The world revolves around me.

Chod77 · Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject:

Yea I guess I'm pretty selfish. I try really hard not to be. My dad called me a narcissist the other day. I was kinda shocked because I'm not vain, but I know that he meant I was selfish.

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"When I die I'll go to heaven because I've spent my time in hell."

playthepsychedelic · Newbie User Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 90

I'm sorry, I don't get the link with SA Embarassed

playthepsychedelic · Newbie User Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 90

I'm sorry, I don't get the link with SA Embarassed

DannieCleo · Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject:

the link with SA is that the very essence of SA is being overly concerned with what people think of us when in reality, as the thread starter stated, most people don't care enough about us to think about us as nuch as we think they do.

But when your SA/AvPD is deeply ingrained its difficult to take account of that fact, esp. during stress provoking times.

for me and i'm sure lots of others its a lil different. I work in a gossipy atmosphere whereby the most innocuous of actions is disected and twisted to somehow make it a negative thing and gossipped and speculated about until the next innocuous little thing.

so its hard for me (and i'm sure others who work in similar envorinments) to really hold with the mantra that no one cares about every little thing i do.

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You are not defined by other peoples' opinions of you.

floridateen18 · Newbie User Joined: Jun 25, 2007 Posts: 13

Your affirmations are true, yes, however, your sub-conscious mind does not register the word "not".

So when a person says anything like " I am not the center of attention" to themselves, their sub-conscious mind hears " I am the center of attention"

Your sub-concious mind doesnt respond to not, or negative things, ie.
"I do not want to be shy" will turn into " I want to be shy"

So what is the solution to fix this?

The key is the choice of wording. If I take the same statement i used above and change it to a positive affirmation, this is the result.

" I want to be more social"

Your sub-conscious mind will work with you instead of against you if you re-word your affirmations, and trust me, you want your sub-conscious mind on your side, for it holds the key to everyones deepests, darkest secrets that reside in them, even if they are not aware of it.

Does this sound too farfectched?

It may seem odd, but there are many books written about what I am explaining, and you could even google "sub-concious mind" and "self- programming" together and confirm what I say is true.

I hope that this helps your affirmations give a more positive note, and I feel that if you change their word structure around and tweek it, you will have AMAZING results.

Helyna · Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject:

floridateen18: Really?! Where did you learn this? Why does it work that way? I find this really exciting for some reason. I'm going to try it for a while and see if I can get my thoughts to change. Thanks!

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Slothrop · Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:21 pm Post subject:

Indeed. I realized this some years ago and have been better off since then. It can be a tough realization to put into practice, but it definitely helps.

I prefer the term "self-absorbed" over "selfish" or "narcissistic", as the latter two have misleading connotations. We become absorbed in our own thoughts, which serve to insulate us from reality.

Consider all the times where you "know" that people are thinking negatively about you; the times where you feel like someone looks down on you even though they haven't come right out and said it.

Now think about the arrogance and presumption involved in thinking you know what someone else is thinking. Think about how it's wrong for you to project your own feelings about yourself onto them. That's what's really happening. You obviously can't read their mind, and yet you feel so certain about what they're thinking—why is that?

We imagine that other people can see our thoughts, our feelings, our awful secrets, our past mistakes, our failures; likewise, we imagine that we can see that in other people—we think we know their thoughts, and since we don't see awfulness like our own in them, we assume they don't have it, and that they're better people. "Normal" people.

The truth is that we really can't see into people, and they can't see into us, and that we all have inner problems of one kind or another. And it isn't limited to social anxiety: everybody is bound by the limitation. All we have to go by is communication, the rest is self-indulgent guesswork that ought to be avoided as much as possible.

Psychedelicious · Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 1:10 am Post subject:

People are selfish, they just are. People with social phobia are in a way obsessed with themselves and all their actions, and it's mostly what we think about. We however don't they we are the greatest things on this earth, usually quite the opposite. I just don't understand how it can be narcissism. Sure I'm pretty obsessed with myself and everything that's wrong, but I am sure as hell not in love with myself.

Jellybeans · Newbie User Joined: Sep 02, 2008 Posts: 61