AvPD, so it is.

sylar988 · Newbie User Joined: May 05, 2008 Posts: 15

I finally discovered what i've been suffering throughout my life. AvPD. I won't even go through the symptons because everyone is familiar with it.

I'm just glad i found my specific diagnosis and other people who have the same problems i do. I want to know more now.

My question is: has anyone with AvPD been able to get rid of it completely? Being able to just not care what other people think of you and act accordingly, as someone who doesn't care? That seems to be my biggest problem. I overanalyze and as a consequence i can't function socially very well because a large part of the resources of my mind are spent analyzing everything and controlling my behaviour.

Also, i would like to not that AvPD could have positive sides, at least for someone who eventually gets rid of it. All our efforts and in analyzing social situations and our tendency (at least for me) to ferociously study social interactions and psychology and a whole lot of other subjects related to it have given me a maturity that most people my age would never dream of. The problem is i still behave as someone who doesn't know anything about social skills, but inside i am aware of much more facts than the people i'm interacting with will ever imagine. I assume if i could eventually get rid of AvPD and act normal, i'll be so more mature and will have much more of an advantage in social interactions being even able to manipulate the interactions and situations around me to my will.

Alright this is all for now. It's a shame that this forum doesn't have many people and isn't very active. Is it because so few people have AvPD? This could explain why i had never heard of this term before.

bletch · Newbie User Joined: Apr 19, 2008 Posts: 19

I think that most Avoidants tend to post in the main SPW forum anyway, since the problems tend to overlap a lot. (and also because it's at the top of the page.) The only real differences are the physical symptoms.

Esme · Newbie User Joined: Jun 14, 2008 Posts: 3

well i have gotten a little better. I used to have panic attacks every day in social situations. I noticed the pattern of beforehand, knowing the attacks would happen. Once i realized this, when i got the foreboding feeling, i thought to myself "give it a rest" and then just forced myself to think of other things, and to not care..

I basically thought to myself, "i don't care anymore, everyone has noticed it already, whats done is done", and that stopped the panic attacks. For a while i was fine, except on a couple of off days. I still didnt talk much at all. the people around me were trying to get me to open up. I dont think i tried hard enough to talk though. When they became sort of aggressive, (it must have been frustrating for them) The next day i had an attack (probably due to the stress of feeling pressure to SAY something)

so yes, i do think that people can improve. as for getting rid of it completely, anything is possible.

comfortablynumb · Newbie User Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 1

In my opinion, you can never get rid of AvPD completely. It would be like completely rewriting my operating system. I remember watching a TV documentary on alcoholism where someone stated that he "hadn't had a drink in 20 years." The questioner says, "So you're not an alcoholic any more?" He replies: "No, I'm still an alcoholic, I just don't drink."

I've decided it's kind of like this with AvPD, and probably all these other various "disorders." Mainly because for several years now I've tried and failed, tried and failed to just wake up some morning and Be Different From Now On. But you can't just get up one morning and say "well, I'm just not going to fear rejection anymore." You mean it at that moment, but: it's one thing to recognize that how you're thinking is neurotic, and another to actually feel differently the next day, or a week from now. The rational part of your head is always at war with your feelings, and your feelings always sabotage your actions.

I've decided that the best way to approach it is just to try to develop new habits, to consciously try not to avoid everything, whether or not it actually feels good to do it. I've found that if I wait until I "feel" like doing it, it never happens, because, of course, I NEVER feel like it. That's the whole definition of Avoidance. It works for me, at least some of the time. Eventually my heart will catch up with my head, at least part-way. Anyway that's my theory, my hope.