Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:55 pm Post subject: In a bit of a pickle...
'Kaaay, so I'm starting at uni next week and some time ago I joined a group on facebook for this year's freshers. A few people from the group added me as a friend on there, but one in particular messaged me and now it's like he knows everything about me. What's worse is that I live in London only a short journey from the uni but he's travelling all the way from Rome to stay in halls. He's so much more cultured than me as he's lived in loads of different places and consequently has tons on friends. He probably knows more about London already than I do, and I'm scared that if we meet up he'll rely on me as some kind of tour guide who knows about all the cool pubs and clubs which is laughable. I'm guilty of over-exaggerating on the internet so he probably thinks I'm this outgoing, confident person with immense social skills (hahaha). Anyway, he keeps texting me hinting that he wants to meet before uni starts but I have absolutely no idea what to say back or what to suggest we do. I've been a bit of a recluse recently. Help please?!
But seriously, you should maybe try to meet up with him, as long he isn't the creepy type. As for where to go... umm maybe go for lunch or something? Food usually works well. That way you'll know at least one person when school starts. He probably doesn't know a whole lot of people either. Then again, he might just be out for some booty lol... I don't know. I guess you could always compromise and say you could meet him on campus once school actually starts.
Of course, I don't know if I actually even take my own advice...
shit man, I know that feeling very well. I feel way more comfortable and talkative online than I do in person. I met up with an online friend a while ago and I was brickin it, because I'd been so open and totally myself over email and msn, but I knew I'd get tongue tied and introverted and depressed and I'd freeze up in person, and I was terrified that we'd have those "moments" where it all gets weird with awkard silences etc....luckily it turned out really well in the end, as it often does....
but anyway, my advice, if you'd like it, is to just be yourself, which includes all your social fears, cause that's a part of you too. I think you should just be yourself, because you're an awesome person, shyness included. I think everybody's got problems...everybody's got crap that they'd rather others not see....and everybody's insecure that others will reject them upon discovering this crap....including this bloke, I'm sure he's just as imperfect as everyone else.
The fact that he may know more about London already than you do shouldn't be a source of shame....not in my books anyway....I think it's charming that you don't know much about london [although you probably know more than you think!], cause it shows that you must be passionate about other things.
if I didn't have social anxiety, I'd say that meeting this guy before uni starts could be a great idea...you could make a new friend! What's this guy like? Do you think you could make good firends? Cause if you don't even like him then sod it! But if you do, then I reckon you should give it a bash! Taking risks is good for the soul!
also, he's probably not, but you'll make sure he's not a stalker or anything won't you?!!....don't give out too many personal details and meet him in a public place etc.
but anyway, my last bit of advice would be, even if it goes terribly, I still reckon taking that risk and giving it a bash will be better for you than avoiding it and staying at home. So go for it!
He sounds like a good friend to know. I'd just be honest with him and explain that you're pretty shy - if he's nice, he'll understand. Sometimes though it's good to just jump in there and see how it goes. As long as he knows what to expect then it's cool.
I've met a few online friends now and more often than not they turn out to be nice people. You will come across people who just want to talk about themselves endlessly and never appear to care for anything you say, but come away knowing that those people aren't really for you and put it down to experience.
As for worrying about not knowing enough about London - who cares. I live in Ireland and my uncle came here a few months ago he was educating us on our history whilst he was here - I thought it was hilarious and so did he!
Thanks for the replies guys. And no, I never did meet up with him after all lol. I've seen him around uni a couple of times I think and was going to say "hey" but he didn't respond and gave me a kinda funny look, probably thinking what a terrified looking loser I am
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