Im going to tell my story....

These4walls · Newbie User Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 1

Ok guys well this is me

When i was 4, my father bought me a rocking horse, i really really loved him i called him james. We used to rock all day and i would ride him in my garden. One day i was riding james in my garden, when a pigeon swooped down from the sky and hit my face, it scratched my face and made me, and im ashamed to say this, piss my self. My dad called me a little girl because i cried it scarred me emotionally, years later my dad left home and since then i have rarley ventured in to beyond ( which is what i now refer to as outside), my mum often tries to get me to leave the house but to no avail i just cnt do it id rather stay inside and talk to my self and play www.conqueronline.com server light guild spartans whisper me ingame my name is JD&Coke, i find it much better than beyond as there are no pigeons and i have many enemies and friends online anyone else similar?

Carol · Newbie User Joined: May 18, 2008 Posts: 65

I guess we really have to be careful what we say to little kids! Was that the only thing that caused you to become agorophobic, or were there other things besides? I'm sure your dad didn't mean for that comment to bother you for the rest of your life. He probably just blurted it out without stopping to think that it was cruel thing to say, and then forgot all about it shortly after. (We all do that sometimes.) Why don't you give the outside world another chance? It might be more friendly than you remember.

ifalter · Newbie User Joined: Jun 25, 2008 Posts: 17 Location: USA

Steph21 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 15, 2008 Posts: 9 Location: UK

Yeah my situation is kind of similar, I was abused by my grandad and my dad for 5 years and i was bullied at every school because i was so quiet and the kids could tell i was shy so i was an easy target. When i was 11 i refused to go, i started locking myself in the bathroom and if my mum did get in i held onto the toilet seat, or hid my clothes. I was always quiet because i was threatened if i told anyone what was happening something bad would happen to me because it was my fault and nobody would love me, so i didn't say anything to anyone. My mum tought me at home until i was 16, i havnt been out much since, i'm 21 now and i'm still the same lol, i have improved a bit though, i spend most of my day playing on www.there.com lol its an online virtual world Smile

although i hardly talk to anybody on there because i feel like a loser when they ask me what i do and i don't want to have to explain to them why i don't work or go out so i usually don't answer them and then they think i'm ignorant Rolling Eyes

thats why i'm here so i can talk to people who understand without having to explain myself Smile

creep_x · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 10, 2008 Posts: 179

I had similar experiences when i was around 5-9 i think
I was really afraid of rides & once i was on this ride (someting like a pendulum), I started screaming loudly so that someone would stop it. I was so scared & everybody was luaghing.
Its sad that such incidents can affect us for our whole lives. Its best to avoid thinking them if u can. Obviously u can't avoid automatic thoughts but intentionally playing back such memories can really hurt.

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You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

Remus · Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject:

ahh me too, I was abused at 6, was always a nervous child even before that, then through teenage years I played the clown alot as an a avoidance to shyness, could not relate or talk to adults, then suffered anxiety and depression through my 20's and finally in my 30's I got help for it.

I spend too much time playing online games still like LOTRO http://community.lotro-europe.com/?territory=EnglishUK and perfectworld http://www.perfectworld.ms/# I'm an antisocial gamer and only have a couple of freinds I play with

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I'm not a moderator anymore, please ignore that title, Thelema and Zeroday are mods now Smile