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blubs Advanced User


Joined: Jun 09, 2005 Posts: 334 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:12 pm Post subject: Sexual Banter |
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Hiya
This morning I was taking my dog out for a walk...and I had to walk past a group of men, who were fishing. They started chatting to me..in a friendly way. Then one caught a tiny fish and shouted at me.....
"HEY LUV......IS IT TRUE SIZE DOESN'T MATTER??!!"
So...Does anyone else find this kind of thing mortifying, not funny??
I get so nervous if I see a group of men I Know I'll have to walk past.
Are men like this the world over, or is it particularly English??
Any Thoughts?
Blubs
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fiona Newbie User


Joined: Jun 08, 2005 Posts: 40 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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Well it depends who I am with but the women I work with are far worse than any men and have scared a couple of new women away! It doesnt bother me at work but it would with men I dont know as some men can be creepy
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blubs Advanced User


Joined: Jun 09, 2005 Posts: 334 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Fiona
Thanks for your reply
I get just as nervous if it is women.....but I'm never in a place anymore where there is a big group of people and a lot of banter going on.
So I guess perhaps the difference is that men will just yell stuff at a woman on her own.
Any idea how to deal with it??
blubs
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maggie Elite User


Joined: Mar 19, 2005 Posts: 1173 Location: Canada
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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hey blubs, i would find that annoying as well ...i can never think of a clever comeback in the moment...so i would probably just choose to ignore it...act like i didn't hear anything
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Chilling__Echo Moderator


Joined: Feb 10, 2005 Posts: 1831 Location: United States of America
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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hey blubs i know what you're talking about. one time i was walking to my room in a hotel and there were all these constuction workers on on the balcony and they were drinking (not yet drunk though) and laughing. they all get quiet when i walk up (of course my room had to be right next to them) and they were like "how you doing" polite and everything. then this one guy points to the other and said to me "don't worry, i'll keep this one away from ya" in a sexual way. i was also mortified and didn't say anything, just walked in my room.
however i've found myself sitting on buses or sitting in class perfering to sit next to a guy than a chick b/c overall, most guys don't do crap like that and of the two sexes, chicks tend to be more gossipy and pay more attention to people like what they're wearing, how they act, etc.
but yeah i don't know how to deal with it. i guess just threaten them with harrassment 
_________________ cylnsthefluttrby@hotmail.com
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fiona Newbie User


Joined: Jun 08, 2005 Posts: 40 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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I get nervous because of my hearing problem it is a hundred times worse if anyone has to repeat themselves especially if it's rude!! But best thing is to just laugh then change the subject or if you can think of something funny give as good as you get 
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black_mamba Elite User


Joined: May 09, 2005 Posts: 1409 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:04 am Post subject: |
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| blubs wrote: | This morning I was taking my dog out for a walk...and I had to walk past a group of men, who were fishing. They started chatting to me..in a friendly way. Then one caught a tiny fish and shouted at me.....
"HEY LUV......IS IT TRUE SIZE DOESN'T MATTER??!!"
So...Does anyone else find this kind of thing mortifying, not funny??
I get so nervous if I see a group of men I Know I'll have to walk past. |
That sounded like a fairly innocent comment compared to some of the stuff I hear around my area. Something like that (unless it was shouted agressively) I would just smirk at and walk away.
But yeah, I feel very intimidated by large groups of men. And rightly so. If they're not screaming out some lewd comment they're beeping their horn or simply staring at you, having a conversation with their friend about how much you'd get out of 10. Makes me sick, they could at least hide the fact this goes on.
Funnily enough the comments stop completely when you appear to be male. I pulled it off one summer when I chopped all my hair off. 
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GettingThere Advanced User


Joined: Jan 02, 2005 Posts: 461 Location: Australia
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:29 am Post subject: |
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There is a bit of a mars/venus thing operating through this thread.
Clearly we guys operate in a different manner - generally - to you girls. I have never quite understood why women get so uptight over suggestive comments from guys after they themselves speak to each other in lewd tones about guys and their experiences. I'm not knocking, just making an observation based on a lot of experience.
The mars/venus thing is real and I guess that women have certain behavioural stuff which guys detest too.
Having said that, I would add that for someone who suffers from SP it must be hard to deal with such attention from strangers. I extend my sympathy but I can't offer any advice in respect to handling it.
_________________ Two men look through the same bars, one sees mud the other sees stars.
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black_mamba Elite User


Joined: May 09, 2005 Posts: 1409 Location: United Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:58 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I have never quite understood why women get so uptight over suggestive comments from guys after they themselves speak to each other in lewd tones about guys and their experiences. |
Your generalising about women. A lot of us find this sort of behaviour very threatening especially if we are on our own when it happens. I don't understand how you don't understand why this can be scary. 
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Angie_05 Advanced User


Joined: May 16, 2005 Posts: 328 Location: United States of America
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:36 pm Post subject: |
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The sexual comments from men don't always bother me. It really depends on the circumstances. Like if they are teenagers just trying to impress their friends by showing off their wonderful vocab skills, I just laugh at ignore it. I grew up with a group of 15 boys always hanging around my street and learned ignoring it is the best thing. When I tried to talk back, I got a lot more aggressive behavior.
If the men are grown, like 30+ years old, there is no excuse for it and it is scary. I'd ignore them too. I get this a lot when I am driving. It is really freaky when they pull up next to you at a stoplight and the window is down. I just turn up my music and act like they aren't worth my attention.
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