Making friends but not feeling a "connection"

NothingElseMatters · Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:30 pm Post subject:

you can't have a 'magic' friend relationship with everyone.if it was like that then it wouldn be magic at all! special friends are hard to find Rolling Eyes

Argamemnon · Expert User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 757

Owl · Newbie User Joined: Aug 02, 2008 Posts: 3

I think we tend to expect a lot from others (speaking from experiance). I am a rubbish friend,I barely bother contacting my few friends I still have and don't feel that connected to them.
You do see in TV these great friend types enjoying life and all happy. It makes your own life feel rubbish.
Smile

Getting back to the point. Think you can expect alot from others. I read somewhere you should 'be the friend you would like to have'. I took it to mean you should remember little things like Birthdays,or sent txt if you know someones going through bad time and organise differant things.Rather than waiting to be asked etc.
I've totaly let this view slid and hence nearly forgot my friends birthday recent and in general can't be bothered with people,just don't feel connected or interested. like if someone gets married or what ever,just feel nothing. Just recent having to keep buying presents for people!

Lexmark · Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:53 am Post subject:

I get this all the time
I only have 1 real freind but have had plenty of mates
It just comes back to us being ourselves

klw3jvg5kl · Newbie User Joined: Aug 23, 2008 Posts: 1

Yeah I totally relate..

I just know.. that the magic happens when you're happy with something about yourself.. and you 'use' your new so-called friends to show it to.. that's when the magic happens. But you're not really using them, cause after you 'show' them your [whatever you're happy about yourself with], you wait for them to show you theirs, and you both say 'coooooll!!!' and high-five, and that's when you think *hmm, something magical just happened*

.. So obiously, if you don't got nothing you're happy about yourself with, that moment can never happen..

littl3misstrange · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:36 pm Post subject:

Wow, I'm so far away from being happy with myself right now, that I'll probably be without a single friend/relationship until I'm like, 40. Sad

Some_guy · Intermediate User Joined: Oct 22, 2006 Posts: 120

It's good that you have standards. What can I say, if there's no connection, there's none. A true deep connection is kinda rare, those will usually end up to be your greatest friendships.

PhantomPod · Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:10 am Post subject:

I always feel the same way, when I feel as though a friendship starts to form.

At work, this one girl recently asked me to go to the mall with her during break. So I went with her, and it was mostly her telling me about her life and her relationships. Like she had just broken up with her boyfriend and I'm sitting there thinking, "yeah, I uh, can't relate at all, as I've never even had a boyfriend before." Also, as the holidays are approaching, our company's Christmas party is coming up soon. Since she broke up with her boyfriend she mentioned that now she wouldn't have a date. So I asked if she thought others would have dates and she said that most people may just bring a friend, and she told me to just bring a friend if I didn't have a date. And I'm sitting there quietly think, "yeah, I would, if only I had a single friend to bring."

It just feels like I act more quiet and reserved than usual, because I'm always so on guard and don't want anyone to find out how pathetic my life really is and how I have no friends and I am completely innocent in that I've never had a boyfriend before. So when I am with acquaintances/potential friends, I barely open up about myself and it ends up being that I just sit there listening to their life stories.