Do People Do/Say Things That Make You Feel Unwelcome?

Skog · Newbie User Joined: Jul 13, 2006 Posts: 82 Location: USA

Do you find that other people make you feel unwelcome? I’m assuming this is a common AvPD experience.

If so, is it just us, or is it something other people subliminally do because they don’t really want to be around someone who has AvPD? It seems to me that sometimes people choose their words so they make me feel unwelcome. They don’t say “Have some birthday cake with us”; they say “There’s birthday cake at my desk.” The first statement is a direct invitation; the second is a declaratory sentence which may imply an invitation or may just imply a feeling of social obligation to tell me about the event. If I don’t show up for cake based on the second sentence, I’m sure the speaker would still feel polite and would take credit for having invited me, but perhaps without thinking about it the statement was made the second way because the speaker didn’t really care if I joined in the event.

I realize this is the monitoring of others characteristic of AvPD. That doesn’t disprove the premise, though. Maybe we are correctly perceiving the insincerity of others.