Do you think that girls/guys are out to get you, and won't give you the time of day
Yes
36%
[ 13 ]
No
55%
[ 20 ]
Undecided
8%
[ 3 ]
Total Votes : 36
Author
Message
crashmodem Newbie User
Joined: Mar 14, 2004 Posts: 78 Location: Canada
Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2004 9:28 pm Post subject: Not going to get girls attracted to me
I know that i am not getting any girls interested in me, no matter what i try or do.
I listen to everyone else around me, saying they go to pubs and get stoned, and those guys or girls seem to be having all the fun, while the only fun that i have is with playing on my computer.
I do not like the social scene, i have never liked it. People chose to be around people they want to be around, they don't include people that are not welcome, nor do they help include "geeks" like myself into the socal circle with women and popularity.
I feel that nothing that i am going to do is going to make a difference. I have tried to make myself not think about the issue, however its really hard when you are surrounded by it every day, and saturized in the media about how how the jocks get the girls all the time.
You know, this does not encourage me to go out, or gain my confidence. This makes me more frustrated, angry, and depressed..
There is way too much sex and sexual themes on TV, which really disgusts me...
Joined: Mar 18, 2004 Posts: 5 Location: United States of America
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:51 am Post subject: girls
I can understand your frustration - I have had similar experience in that I was not able to interact with girls becuase I was not popular or included - I always seemed to be on the outside like people sensed that I was different and automatically rejected me. I have learned to live with that.
All I can say is there is someone for everyone but some people have to be patient I guess and of course you will most likely have to interact with people in order to meet and date a girl. But dont put so much pressure on yourself - women can be a pain in the butt anyway.
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:33 pm Post subject: Women
Yeah, hi.
I just want to say that most guys have issues (problems) with women. Most girls have issues (problems) with men. I think you have to be honest with yourself and find out exactly what you want and set out to achieve it. If you lack dating or social skills the only way to improve your situation is to take risks. I found the more I pushed myself to date women. The easier it became. You just have to take risks. With myself I dated Some girls just because I wanted to improve my communication and social skills. I always approached it as if I was just making a friend. Or if nothing else, chatting. I was rejected many times. After a while you can develop a resilience to this. I improved enormously and got better at superficial chat. I always asked open ended questions and spent a lot of time just listening. My psychiatrist told me once, that the number one thing people love to talk about is themselves. This is so true. I had girls telling me their life stories and boring me to tears. Some didn't shut up. Others shared the conversation evenly. Medication helped me alot with my social phobia. However you still have to just do it. You can only improve. Behavioural therapy is very effective. Apparently the more we do things regardless of what they are our brains form complex connections between the neurons as we do. Making whatever we do easier the second, third, etc, times we do them.
Good luck
Joined: Nov 26, 2003 Posts: 117 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 7:14 pm Post subject:
I'm not liking the pesimistic attitude on this post.
To be ableto geton wth anyone you have to be aalright with yourself.
People concept of fun isdifferent.
The reason you hate socailizing so much is because of experince you've had.This has nothing to do with who you are. Stay true to yourself, why be anyone else they are just as floored. Why should talking to people be a issue. Chanllenge yourself FACE your FEAR with practice it will come.
Yes wpomen do like confidence but be realisitc there are some overly confident stick up wankers that treat people like shit.
You don't have to be liked be everyone.
Its a state of mind, looking at aperfet life will get you no where live yours ,deal with it, keep going. LIfe is what you make it!
And for Jthompsons remark, if i saw you in person, i would knock your teeth down your throat. Do you get kicks out of telling people to kill themselves. No matter if you are using some sort of demented psychology on me.
Everything seems to complicated and too confusing for me to handle. If the women wants to talk to me, lets make it simple, let the girl come up to me. And you might all be thinking that i will never get a girlfriend that way, but since i don't have any interests, i don't go out because i have a real stressful job, and i need the time to wind down, i don't see too much promise do you?
_________________ Thats My two cents (including tax)
Joined: Apr 22, 2004 Posts: 9 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Fri May 07, 2004 8:29 pm Post subject:
Crashmodem,
You really have to lose this attitude for your own sake!
There are lots of women out there who would like to get to know you but not all have a crystal ball to find you you will have to join a club or similar to get to know people and then you will make friends, who knows, maybe if it's a male friend you make he might have a sister!
No need to get aggresive crashmodem! JThomson was obviously joking and bringing some light entertainment to the topic! Geez you gotta lighten up man no wonder youre depressed.. I think plenty of people in this forum (including myself) need a little humor every so often it keeps us sane
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you will have to join a club or similar to get to know people and then you will make friends, who knows, maybe if it's a male friend you make he might have a sister!