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Social Phobia World :: View topic - shy guys
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shy guys
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J
Intermediate User
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Joined: Mar 15, 2005
Posts: 104
Location: United States of America

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Needs help with a shy man. Reply with quote

bzygirl66 wrote:
I am sooo glad I found this site. I am not a shy person and have recently become very attracted to a gentleman who is. I was bold enough to him give him my number. He hasn't made a move but continues to have all the classic signs of being interested. Should I ask him out on as specific date or would that just shy him away even more? He is worth the wait.

Bzy


If he seems interested, but hasn't called due to SP, then by all means ask him out directly yourself. Smile Give him all the space he needs, tell him his shyness is OK, and help him work through things. Good luck!!

ps: maybe give him the URL to this site, too Wink

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maggie
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Joined: Mar 19, 2005
Posts: 1173
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think shy guys are sexier, more sensitive, and more humble. (good qualities!!) And in my little opinion Wink , I think they are more loyal and are much less likely to cheat on you. Guys that have too much confidence, outgoing, loud, do nothing for me.

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introvert
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Joined: Oct 15, 2004
Posts: 109
Location: Earth

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pessimisten, I am basically 100% in the same situation as you. The biterness certainly doesn't help also, making you seem like an unpleasant person on top of being anxious. Mad I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this one.

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J
Intermediate User
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Joined: Mar 15, 2005
Posts: 104
Location: United States of America

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

maggie wrote:
I think shy guys are sexier, more sensitive, and more humble. (good qualities!!) And in my little opinion Wink , I think they are more loyal and are much less likely to cheat on you. Guys that have too much confidence, outgoing, loud, do nothing for me.


I need to meet more ladies who think the same way as you! Too many gals seem to go for the alpha male (for my taste, at least LOL).

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Colin
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Joined: Apr 04, 2005
Posts: 66
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't want to impose a situation like that on a girl, not without her first making her intentions clear. How should a girl's true intentions be read though, I haven't a clue! Slipping a telephone number sounds like a mixed signal, how much deeper can conversation get over the phone, I would think if put in that circumstance. Maybe encounter this gentleman in private and then give him your signal.

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kattness
Intermediate User
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Joined: Apr 06, 2005
Posts: 166
Location: uk,brighton

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

maggie wrote:
I think shy guys are sexier, more sensitive, and more humble. (good qualities!!) And in my little opinion Wink , I think they are more loyal and are much less likely to cheat on you. Guys that have too much confidence, outgoing, loud, do nothing for me.



i agree 100% Very Happy the loudness of them just make me want to kick em in the nuts thousands of times!

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FruitLooPs
Intermediate User
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Joined: Nov 05, 2004
Posts: 112
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kattness wrote:
maggie wrote:
I think shy guys are sexier, more sensitive, and more humble. (good qualities!!) And in my little opinion Wink , I think they are more loyal and are much less likely to cheat on you. Guys that have too much confidence, outgoing, loud, do nothing for me.



i agree 100% Very Happy the loudness of them just make me want to kick em in the nuts thousands of times!


As much as I hear that, the reality *seems* to be different when on the rare occassion I go out to town clubbing. The louder more alpha stereotype guys I know attract women alot more.

Of course im not saying you're lying, rather that when I go out to town clubbing most of the girls there aren't looking for a shy guy I guess huh.

Communication is the key basically, I dont speak my more outgoing friends do - even if what they say or talk about is rubbish.

I guess its just a catch 22 situation for me, since im 19 and not too worried about not ever having a gf, whats more worrying is that i've had the opportunities and let them go past - and I dont see that changing. It's not that I dont want the relationship, its just I think im going to be 'wasting' the other persons time which i guess comes down to a self esteem issue. That and being the unknown im more content to let it slide and me wonder what would've been (man thats a stupid logic, similar to that other guys).

And with everyone that goes by I wish a little more that I would do something about it, but i'm happy/lazy/scared enough to stay the way I am which is OK for now. But in the long term I know i'll end up alot more depressed and sad if ive still never had a GF by my mid 20's or whatever.

Of course if I dont give it ago i'll never know what its like... problem being I dont see how Im going to mysteriously change and be in a situation where I know a person to ask out and feel confident enough to do it.. Confused I'm actually in a situation right now where I have one of those things (guess what it's not confidence haha).

wow what a rant, sorry. Shocked

I'll probably finally get the hang of it when im like 30 and wish i hadn't waited forever to get the courage to do it, since most ppl by then will be hitched or taken. I just dont want to end up bitter.

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Yossarian
Expert User
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Joined: Sep 30, 2004
Posts: 758
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 1:14 am    Post subject: Re: Needs help with a shy man. Reply with quote

bzygirl66 wrote:
I am sooo glad I found this site. I am not a shy person and have recently become very attracted to a gentleman who is. I was bold enough to him give him my number. He hasn't made a move but continues to have all the classic signs of being interested. Should I ask him out on as specific date or would that just shy him away even more? He is worth the wait.

Bzy


Well we are all different but personally speaking just drag him out somewhere. Take him by the scruff of the neck and tell him he's coming with you. It would work for me lol. Yeah if he's shy it will probably be best (or at least quicker) if you take the initiative.

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Fredscarecrow
Advanced User
Advanced User


Joined: Dec 11, 2004
Posts: 423

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

coffee sends me hyper. i dont drink it any more, so no-one meet me in a place and offer me coffee, ill spend the afternoon talking to lampposts-literally.


_________________
Truth is a whisper and only a choice
Nobody hears above this noise
Always a risk when you try and believe
I know there's so much more than me
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Yossarian
Expert User
Expert User


Joined: Sep 30, 2004
Posts: 758
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Talking to lamp posts isn't a very 'bright' idea...... Embarassed

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