Joined: Sep 30, 2004 Posts: 758 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 12:36 am Post subject:
Louise82 wrote:
I was bullied alot at school for being a "geek".......*blush* (that is still embarrasing for me to admit).
It makes me angry when people use the term geek as an insult. You should be proud. Ok people use it in different ways but from what I have experienced they mostly mean people who do well at school or have a passion for something like Star Trek.
1) Yeah who wants an education? What the hell have smart people ever done for the world..... except inventing like almost everything..... pah it sure would be cooler to be living in caves, punching people. Ignorance rocks!!!
2) God forbid those morons who actually care about something. What this world needs is more indifference. Stop shining lights and curse the darkness!! Lets all sit around drinking pretentious coffee, wearing T-shirts that pretend to swear, criticising everything and everyone who gives a damn.
Ok rant over, sorry. I love pretentious coffee lol.
One way you might identify that a shy/social phobe boy likes you is that he trys to avoid you. I have done this. I may be interested in a girl, but realizing (realistically or not) that I haven't got a chance - I avoid her so that I won't grow more fond of her. Or, I rationalize this behavior by thinking that rather than put her through the pain and awkwardness of rejecting me, it would be kinder of me not to talk to her.
From my own point of view, the more annoying and loud you are, the more chances you get to actually hook up with someone. Sad but true. Looks (physique) actually don't matter that much in the end, because it is more a question of attitude than anything else.
Of course, most of us here share basically the same problem, that is to say, the lack of initiative. In my case it is a combination of this lack of courage with plain bad luck. The occasions where I have actually taken the initiative of asking a girl out on a date have not ended well. I have never succeded, not a single time. With each failure I get progressively more and more afraid, to the point of being completely terrified of rejection, since I know now that I do not deal good with it. The best I've ever gotten when it comes to relationships is the old "just friends" talk (aka the polite or "softer" rejection), which is not very promising.
Bad luck? Well, what I considere as bad luck is the fact that in the last couple of years, the places I've been attending (work and studies) are full fo people who is a bit older than I (I'm 24 right now) , so all of the women are already married or in long term relationships. Friendly people nonetheless, but for me it's not possible to remain friends with them outside the school or work enviroment. The times I have tried were quite unpleasant: Once I went to one of these women's house, and got the vibe that I wasn't welcome there (from her husband of course). On another occasion I got a similar invitation, I ended up in a meeting with other couples, that is to say I was the only single person there, so it was quite an uncomfortable experience. To sit there and watch these couples making out, or cuddling or just telling how happy the were together is just plain torture; it's like they're rubbing their love and happiness in your face.
Just to give you an idea of the thoughts I have in my head when I see a girl that seems interesting to me:
- "bah... she has a boyfriend or a husband for sure"
- "I have nothing to offer, why would she even considere talking to me"
- "she's already with her friends, how the hell am I going to grab her attention"
- "She'll tell me to f*ck off and laught at me if I try to start a conversation"
- "What the hell is wrong with me?"
- and so on...
Since I don't have any friends to hang out, I usually go out alone (if I do, which happens like once or twice a year), sit alone in the pub, drink my beer alone and walk back home alone...
I'm not only shy, I'm also pessimistic and bitter, because I can't even picture my life getting better anytime soon. I know I have possitive and desirable qualities, but well, I just don't know how to actually fix my life so I can become able to share all that with someone.
yeah, we can trade lives, although we'd both be left in exactly the same situation
seriously, it's only a matter of time before I pluck up the courage to put myself out of this miserable existence
and why is euthanaisa banned anyway? anyone who has experienced the life that i have would realise that euthanasia should be made as accessible and easy as possible
Joined: Sep 30, 2004 Posts: 758 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 2:27 am Post subject:
Pessimisten wrote:
Being an extremely shy guy SUCKS!!! BIG TIME!!!
From my own point of view, the more annoying and loud you are, the more chances you get to actually hook up with someone. Sad but true. Looks (physique) actually don't matter that much in the end, because it is more a question of attitude than anything else.
I don't think it's about being loud or annoying. I know it's hard but how can someone love a person they don't know. If you don't communicate (ick) or express yourself then there is nothing to attract people. Apart from maybe looks or a few people who might find you mysterious and be lured by curiosity. Or if they are telepathic.
I don't think it's about being loud or annoying. I know it's hard but how can someone love a person they don't know. If you don't communicate (ick) or express yourself then there is nothing to attract people. Apart from maybe looks or a few people who might find you mysterious and be lured by curiosity. Or if they are telepathic.
I agree with what you said, especially the telepathic part, but my problem is , even if I am talking to an outgoing woman, I feel like instead of her being an active participant in comversation, she is being passive in the conversation and sizing up my attractiveness from how well I converse. This evalutaion make me feel even more anxious and quiet.
of course nobody is suggesting that theres anything wrong with being a young parent or having children to more than one partner, if thats youre choice and path in life. right?
Sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone by my prehaps thoughtless comment but I was referring to girls who made my life hell at school!!.
Certainly these types WILL get the attention. Of course they might just get the approval of the girl just by being obnoxiusly persistent (to the point where the girl just say 'yes' to everything to make him shut up). When there's this sort of people in the place I get sort of intimidated and at the same time more reluctant to even try my luck. It's a sense that one gets overshadowed by these sort of clowns. But of course... I'm talking from my own point of view, which may not be quite realistic. After all, I'm not that much of a reasonable person when it comes to social interaction.
Joined: Apr 13, 2005 Posts: 1 Location: United States of America
Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:18 pm Post subject: Needs help with a shy man.
I am sooo glad I found this site. I am not a shy person and have recently become very attracted to a gentleman who is. I was bold enough to him give him my number. He hasn't made a move but continues to have all the classic signs of being interested. Should I ask him out on as specific date or would that just shy him away even more? He is worth the wait.
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