Another personal story about SA

Flax · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2004 7:00 am Post subject:

I don't really have any advice since I can't fix my own problems. But I am similar to you in that I haven't had a girlfriend, I haven't had sex, kissed anyone and the most intimate was hugs I would get by this one girl in high school. I think I may be different in that I probably had a shot with several girls, but I was afraid. I mean you at least attempted to ask a girl out, I never came remotely close. I never come a million miles near remotely asking women out. I'm twenty-one and I feel like if I just have one girl that I like ask me out and we date for a little while then I could at least say I've had a girlfriend. I avoid conversations about sex, dating, and the sort like it is my executioner. I know I would reply extremely honestly if I were ever asked about my love life, but I'm afraid of what they will think or respond with. I can recall one time a guy in one of my classes said, "Hey that girl over their likes you." I thout he was full of sh** and said "yeah right." But I glanced over at her a few times during the year and caught her looking at me with a smile. I have had a few situations like this and every time it's happened I got nervous and did something to escape the situation. I then think about what happened and say to myself over and over, "They didn't really like you why would they like you?" Eventually I see the girl that liked me with another dude, and I think, man I really screwed that up.
I always think about the past and I say to myself if I could go back with what I know now and relive the experience then I would have gone out with many girls. Heh, then what is stopping me from going out with girls now? F****d up isn't it (social anxiety).

toeknee · Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 3:41 pm Post subject:

Has anyone here thought about internet dating? I tried all the other ways of trying to get dates with girls but I just found it impossible. On the internet you can chat to girls online without any pressure and get to know them and this goes for women aswell!
Through self help books and therapy I have achieved some pretty impossible things for someone who is shy. For example I can eat out alone in resturants and even go to pubs on my own sometimes. Of course I stick to the country pubs, not the really loud town pubs with lots of people. But at the same time I still feel some anxiety about talking to people and especially when I'm out with my friends. I feel really awkward dancing and look like a zombie when I'm on the dance floor. I see all these other people making fools of themselves with very little grace I still can't let myself go! When i go out with a large group of people, and with friends of friends, it can be so difficult because I don't know where to turn to because people start mingling and I'm left on my own. Heaven forbid I should try and make a conversation with someone new because they will not like it. But then again why would they? The last time I was out with my female friends I was making a conversation with this girl and I thought I was doing really well! But there came a point when she turned away from em and started talking to someone else. Later in the night they were all on the dancefloor but I didn't really feel like dancing because I knew I would be criticised for the way I was dancing. Because I remember when I was out with 2 female friends of mine in Nightclub. I was trying to dance with them and one of them the not so nice one said "are you dancing or are you just standing there?" I felt so small and went of the dance floor. But its interesting I have noticed lots of other people in clubs and dancing on their own because it looks like they're enjoying themselves!