been to lots of online dates sites, no nibbles

lifesnotfair

I have been trying to get into this online dating game, because right now, i am trying to find someone, like a lot of us are, however not ONE person is interested in me.. Even with my photo up and the descriptions saying all the right things, i am still not getting anywhere.. what more do i have to f***ing do, get plastic surgery to look like brad pitt?

I got myself a haircut, got myself new clothing, basically a whole makeover, however no women are interested in me. And please, don't tell me its because of what i am going through, if a women finds you attractive, they shouldn't really care, they probably think your're sensitive or something..

But i guess i am telling you that nothing works.. women are just not interested in me

J · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:10 pm Post subject:

Are you sending messages, or just sitting back and waiting for them to arrive? On most sites, there are very many more men than women, and you'll wait eons to get messages. Also, like in real life, many women prefer to be approached, instead of doing the approaching themselves. Try sending messages to them.

Don't take a lack of response on a personals site personally. Smile

Many sites out there really suck. Try several, especially good free ones like Plentyoffish or OKCupid.

You say your profile "says all the right things"? Look over it again, then, and make sure it won't strike an online-savvy lady as being 'fake' (even if it's 100% honest, it can seem fake....). Avoid telling what you THINK women want to hear--it's probably wrong! Wink

Also (just in general, i don't know if you do or not), don't talk about SA or any other problems/issues in your ad! Nobody's perfect, but noone else online is going to start "selling themselves" by listing their "drawbacks."

And be patient! Online dating isn't instant just because it's online. It's just another way of making contact, and gives a good chance to get to know someone before you meet them face-to-face. it's great bacuse then one is bound to be much less nervous upon finally meeting (in my experience, at least).

I've dated a bunch of ppl from several different online sites, and even had a three-year relationship with one person. I'm not Brad Pitt either. Wink

lifesnotfair · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:27 pm Post subject:

at least you have dated people.. I am telling you that girls reject me, they look at me and reject me..

kallinite · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 10:58 pm Post subject:

Hi! Which sites did you post profiles on? Maybe I can look and give you suggestions to help you, if you want. I'm not saying you need help, but maybe you can write some more things there that people will respond to. I go on dating sites too, and I used to have a lot of trouble thinking of things to say. OKCupid is a really good site for getting responses, especially since they added the Search By Interest section. People are a lot more willing to start a conversation with someone else if they even have one little thing in common. It's a lot more comfortable talking to someone when you already know you like one of the same things. At least it is for me. I'm done now. Sorry for bothering you.

lifesnotfair · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 2:43 am Post subject:

its not a bother...

ppaul · Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 12:09 pm Post subject:

hey lifesnotfair,

theres something you sould know about dating sites........men cant just sit there and expect replies.

its the way it works nd i dont like it anymore than you.

the fact is that it doesnt matter who you are or what you look like women will only respond to you if you write to them.

I put my name up on one ages ago and never got a single thing. until i actually wrote something to someone and got a reply (I'd written to about 7 or 8 already)

ended up meeting her (didnt turn out that well, but thats not my point) and she told me that she got over 20 replies to her ad in the first 2 weeks (she wasnt a stunning supermodel, just average).

unforunately not many women out there even search the profiles, they just choose from the many men who have contacted them.

so you gotta get writing.

so thats just the way it is and hating it wont change it. Men do all the chasing unfortunalely. I know lots of Politically Correct people are gonna reply to this saying that thats not the way it is. there are exceptions to this but thats all they are...exceptions.

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