A Place to Introduce Yourself

ScaredGirl · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 2:08 am Post subject: A Place to Introduce Yourself

Hi All,

There was no place to introduce myself when I first came here so I kinda jumped in and felt kinda awkward for it so I thought I would start this post.

So here goes. I've had SA pretty much since the earth was still warm. time. I relate to ALL your stories and am amazed/grateful to everyone for being here. It was desperation that brought me here and joy I have found since coming.

SG

karinatwork · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 2:59 am Post subject:

Great Idea! I want to introduce myself too, I have been on here since last night. And I found someone right away who was kind enough to spend some time reading about my troubles.
I'm 37, married with one little boy who has literally been dropped into my lap from heaven. My life seems normal, except for when I am home. Then I get anxious, I hide behind my curtains and blinds and live with earplugs in my ears.
I don't know what my problem is yet, at first I have been diagnosed with OCD but I think they're wrong, tomorrow I'm going to see a new doctor and we'll see. I keep you all posted.

Anyway - I'm glad I found this place. Thanks for being here.

Karin

Pearl · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 7:46 am Post subject:

I haven't introduced myself either. I have had social phobia my whole life, well it started severely affecting me at about 10 and l'm 28 now, a mixture of genetics from my dad and the environment l grew up in (not knowing my place in my family with older confident half brothers and sisters and a messed up dad). High school was like jail, l didn't exist, l guess l'm still trying to realise l have a RIGHT to exist and deserve what everyone else has. I don't work, haven't had a boyfriend, have no friends and great difficulty maintaining any r'ships, and life is just a struggle. I think a really supportive therapist would do wonders for SPers, but my current one is not too knowledgeable in it, so l leave thinking maybe l'm making stuff up to get attention or l'm blowing things up. But l get home, and go over all the anxiety and difficulties l have that seriously hinder me and l know this is a real problem. I'm giving her up. Facing things is really hard, l feel so ashamed and guilty telling my therapist things, so usually l leave out the most embarrassing parts.
You two inspire me Very Happy

as you're both in rships which seems a dream to me, cos l don't even meet guys right now.

Nightshade · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:42 am Post subject:

Hi Scared Girl

Yes, I found it was difficult and I didn't know how to introduce myself here. I've thought it would be nice to have a thread that people could introduce themselves in. So thanks for starting this.

It would be really nice if it was a "sticky" thread (ie always at the top of the page), but we don't seem to have them here.

Karinatwork - the anxiety you sounds like something I had for couple of years (as a teenager). I would panic when I was home alone, even for fine minutes during the day when it was at its worst. Night was worst, closing the curtains once it was dark terrified me and when I went to bed at night I would totally freak out at every noise. This will sound a bit bizarre, but I spent nearly a year sleeping in my mother's bed every night because I was so terrified. The thing I felt I was afraid of was people breaking in to the house, but I rationally knew that my fear was totally out of proportion.

I never got treated, but gradually I improved and I'm totally over it now. Still got social anxiety problems but maybe I can beat those too. I would imagine that similar techniques would work for the different types of anxiety so hope they help you.

Pearl, I've never had a boyfriend either and I'm 33 so I can understand where you are coming from, although I have a job and friends so I'm lucky there. It is sad that your therapist doesn't seem to be helping - have you thought about doing some reading on the subject yourself? I found social anxiety CBT books really useful, especially Gillian Butler's book "Overcoming social anxiety and shyness".

Anyway, I've been here a while now so think I can maybe say welcome to you all.

Very Happy

yousef · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:43 am Post subject:

Hello people.

I'm a new member here (a 20 year old guy) and your post came just in time ScaredGirl! After looking around a bit I'm quite surprised that many of the posts (questions) here describe EXACTLY the problem(s) I have. I've had SP ever since I remember (i.e. since I was a little kid). I find it very hard to communicate with people I don't know. With my close friends it may be better than with other people but I still don't talk much with them and I'm usually a "silent" person (unless they talk/ask, and I reply).

I prefer to spend most of my time "out of sight", or in other words, at home. I do go out with some of my friends but I just hate it when meeting someone new or going to crowded places ...etc. To me, it just feels wrong being in such a situation.

It's much easier for me to communicate online, like I'm doing right now because I feel I have a little bit of privacy, but though, my communication is still limited, like for example, when I chat with a friend (using instant messaging) I rarely talk unless I have to respond to something he/she said.
If someone says "Why are you silent? Say something" my answer is usually, if not always, this: "I don't have anything to say... what do you want me to talk about?".

Besides, just like some other people posted, I find myself having trouble in many other things/situations, like eye contact for example. I can't look at someone in the eyes for more than 4-5 seconds (when I'm talking to them, that is).

I don't know how shyness is related to SP, but when there's "focus" on me, I do get red (blush), and if someone points that out, it gets even worse. Besides, my heart keeps beating faster and faster, and it just feels soooooo uncomfortable in that situation.

I just want to be free, I want to do everything I want, but I just can't. In many times, I have great opportunities to meet new people and have a lot of fun (well, I'm obviously talking the way a "normal" (who has no SP) person thinks), like a school trip or a party or whatever, but I just don't go. I feel a little bit excited at the beginning but the sooner the time comes, the more I feel I want to hide (because of what I mentioned above).

