Some days i feel it isnt, other days i feel it is.
Some days life is heavy like a thousand tons
Some days i just want to die because i feel i cant do anything right, i cant be good at anything, i cant make anyone happy.
I fight myself and APD every single day, but most of the time i get the feeling i am loosing the battle.
let me tell you right now that life is DEFINETLY worth it! Here's what you gotta do: Go sky diving, or bunjy jumpig, cliff jumping....anything that really gets the adrenalin rushing (it's been my experience that a good old adrenalin rush is a million times better than the feeling of being loved or having friends) Once you do one of those things you'll realize that you can still have tons of fun with your life...even more than the popular people who just get drunk every night because they're boring otherwise. You have a lot to live for...love and friendship are just a small part of what would be a perfect life!
life is always worth it. i must admit, im not having the greatest time at the moment either, i get on/off depersonalization and im going through a patch of it at the moment, which is annoying coz i havnt had it before now for about a year, so i thought i had finally gotten ridden of it.
Its horrible, coz normally im a very confident person, laughs alot and makes jokes alot, generally see the funny side to everything. but in these little patches, im paranoid, suspicous and ive constantly got a monologue in my head off what im currently doing or evaluating what im saying. eh! i just shut it out. and make my mind go completely blank till it fucks off again.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel, you just have to keep walking towards it and eventualy step into it. thats all anyone can do.
Life isn't worth it for me. I can't remember the last time I actually felt any happiness. I feel empty from the inside. Only thing that keeps me alive is because I want to see the girl I love one more time before I die...
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