Offended when people call you shy?

n0id · Newbie User Joined: May 30, 2008 Posts: 20

I too feel offended when being called shy.

During a movie at a friends place, I started commenting on something. Someone said "be quiet!". Someone else said lowly to the other "heh, the only time he does talk is when he should be quiet".

That was really painful to hear and not to mention offending.

lilblackcutie · Newbie User Joined: Sep 22, 2008 Posts: 1

I really hate being called shy especially by people I have just met. I try so hard to make a good impression by being chatty and outgoing so for them to then turn around and call me shy is kinda like a slap in the face. Like all my hard work was for nothing.

I also hate when my parents, especially my mum, make little comments about me being quiet and shy. It really upsets me when she calls me unsociable. Like I choose not to interact with people and go out and make new friends. Some people just dont understand how hard and lonely it really is when your a shy person.

LucidPanda · Newbie User Joined: Sep 24, 2008 Posts: 32

I don't think I've ever been offended by that comment...To me It's just a statement of fact based on the observation of my behaviour.

Depending on how I'm feeling I'd just agree or wish that I was more social, *Shrugs*

limetree · Newbie User Joined: Oct 13, 2008 Posts: 43

My insides used to suddenly become heavy whenever I heard the words quiet or shy but now I can't think of truer words to describe myself.
I was taunted in primary school for being "abnormally quiet" and whenever I would say something they'd splurt out "geez, that's the first time we've ever heard you speak!"

Yesterday my *best friend* said in front of one of my acquintences "well this is the first time I've seen you be so...laughing" and it was offensive that people had this rigid perception of me being the broodily silent, serious one. The thought of defying people's expectations feels like such a burden. They wouldn't need to if we can try to be more open minded about what people are capable of and foster encouragement, growth, instead of assuming we're all such "good judges of character."

Nikki_18 · Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:58 am Post subject:

I know exactly what you mean, I always feel offended when people call me quiet or shy, especially when I'm trying my best to join in conversations and be more confident. When people comment on it I loose the confidence to say anything at all and end up not talking to them. I really hate it when people comment on it because it makes me feel different and that I shouldn't be there or something just because I'm shy. Especially when there's a group of people around me, I feel embarrassed about my shyness and withdraw :S

Secret · Newbie User Joined: Nov 05, 2008 Posts: 18

bitingthepea · Newbie User Joined: Nov 10, 2008 Posts: 57

hey
yeah i get offedned when people call me shy aswell
Im glad im not loud really but people see shy as a bad thing
I think shy people are always the nicer ones
(Y) Very Happy

lyricalliaisons · Intermediate User Joined: Nov 10, 2008 Posts: 142

It bothers me when people call me shy, but that's mainly because they think I'm "only" shy. For me, it goes MUCH deeper than shyness. I only WISH I were shy. I also hate it when people ask me if I'm shy... as if it isn't obvious. I feel as if people look down on me & talk down to me because of it.

_________________
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” _Dr. Seuss

Ebbe · Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject:

I don't often feel offended when people call me shy. I do get disappointed and sad when it happens. The only time I was really offended was by the following:

I was working somewhere and I had to visit another department. A guy there started talking to me and said: "So I heared from your colleagues that you are really shy. Well don't worry, you are still young, you'll get over it. So how old are you? 18?". Then when I told him I was 24 he suddenly got really annoyed and said: "Well it's about time you got over it then, isn't it?".
It still makes me fume when I think about it. Back then I just wanted to get out of there and cry.

Angel4444 · Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:24 am Post subject:

Yeah, I know what you mean, it's like an insult because you know you're only 'shy' around certain people and in certain situations. On my school reports teacher's would always write that I was a 'quiet and conceintous (sp?) student'. Like I'm there to learn, aren't I, they should be happy I'm not running round the classroom screaming!