Introduction

Jimbo · Guest

Hi, this is the first time I've ever mentioned my SA to anyone. Anyway here is my story, please give me some advice...

I'm 31, male, married, and have always been labelled as "shy". Luckily I've been blessed with good looks (not bragging, just being honest) which has really helped me be successful getting girlfriends, and jobs. I recently got a Masters degree, and somehow made it through giving a presentation in every class (12 of them). The wierd thing is, one of the presentations I was very calm and confident throughout, all of the others I was way too nervous, to the point that afterward I couldn't remember a single word I said. I really wanted to quit this program several times, but my wife talked me out of it. I basically made it through the program by telling myself that my life will be better after I get a masters, and I didn't want anyone to know I have an anxiety problem. I used to think that a higher degree in science would prove to my peers that I'm smart and that would give me confidence - no such luck.

My SA really became apparent in college about 10 years ago, this is when that sinking feeling set in when just talking to friends & family, before that it only happened sometimes when speaking in front of large groups, I was always reserved, but didn't have the heart pumping nervous feelings. Anyway, I got out of the public speaking class in college by taking a CLEP exam.

I now have a job I've always dreamed of having, I'm a scientist at a national lab. I've been here a year and still get extremely nervous at meetings. One thing that has started happening over the past year, that never occurred before is sweaty armpits. I sit through these meeting anticipating my turn to speak, and by the time the meeting is over my pits are dripping - it's disgusting and embaressing. It also happens when I get nervous just talking to someone, and the more I think about it the worse it gets! I really think my job performance is suffering because of my anxiety - I don't talk to people I should talk to, and don't bring anything up in meetings, even if I have a really good idea (even though this isn't often because I can't even think straight during meetings).

Anyway, sorry this is so long - I could go on forever with examples of situations where anxiety overwhelms me. I've done some other freaky sh*t due to anxiety that if I heard of someone else doing it I would think - what a freak (no offense to anyone, just a figure of speech).

I've thought about seeing a doctor, but I don't even know what kind of doctor to see (just any old psychiatrist?), and I'm really embaressed to admit to my wife that I have this problem.

Any help is appreciated. - Jimbo

Guest · Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 12:07 am Post subject: Re: Introduction

Guest · Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 1:35 am Post subject:

Hi Jimbo...
What a SAD story, and not just a pun on words, either. Finally someone afflicted with anxiety that reached their goal(s) despite all the herendous road blocks and detours, and then to still be plagued with similar struggles. Sad

I've got to tell you, I'm certainly am impressed and envious of your determination, that had to be one -ellish journey!

Do you have a family Dr. that you can trust, that keeps your medical visits private? I would suggest seeing the Dr. for something to calm your nerves, anxiety... maybe if you afraid to open up, you could print off your post here and show it to him/her?

Best of luck, Jimbo

You know, perspiration is every bit as embarrassing and a problem as blushing or shaking.... and no one "EWWWWWWWWed" any of those posts. Why are trying to make the guy feel worse than he already oviously already does? Question

shep · Posted: Sat May 08, 2004 4:15 am Post subject:

I agree with all that guest has said. The only thing I can think of to add is that you may want to reconsider your thoughts on telling your wife. My guess is that she would feel that you can and should confide in her on this or any other serious problem. If ther situation were reversed, wouldn't you want her to go to you? Anyway, I know that this is not an easy subject to talk about and it is not easily understood by those who do not share this problem. I wish you well in however you handle this.

Alternator · Posted: Sun May 09, 2004 8:30 pm Post subject:

Just wanted to congratulate you Jimbo. I dont even think you realize it, but what you did was fantastic. 12 speeches!!! Thats a freaking record for a SAD sufferer. You should pat yourself on the back. Keep in mind that just going to these meetings is a successful experience. You're not letting the anxiety control your life. Congrats.
I dont know if this might work, but why dont you try carrying an antiperspirant with you?

Jimbo · Guest

Thanks a lot alternator and shep for your words of encouragement. The ewwwwww person is right, it is gross! but they can also piss off! I know I don't have nearly the problems others on this forum have - I wish you all the best of luck. Some posts I've read about suicide are very sad, if you're in this boat - don't do it, you'll be able to live with this if you try new things daily - you'll find a place where you fit in.

Something I try to do is be myself no matter what, if thoughts come into my head of what someone else is thinking about me, I try to suppress those thoughts and think about something else (like breathing properly). When this is successful, life is great. Sometimes when the pressure is too high I can't overcome, but am confident that someday I will be able to always suppress those thoughts. I hope this helps some of you.

Jimbo