Women in nightclubs

steviegerrard489 · Intermediate User Joined: Aug 04, 2006 Posts: 120

Well last night I actually went out with some 'friends'. I put friends in commas because I don't quite consider them to be proper friends just yet. Probably borderline acquaintance / friend...

Anyway, we went to this girl's birthday party and then moved onto this trendy bar full of 20-somethings. These people I went with were mostly people I work with so they basically know my situation: i.e not many friends, shy, no girlfriend.

In all the time I've known them I've never tried to flirt or get intimate with any woman in our presence, because: a)I'm too shy to pluck up the courage, b)I'm embarrassed knowing that they will be watching, and c)I might get rejected by the girl.

For example, I've known this particular group of 'friends' for about 1.5 years but in all the times we've been out to bars and nightclubs I've rarely tried chatting to anyone outside our social group.

I guess I'm just too weak but I really need to find some courage to get over my fears.

Anyone else feel like this?

Pinker · Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:38 pm Post subject:

It's difficult because unlike other things like a course or yoga (for example lol), you can't really start a conversation on a common ground. All you can do is just get in there. If they don't brush you off when you go over ask if you can buy them a drink..

Liz17 · Intermediate User Joined: May 13, 2008 Posts: 117

Yes offering them a drink would be good, If they say no thanks it is a small rejection but its not I direct refusal, if they want one it usually means that they might be interested. So give it a go, theres no harm in doing it gradually, then naturally they may strike up a conversation with you.

smittenkitten · Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: Re: Women in nightclubs

Bonus44 · Newbie User Joined: Apr 26, 2008 Posts: 6

smittenkitten wrote "..I wanted to tell you that you're not alone in your fears of rejection; I share them whole heartedly.."

I wouldn't worry about rejection smittenkitten.. you're HOT. Laughing

smittenkitten · Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject:

Pinker · Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject:

LOL! Haha

shield · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 152

I think its very scary for guys to talk to girls they don't know. Even for guys who aren't shy this is one of the most daunting things you can do. Maybe you should work up to this but keep it as an end goal.

Milton5a · Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 8:21 am Post subject:

Never been to a nightclub, too embarassed that someone would say something nasty Sad

restless · Newbie User Joined: Aug 09, 2008 Posts: 19

In the very few occasions in which I was in the nightclub I was very depressed. Just sitting there, drinking and no chance for proper interaction with other people – mostly unfamiliar. I don’t feel at the same level with them. I feel inferior to all of them. They have a proper social life. They have a themes for conversation in which I have nothing to say – sexual themes etc.
I just stuck to people which I knew previously. Even being drunk I feel no comfort being in such places. Yes, I become more talkative, the alcohol relieves my anxiety, but still I have no guts to start a conversation with unfamiliar girl. I constantly repeated to myself: “What are you searching here, loser? You have nothing to do with all these people. They are outgoing persons. They enjoy their life. They don’t like you. Girls even don’t notice you.”
At the other day I felt even more depressed. I wasn’t satisfied. So I don’t like being in nightclubs, because I can’t achieve something there. I can’t find new friends or girlfriend. I prefer going to parties, although I haven’t been at party for two years.