Well, this was a quick introduction to me (and my problems) and I hope to see some tips on what I should do. I've seen other tips on this forum, like trying to talk to two strangers a day (students at school, neighbors, ..etc). And as a matter of fact, this is like a big challenge to me. I know it sounds stupid, but for me this is really something difficult.

(And, sorry for throwing out my problems in "not-so-good" English. My native language isn't English but I tried to use descriptful words and good paragraph formatting/oredering).

Thanks for the time you spent reading my post.

invisiblegirl · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:51 pm Post subject:

Yello all, 22 yr old female from NY here, just signed up with the site figuring it couldn't hurt to join the ranks . I sometimes feel like I'm the only social-phobic in the world so sites like this give me at least a little bit of relief in my rather relief-lacking life.
I've had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember but the point it really began to inhibit me was perhaps at aged 11-12, middle school years. I ceased making friends(perhaps had a temporary one maybe once a year) and pretty much isolated myself in my room...as I do now some 10-11 years later Embarassed

. I was harassed constantly and going to school was such a big struggle I would cry many mornings. My academics also suffered because my anxieties distracted me and when I struggled I was to fearful of seeking assistance from the teacher or a tutor.

I started receiving therapy around aged 16 and have been on medication but not to much avail. I barely graduated high school(after receiving 'special placement' amongst emotionally unstable students) and have been living with my mom totally housebound and pretty much doing nothing since then. I'm not able to get a job, some schooling and I'm as dependent on my mom as ever aside from finances since I was placed on SSI in high school...which was meant to only be temporary but I'm not so sure anymore as its impossble to have hope that I'll change. I'm also dependent on social workers as they get me into occasional 'life advancement' type programs to help me gain independence, but I've failed at all of them. Failure is of course something I'm used to. If anyone ever thinks they're entirely hopless, at least keep in mind that you're not me. Confused

Anyway, I'm glad this site is here.

LittleMissScareAll · Expert User Joined: Jun 15, 2005 Posts: 713 Location: Hell

I'm 21, and I guess I've always had social phobia...I wasn't diagnosed with it until a year or so ago, but when I was a kid I only saw one therapist who didn't seem to care about my problem and seemed very uneducated(well none of them have really seemed to care but that one never really tried to explain anything to me, he just made me feel stupid by asking the same question a bunch of times: "Why don't you like being around people?")
But I remember even a long time ago I never liked being around people and I've always been really nervous around people, except my parents. When I first started kindergarten(the first time I really had to be alone with strangers) I always used to cry, not wanting my mom to leave me...and that went on all year. And it never stopped...of course as I got older, I stopped crying for my mom/wanting to go home, but the nervousness never went away and I very often felt like crying but of course I held it back. When I got in high school I had to be homeschooled due to my nervousness from social phobia, and due to the other kids bullying me(which just made it a billion times worse on me--I'll never understand why people are so cruel. Sometimes I feel that I'm not human because I've never fit in anywhere and I imagine that I never will)...so anyway, homeschool helped me ALOT for those years, but now I've graduated and I have to work so now things are really hard on me again and I don't know what to do. Confused

Nightshade · Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:57 am Post subject:

Hi Yousef, Invisiblegirl and LittleMissScareAll

I'm glad you have all found this site and know that you are not alone in this.

Welcome.
Very Happy

blubs · Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:55 pm Post subject: Hello

I am new to this site and I just wanted to say 'Hi' to everyone. I am 31 and have had social phobia since I was at secondary school. It is quite severe and has affected what I do in life. I am not working because of it and I spend a lot of time by myself.
I have been reading some of the comments and stories people have put forward and it is nice to hear things I relate to. I have never met anyone who has had similar experiences before. So I wanted to say 'thanks' to anyone who's comments I may have read for having the courage to be honest about themselves, it makes me feel a little bit more courageous too.
I would love to make some friends on this site-so I just wanted to introduce myself
Hope everyone is doing okay today
blubs

cosmo · Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:13 pm Post subject:

heyhey just feel onto this site after yet another non verbal depressing day at work..glad to have found this place..gonna have to do some crazy reading and maybe drink some brewhas cause damnit im out of weed....well just want to say hello to everyone.. im a shy 20 year old homophobic? living in a single apt for another year in this crap state of vermont.. i dont know what the hell i suffer from but its not fun. . cant make any eyecontact..always thinking someone/something is watching..extreme lonelyness..paranoia..always thinking way to much about what others are thinking...cant make complete sentences when speaking..very very nervous when speaking to someone when others are watching..talk to myself..when mind is set to do something it must be done even if other things come up, so get outta my way! haha....um ive never had a girlfriend..but had 2 girl friends in highschool who i never speak to but i guess they are worried..
but i was wondering if anyone else is affected by music as much having maybe the same symptoms as me..as far as Jimi Hendrix goes my mind is totally blown away and im out somewhere else when listening..i recently picked up the guitar last year and blew myself away..i can speak/talk musically through the guitar and hit some insanley depressing knotes that jarble the ol gulliver as with jimi. . just wondering if this has happened to anyone else...if so ..wanna join a band? haha cause damnit i suck at life