Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:11 am Post subject: A question for anybody who has been treated for SP
I was just wondering whether you guys & girls managed to 'catch up' so to speak. For example, when you were relieved of the anxiety, did you learn to engage in conversation better (have more things to talk about and be able to respond more) and have a more noticeable presense, especially in groups? Do people still call you shy?
good question. Im also interested in people's feedback/experience.
I'm shy, and always have been, it's hard to see myself ever changing. I know it's probably possible but I imagine it would be a lot of work and easy to revert back to old habits...?
I was just wondering whether you guys & girls managed to 'catch up' so to speak. For example, when you were relieved of the anxiety, did you learn to engage in conversation better (have more things to talk about and be able to respond more) and have a more noticeable presense, especially in groups? Do people still call you shy?
I had treatment a while back. People still do call me shy but that is through no ones fault but my own.
One of the "games" my psych and I used to do was role playing...where she was someone...hairstylist, aqquaintance...whoever...and I had to keep a conversation going. Basically when dealing with people I am not comfortable with...I am supposed to imagine that I am playing the game. Sometimes it works...sometimes it fails.
Treatment will help you to kind of force yourself to talk to other people.
long answer:
i haven't been medicated or in therapy in years but i have since submerged myself in social situations out of sheer necessity. these social situations are basically my occupations: student (not so social) and waitress (extremely social). besides attending school or going to work i don't socialize because i feel that work, alone, drains me of energy. after work i feel like i have no more tolerance for being social and i just want to hide away and de-stress. anyway, the point is i submerge myself and some say that is the best way to get over social anxiety.
since submerging myself in these social situations my self discipline has improved since i now show up. i used to drive somewhere, panic, sit in my car, then drive back home- quitting many jobs and school this way. my physical responses to social situations are still exactly the same- nothing has changed. when i am around people i go into fight or flight mode, really bad. supressing the urge to fight or flight is draining. it makes me come across as extremely awkward, maybe even autistic, or someone who cannot be trusted. i do not engage in conversation much beyond very generic and sometimes scripted lines. while engaging in this converstation all my body wants to do is get the fuck away from whoever i'm talking to to where i can't be seen, even if they are genuinely nice people with good intentions. so submerging myself in social situations at this point is not voluntary and is still emotionally painful. why is it emotionally painful to just be around people? to just show up at work?
even when i was medicated i still felt anxiety but i can't remember much because it was a long time ago. in my case i was medicated, and perhaps it helped my anxiety (i don't remember much), but because all of my life i never had a sense of direction i still didn't know what to do with myself. i was still incredibly lost. now i feel i have more direction in my life and wonder if the medication would be of more help.
this is engrained in me. i don't think this is going to change no matter how hard i try. nature vs nurture- i don't know. even if it is nurture, it is far too late and far too permanent to just turn off. by now i have learned that this is a life long affliction.
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1378 Location: Wales, UK
Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:15 pm Post subject:
There's nothing wrong with being shy...Being social phobic is different. Being shy is a beautiful quality in my opinion, but social phobia is a different thing because it impairs one's life.
There's nothing wrong with being shy...Being social phobic is different. Being shy is a beautiful quality in my opinion, but social phobia is a different thing because it impairs one's life.
I don’t think that being just shy (not SP) is a good quality. In the modern and cruel world it isn’t. If you are shy, you risk to be overridden by the insolent and arrogant people. Even the most mediocre people can be successful in their life if they have enough self confidence and being a little bit cheeky. For instance – if you apply for a new job – you may have the qualities, but another self confident person will be hired. If you like a girl and are shy around her, another man will take her and so on and so on…
So, to my mind shyness is one of the worst qualities.
Joined: Aug 24, 2006 Posts: 141 Location: nowhere USA
Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:37 pm Post subject:
when I got on Xanax XR, it was like I didn't have any anxiety. Unfortunately, I'm building up a tolerance to it. Alcohol helps too, but don't go down that road. Actually don't take Xanax XR or any other benzo unless you really have to. Withdraw, tolerance, rebound anxiety and the fact that they knock you out sucks. I would really like to get off benzos and get some real therapy that gets to the root of the problem, instead of masking it. Getting off them, if I ever do, is not going to be fun either!
There's nothing wrong with being shy...Being social phobic is different. Being shy is a beautiful quality in my opinion, but social phobia is a different thing because it impairs one's life.
I don’t think that being just shy (not SP) is a good quality. In the modern and cruel world it isn’t. If you are shy, you risk to be overridden by the insolent and arrogant people. Even the most mediocre people can be successful in their life if they have enough self confidence and being a little bit cheeky. For instance – if you apply for a new job – you may have the qualities, but another self confident person will be hired. If you like a girl and are shy around her, another man will take her and so on and so on…
So, to my mind shyness is one of the worst qualities.
I know someone who I believe used to have a form of SP throughout her childhood and until she was about 16, she lost around 4 stone in weight and shes very, very talkative now. She has so much confidence, people are always saying they never thought she'd be like that, she has made so many friends aswell. It was obviously down to the weight loss but thats not the answer for all of us, obviously. I'm quite jealous of her, I used to feel superior when I was younger where I was more confident, but now she towers above me. Good on her though
I know someone who I believe used to have a form of SP throughout her childhood and until she was about 16, she lost around 4 stone in weight and shes very, very talkative now. She has so much confidence, people are always saying they never thought she'd be like that, she has made so many friends aswell. It was obviously down to the weight loss but thats not the answer for all of us, obviously. I'm quite jealous of her, I used to feel superior when I was younger where I was more confident, but now she towers above me. Good on her though
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