My workplace is becoming hell

cobalt_bluester · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:14 pm Post subject: My workplace is becoming hell

My workplace is becoming hell for me, as I strongly feel that hardly anybody likes me there, and also my illness with depression and social phobia is making my life unbearable, and not worth living. I feel really uncomfortable with a number of people in the office, and can sense that they sense that maybe something is wrong with me, or I am different to the 'norm' in some way. Hell, I really don't know what they think of me but know they can't really like, or respect me at all because I get funny looks of them sometimes and they just don't speak to me much at all, and yet freely speak with other co-workers. I hate, really hate making non verbal eye contact as I am always aware exactly of what my eyes are doing and it becomes strained and unatural.

I feel that a bad situation is made worse by their poor attitude towards me, and their lack of empathy and understanding comes across very clearly. They are aware that I have depression and yet I still feel they don't understand how horrible this is for me. On several ocassions I have been told to 'cheer up' or people have said that I am very quiet - but how am I supposed to answer that it seems a very silly question i.e. should I respond with "Yes, you're right I am quiet", or maybe, "Sorry"!?!

Anyway, all this is driving me to despair and I don't know what I should / can do. I would look for another job but I am 37 and there are few opportunities of quality jobs in this area for me. I feel like I have reached the end of the road and don't see much point in my life as it is. I am a troubled person who is a bad fit for this society. Can anybody help me with this or offer me some sound advice as I don't know what else I can do.

dottie · Expert User Joined: Sep 06, 2007 Posts: 566 Location: USA

are you in therapy? i wish i had advice for you. i am going through similar stuff. my eye contact is god awful, i say the most minimal scripted things, and my body feels totally awkward and at unease when i am around certain (well, most) people at work. last night these 2 girls i work with kept whispering about me. or i would walk into the room, they would suddenly get real quiet and look at me with bug eyes. i couldn't just hang out with them, i was the odd one out. it added to the anxiety of course. the only semblance of advice i can give is to just live day by day. ignore the bastards. you aren't there to make friends, you have a job to do. when people tell me to cheer up or be quiet i don't say anything either. wtf are you supposed to say? pointing out that you're quiet is very rude and doesn't garner a response anyway. i mean, you could be rude back and say, "thanks for pointing that out, asshole." which is what i would like to say but would never have the balls to.

i really appreciate reading your posts because most people with SAD seem to be around 19. we should have a board for adults who aren't teens or the typical college age. i think we experience something different. the younger kids seem to have the perspective of- how do i cure myself? how do i get rid of this? while we have the position of- this shit obviously isn't going away- how do i cope with it?

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steviegerrard489 · Intermediate User Joined: Aug 04, 2006 Posts: 120

Ursula · Newbie User Joined: Dec 16, 2007 Posts: 40

Just wanted you both to know I'm 36 and can empathise with your feelings about work. I haven't had a job for a long time as I was extremely depressed when I had to face people every day. I'd feel a hypocrite giving any advice as I haven't made much progress myself but I know what you're going through. It'd be good to have a forum for older people on here as it becomes a slightly different struggle when you've been grappling with it for years and years- seems like an eternity for me! It's good to read this forum as I always thought I was the shyest person who ever existed. Anyway, hope things get more bearable soon- people can be so unsympathetic to nervous, awkward people in the workplace. It's just as much their problem that they've got no empathy or imagination as ours for being this way.

recluse · Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 10:46 am Post subject:

I understand. No one has mentioned that i look anxious and depressed, but i can feel that people feel awkward in my company. It's horrible.

Pinker · Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 2:47 pm Post subject:

cobalt, I remember you saying you have a wife? Hang in there for her. You still have family around you? You said something about getting your own designs published to some degree, how's that going?

Rodox · Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:46 pm Post subject:

Tell me about it,my last job and this one are f****d too, all because of gossip,drives me crazy,the best thing is to change jobs if you can, I cant think of any other advice,but think well as you said.

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rado31 · Expert User Joined: Sep 15, 2006 Posts: 694

yes , i did quit some jobs.

But i m not sure that it helped my stress to minimize.

Simply, it is very hard living like isolated island.

Infected_Malignity · Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:35 pm Post subject:

i have faith in you... you'll come around.

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cobalt_bluester · Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject: