Agoraphobia-fear of leaving my safe zone

Tony2121 · Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:24 pm Post subject: hiya marie

Hiya Marie. hope youve sorted things out with your agoraphobia. i started with this 2 years ago this febuary 2005 and my symptons and lifestyle at the moment are almost identical to yours are or were. i`d love to hear from you to know if overcome this in anyway. all the best Antonio. im not sure if you can contact me through my email so i`ll keep checking here although i think im sent a message to my email if anyone leaves one here .thx and hope to hear from you . keep smiling Smile

i`d also like to hear from other sufferers

Gen · Guest

Hey Marie,

I have had agoraphobia for about 8 years. The first two years I couldn't even step out my door. I was married to a controlling guy who verbally as well as physically abused me. I managed to read a lot about this problem online and decided that I was going to try my best to get over it. After two years of suffering and taking baby steps I got over it. I thought I was cured and cried because I was so happy. I then got divorced and found myself almost homeless. My agoraphobia came back and I have been fighting it the last 6yrs. I know I got over it once and I can do it again. It's just harder this time because I have gotten married again and people are harder on me this time around. My family doesn't undertand it either. They always say to me"tell yourself you can do it and then you can" or "it's all in your head". The best thing they have found to work for agoraphobia is to take medication of course to help relax you when you do your desensitization tecniques. Basically, what I did the first time to get over this and what i'm trying to do this time. What I did was open my door and look out it everymorning for as long as I could. I would have a cup of tea in my hand and if anybody saw me I would just act like I was waiting for someone or admiring the weather. lol..After I felt comfortable with this I would take a chair and sit out on my porch for as long as I could. I would increase the time when I got completely comfortable with the time I spent out there. Then i started walking to my mailbox and everytime I felt completely at ease with the task i was trying to do I would increase the time or distance a little bit. This takes a lot of patience and self-reassurance since you can feel like you're not accomplishing a lot. It also takes alot of backbone because you can't jump one day and go much further then you are comfortable with because it will throw you back to the beginning. The reason I say you need a backbone is in my situation now people will guilt me into going somewhere that I'm not comfortable with yet and I will go only to get thrown back to square one. I realize that now and am trying to work my way out again. So far I can walk about 50ft to dump the garbage at my apartment and I can drive about a 1/4 of a mile to drop my daughter off at school and pick her up. I'm trying to keep myself going but you are right at times you can't help but mourn your old life and get very depressed. Good luck to you.

Guest

Chipper · Guest

Well, what can I say, but I found the right place. For about 6 months I have been having panic attacks, and thought it was some anxiety disorder. But it is not random at all.

Work and home. That's where I''m okay.

But standing in line at the grocery store, driving on the highway, sitting through a long red light, and the drive-thru are killing me.

I'm starting to write off a lot of places, because I associate them with panic. This is just soooo stupid! I know it's not real, but convincing my brain, that's the part I am going to work on.

After reading this, I know I am agoraphobic. Because no disease exists only when you are at Blockbuster, for God's sake.

I've decided to seek professional help.

I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that I'm right there with you.

Mikey · Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 4:51 pm Post subject:

I'm depressed and very socially anxious. I think I'm beginning to become agoraphobic.

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clairet · Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 6:00 pm Post subject:

FAO TESS: "I would really want to have an English-speaking therapist, and I'm not sure how to go about finding one here."

I live in the Paris region. Have you tried FUSAC magazine for Anglophones in France. It comes out fortnightly and is free. There are loads of English speaking therapists in there- could be pricey though, I'm not sure...

Danfalc · Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:13 pm Post subject:

someone_somewhere_on_here, you have a medical illness babe, you need to stop beating yourself up about needing someone with you when your out your not a baby at all.Your actualy quite brave in my opinion because your still going out even if someone is with you,I mean its easier just not to go out but your getting on with things.Anyways ill stop babbling at you and good luck with trying going out on your own.

Mysti · Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 1:56 pm Post subject:

I've suffered from agoraphobia on and off for the past 12 years. I've had some pretty horrible relapses over the time, the worst being in 2000.

My safe place is either my home or car which has made going out over the time tricky. I have always been rather choosy I guess, in where I can go. Shops have to be small so I can see an exit, yet with hardly any customers otherwise I get claustraphobic.
I always need to know that the car is nearby in case I have to get back to it quickly. My mum is really good nowdays and lets me keep the keys so I have that safety guard. I've always worried that I would be left, stuck somewhere on my own, so my mum is the only person I've trusted to take me places.
It's surprising just how few small shops there are nowdays which has limited my rehabilitation. Over the past few years, I stuck to local farm shops and garden centres and never visited places on weekends due to the fear of people.

8 months ago I realised my progress had started to go into reverse and so I basically put everything in life on hold in the hopes my panic attacks wouldn't get any worse. This has worked to a degree and it's given me the chance to take a step back and see what started to go wrong again but now I'm finding it hard to gear myself up for getting out again. The only time I go out now is for short drives in the car. I'm hoping to get back to horse riding as that has been one of the few constants in my life over the last 7 years, and has really helped me to be in a different environment yet still feel relaxed.

Making the first step is always the most difficult and it takes a lot of time and effort to make progress. People have always frowned over the fact I have suffered from this condition for such a long time but surely any progress made is good no matter how long it may take.
I must confess that getting out after so long is a fantastic feeling. It sends me scatty and puts me on a real high. I don't know if this is a reaction from the built up adrenaline or sudden release of tension but I just wish things were back to how they were 18 months ago when life was actually happy with a sense of normality, when I could still experience my hyperactive mood swings brought on from achieving something.
I am determined to get back to how I was then, but at the same time, the thought of a 'normal' life terrifies me. I worry that people will start to expect more from me and the pressure will put me back to square one again, I suppose that is maybe a side effect of having lived a certain way for so long. I guess we just have to persevere and try not to dwell on the worries in life - a pity that is so much easier said than done Confused

Shattered · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 5:30 am Post subject:

Marie,

Hi! I've been diagnosed with agoraphobia for a year now and severe social phobia for a while. I used to have a life relatively free of fear also. Last year I got so bad I kept leaving work and calling in and they made me go on sick leave for a month after which I could not return. I wouldn't even be in the same room as my fiance at that time or even my own mother. My brother I remember once came busting through the door and tried to carry me outside and I screamed and kicked until he put me down. I would not go outside. I would not see anyone. I know what you mean by safe zones. I only felt safe in a room alone (at home of course!) or in my car alone. I loved being in my car because it meant being TOTALLY alone as I lived in an apartment complex. I could drive and run away to anywhere I needed. Nothing keeping me from it. Of course the only place I ran to was the liquor store or to get whatever drugs I could get my hands on.

One day I fell in love with a user at SAUK that goes by the handle Drencrom. And heavily sedated, I abandoned my life here (I was already broken up and moved back in with my parents by this time) and flew to the UK to be with him. I liked myself better in Wales. I started to go out everyday. I liked more secluded places, I still got nervous in crowds. I was also drinking heavily at that time and could be around people if I was drunk or on some type of harder drug. Now that I'm back at my parents, Drencrom and I find ourselves being cut off from the world again.

I don't know if there's a cure for it or if I'll always inevitably cut myself off from the world. But I wish you luck and I want you to know you certainly aren't alone in this.

knightnarmor · Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 11:12 pm Post subject:

I have a tendency to be highly socially anxious but I always hide it and good at it. But I do have a residual of agoraphobia I think because everytime I leave my house, I dont feel safe eventhough I function it is with great difficulty.