I dont know if this is agarophobia or not, but recently ive been feeling very nervous when I go outside. I mean really nervous, very paranoid. I feel like everyone wants to hurt me. especially when there are lots of people in a group. I have social anxiety but about a year ago, I used to love going out. It was a way for me to relax, taking walks. I live in newark, and recently there have been several violent events around my block. I few months back I was jumped, and robbed at knife point on the same month. I guess this is whats causing my fear. any thoughts??
I have been on therapy for this long enough to know how the conventional therapy works. You set a very small goal, the one you know you could do. It could be very small as just turning the door knob to open the door. That could still make you anxious but the fact that you did it makes it easier for you to do it next time.
The idea is not just doing it and getting it over with. The idea is that you gradually build up the tolerance and desensitize yourself. You do it in a safe and controllable environment so that you don't feel out of control. You need to feel like you are in control; otherwise, you probably wouldn't do it.
Remember, it has nothing to do with your intelligence or your strength. There are many people who are suffering from this and it is treatable.
I believe agoraphobic people are simply too self-conscious, they think they're being watched and judged all the time and this makes them uneasy when they're in the company of others. In this way, agoraphobia is really just another type of social phobia, it just happens to be worse when you get away from your safety zone.
I was told to ask myself this rather odd question: could I walk happily down my high street and into the shops and cafes if everyone else were blind? I realised I could, that it was the scrutiny of other people that I feared and if they were all blind I wouldn't have to worry about them looking at me. That if I suddenly felt dizzy or faint it wouldn't matter because they wouldn't be able to see me, so I'd feel better a lot faster if I didn't have to worry about them watching and judging me. Does this strike a chord with anyone else here?
It was after I'd thought about this that I realised properly for the first time how much self-consciousness was ruining my life. Of course I knew people weren't really watching and judging me all the time, but this was what I'd been telling myself for years. I made a real effort after that to tell myself that other people had better things to do that scrutinise me from the moment I left home to the moment I returned, and this made a big difference to how I felt. It took a long time to get my confidence back but I'm glad to say now that I no longer feel so afraid to go out or uneasy when in other people's company.
yeah, sadly I told myself once I had all my teeth fixed (braces) I could go out and feel less ugly and more confident. Maybe Im using that as an excuse?
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