other people!!!

LA323 · Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 2:41 am Post subject: other people!!!

do any of u feel that alot of people dont like u, cuz i do. i try to relax,not really look at people in the eye, just mind my own business, and try to walk confident , but when i do this, ppl just think im arrogant and that i feel like im better than them and stuff, and they think i dont wanna talk to them. 4 example the other day i went 2 a friends funeral cuz his grandfather had just passed away, so i went in there, trying to feel relaxed and stuff, and i was just looking forward and no one else. All day i didnt see my friend in the funeral, but when i left, some1 had told me that he was in there the whole time, and that i didnt even say hi, so after this i felt sooooo fuked up, and i fell like he hates me ever since, so i dont know what to do.......if i try to relax, i come across as arrogant and an asshole, but if i dont relax, well we all know what happens,,, so im really mad at this. do any of u feel like this cuz this happens 2 me ALOOOOT !!!

shep · Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 4:57 am Post subject:

Appearing to be arrogant or standoffish is one of the tragedies of sp. Needless to say, you were not comfortable at the funeral and instead of looking shy or ill at ease, you come off as standoffish when nothing could be further from the truth. Sitting there and looking forward is a coping technique when climbing under the rug or a table, though more effective, would hardly help in trying to look more relaxed and at ease. If you were truly relaxed there, you would have looked around for your friend and walked over to him and when you did not, it prompted their false impression. What's more, even another sp person could misread arrogance instead extreme shyness. Anyway, maybe you can try to explain things to your friend somehow. Good luch LA.

LA323 · Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 5:04 am Post subject:

thanks Shep!!!!! u sound REALLY cool, and u really understand things, thanx 4 replying, well Good Luck to u also, from a friend !!!!!!!

Jeeves · Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 7:38 pm Post subject:

Maybe he was chatting with someone and didn't even see you. Confused

_________________
It's all good!

maggie · Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 10:07 pm Post subject:

i feel like most people think i am really snobby or rude, cause i am not good at small talk, avoid going out socially with them, avoid talking to them if i see them out somewhere...even sometimes someone says "hi" and for some reason, i can't even spit out response Shocked

so i probably look like a freak

Jeeves · Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 10:38 pm Post subject:

Actually, one thing that might (might) help is that they are probably just as concerned about things going on in their life. Don't worry about how they view you. They might be just as occupied with wondering how you view them, and hoping that you won't notice they put mismatched socks on today. Wink

Don't focus on yourself and how other people are viewing you, cause chances are, they aren't focusing on you like that.

_________________
It's all good!

Dragonfly · Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 9:42 am Post subject:

Yeah I get exactly the same response, one girl at work even came up to me once and asked me if I thought I was better than everybody else because I don't really speak to them much, i felt so awful, its so not the case, the total opposite in fact. I was so mad at her being so insensitive because she knows Im shy anyway, think some people just get off on making you feel worse im sure.

Jeeves · Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 6:02 pm Post subject:

Frank Sinatra "Some people get their kicks stompin on a dream. But I don't let it, let it get me down. Cause this...world, keeps spinnin round"
Something like that. Laughing

_________________
It's all good!

chacha85 · Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 5:38 pm Post subject:

The same thing happens to me all the time. People always think that I'm stuck up or just rude because I dont talk to them or because I might seem uninterested when they are talking to me. I can understand why people form these kind of misconceptions but it still sucks to hear things like that.