I'm not even sure if I'm a social phobic anymore...

Flax

I'm not even sure if I'm a social phobic anymore. I read the topics in here and I start to reply and I realize I don't feel like it. I don't get nervous much anymore. Today we had a visit from the vice president of the corporation I work for (I'm a lowly associate in one of their stores) and I didn't care. I wasn't nervous or anxious about it. When I work out at my gym I no longer feel nervous about looking at people when they walk by. I don't feel uncomfortable when people get close either. Lately I've even had thoughts of moving out of my mom's house and usually I'll freak out at the thought and think about all the possible problems (realistic and unrealistic) that can happen. I play poker on a regular basis and when I used to play I got so nervous that my hands turned ice cold and I'd shake when I'd shuffle the deck of cards. Now I can bluff someone out without looking nervous or blushing.
I don't feel like posting here anymore, I guess I'll see you people some other time. I suppose I could explain my solution (even if temporary), but I'm not entirely sure why I'm not getting all anxious anymore. Maybe it's because I'm working out all the time and dieting, maybe it's because I got to a comfort zone in my life. No one breaths down my neck, I haven't had any problems at work for quite a while, no one is pressuring me to move on with my life, I suppose I feel ... good.
I hope you people can find your solutions and be happy in the future.

Orlando · Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 8:19 am Post subject:

Flax,

Good luck to you. I happy that you're better and sad that you're going. Everyone has their own path. Each one must make their own. Good luck, again!

_________________
-Orl

tillybud · Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 10:00 am Post subject:

Congratulations to you Flax... I wish you all the best in everything you do.
I hope you continue to gain confidence and that social anxiety is part of your past now.

All the best,
Tilly

Flax · Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 7:10 am Post subject:

Ah, who am I kidding? I have a long time to go before I'm totally free of my social anxiety burden. I suppose the real topic should have been called "I'm doing a lot better than I was two years ago." I am getting better and better, but I still have those times. Today I was at work and I was talking to a girl I work with about a movie and how I really wanted to see it, but would feel weird going alone. Right before she left she said she'd give me a call if she went to see the movie. I felt anxiety build up immediately. I was thinking of all the uncertainties of doing it would cause. I was thinking, what if her boyfriend comes along, would he be jealous and me being there cause conflict? Would we go to the movie alone and him find out about it and get angry. Would I go with her and her friends and I'd not know what to say to her friends? I even thought about making an excuse to not go even if she did call. ... man... that reminded me I have a long way to go til I get rid of my anxieties.
The thing is in addition to never having had a girl friend I've never in my life hung out with a girl as just a friend. I have hung out with my brother and his friends that are girls and have hung out with my guy friends with their friends that are girls, but I've never hung out with a girl myself.
My brother seems to have great charisma with women, he has always had as many friends who are girls as he has had guy friends. I don't really know what to talk about with women, I don't have any relationship experience and I have very few interesting stories to tell. Usually when I do bring up a subject I deliver it poorly with a lot of "Umms" and "Uhhs" and stammering. I need to work on that, it can't look good to people when I "Uhhh" everytime I'm in thought.

I probably won't post here very often, but I will continue to read people's posts. I think you people have helped me even though I don't take part in many topics. I think all SA sufferers can benefit from the advice and experiences in this forum.

Orlando · Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:06 am Post subject:

Hi, Flax.

I used to have trouble talking to women....however, I think I'm better at that now...The problem I have is talking to women I'm attracted to....Then I get all tongue-tied and all sorts-of-uncomfortable stuff....Yuck. All I can advise is be patient with yourself and keep taking those risk/chances that you're taking. It takes endurance and courage to do what you're doing....Going to work surrounded by people...That's tough especially for us....Keep on doing what you are doing.

Take it Easy!

_________________
-Orl