) Anyway, to get over my fear of men I decided to take a job doing production line work in a place that is 98% men. When I started I didnt know what to do so I just talked to the older men as they were less intimidating. One of my best assets and something that I use to make myself comfortable around people is humour. People think Im hilarious but its just a ruse to ease my fears. Its now 3 years later and my life has changed dramatically. I ended up becoming best friends with a girl who started there a year after me. She is extremely outgoing and all her friends are guys. By hanging with her I was able to watch how she acts and how guys react to her. It made me jealous alot but that jealousy pushed me into action. I now feel alot more comfortable flirting, touching, and opening up to men. I dont see all guys as a threat anymore and realize they are just people. It still is hard to deal with guys that Im attracted to but Im learning about that too. Its taking alot of patience with myself and I get very sad that I havent been with anyone in over 3 years. But the good thing is that in the meantime Ive been able to develop into the kind of person that I want to be. I had no idea before now that I was doing so many things wrong, socially that is, and now I have most of the puzzle pieces put together. If you can handle it then I suggest you immerse yourself in the female culture and befriend a guy who has lots of female friends. (not a guy who is a womanizer as that will just stress you out). Its quite a learning experience. Good luck dude. Smile

Dave_McFadden · Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 3:18 am Post subject:

Fear of Females. Hmmm. So, here's the story. I went to work the one morning a few weeks ago. I parked my car and started walking toward the building. I look over and out of the corner of my eye I see this woman out of the corner of my eye that I never saw before. I thought she was attractive, even though I wasn't in a position where I could stare. Anyway, they way we were situated, I got to the door first, and I was nervous about having her behind me. I could FEEL her disapproval on the back of my neck. The first thought that jumped into my mind was, I have to stand near her at the elevator, and I will be nervous. So that won't be fun. Hopefully I won't give it away too much. Good. So I get to the elevator, and press the button. I'm standing there about 15 seconds when she gets there. Meanwhile, I'm trying to do my best "waiting for the elevator" pose, where I don't really face anyone in particular, but I try not to look like I'm deliberately facing away from anyone. Anyway, I see that she comes over and looks at the button. I didn't get a good read on her facial expression, but she seemed a little puzzled, and I look down in time to see her press the up elevator button. In my nervousness I had pressed the DOWN elevator button! On the second floor!! Then, predictably, the down elevator came before the up one, so I stood there for a second thinking I should get on it and act like, in the words of Pee Wee Herman, "I meant to do that" but I figured that I would just look dumber and so I should just suck it up and get in the up elevator when it came. So the up elevator came, we got on, nothing happened, and I got off. And I was pissed at myself about it for the rest of the day. So WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I'M THIRTY-FREAKING-EIGHT YEARS OLD! I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OVER THIS SH*T A LONG TIME AGO!!! I CAN'T EVEN WAIT FOR AN ELEVATOR WITH AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WITHOUT TAKING CONSTANT INVENTORY OF MY POSTURE, MY EXPRESSIONS, AND EVEN MY BREATHING!!! AND EVEN THEN I SCREW SOMETHING UP!!!

Okee dokee. Well. At least my beer understands....

2Crowded · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 6:09 am Post subject:

update: Still nervous of them....unless I happen to know them real well.....but I can pretend to be ok.

chris87 · Advanced User Joined: Jul 09, 2008 Posts: 336

I get so nervous. It's not necessarily the talking part that makes it difficult for me. I'm more concerned about how I would be perceived (from the standpoint of a female). I'm so self-conscious, it's not even funny. I don't think someone would ever want to date me, until I corrected this problem.

Kien · Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject:

I get uncomfortable when they are pretty. It makes me think they and their friends hate me.

_________________
Stop making kids.
Compulsory sterilization is good.
More security. Less freedom.
The word "cowardly" is often used as another word for effectivly.

Argamemnon · Expert User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 714

billy · Newbie User Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 71

I get more anxiety around girls i feel attractive too. I find older woman though to be the easiest to talk too. Older woman seem to be very outgoing and easy to talk too. That is what i actually did to help my start some conversation skills. I'm not funny at all but if i get a decent situation i could hold a small conversation in class. Anyone else feel this way about older woman?

Ventrilo · Newbie User Joined: Aug 28, 2008 Posts: 64

i'm massively afraid of every female my age on the planet.