A Place to Introduce Yourself

Scrabbl · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 15, 2005 Posts: 102

Hi there. I want to make a formal introduction of myself like other people did. like MPS I had been a semi-lurker for 1 year too. I know being a lurker is bad since I don't contribute. I have been afraid to just be myself and let others know me because I'm afraid that other people may not like me. K where can I start?

I think my SP is partly from my grandpa and partly the envronment I grew up in. I've been shy since the 2nd grade. It got worse when I moved from China to Canada. That's when I started to feel like an outsider trying to figure out how this world works. I tried to explain the world with some crazy theories. And my SA just got worse and worse until I found out about SA in an accidental google search. My life has been constantly changing since then. And I'm not talking about hormone/ mood changes. It's the behavior patterns. Things got better when I got a psychologist around 13 but I was so scared of people that I quit seeing the psych after a few months. SA got a little better (or: i got better at controlling it) but I still have it (Now 15 yrs of age. ) The major problem I'm working on right now is communicating with people. In the past I tend to 'copy' people . i.e. when I meet someone, I try to act like that person. e.g. if he is a talkative person I'd try to be as talkative; if he's a quiet person I'd be quiet too but there's one exception, that is 'awkward silence' are absolutely not tolerable, i avoid it as much as possible. This whole thing means that I don't get to be myself. and just do thigns I don't want to do for the sake of pleasing others... I'm going off topic.

Yousef, I'd like you to know that your English is good. I could understand everything you wrote. I'd guess that most SP people learning english as a 2nd language like myself would have a good written-English but a poor spoken-English.

O ellesor you are a graphic designer? Awesome. That's what I wanted to be a while ago. I thought it's a cool profession because I can work at home: people would send emails telling me how they want their site to be like and I'd design it for them. And they would pay via paypal...

One interesting thing I think most of you guys have done is: record your voice with a microphone and then play it back to hear it. If you haven't done that yet try it! improving your talking skills and self-esteem would be only good for you.

O and black_mamba I agree, the sims are an awesome game genre for SAers.

PhantomPod · Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:37 am Post subject:

Hey all,

I'm an 18 year old female. I'm going into my first year of college this fall, so I've just recently gotten really serious about trying to make a change in my life and try to overcome my shyness.

I don't want to be that super outgoing person who's always the life of the party, I just want to be able to voice my opinions and stop worrying so much about what others are thinking of me or worrying that my face is turning red when I am talking to someone.

I blush A LOT, everytime the attention's turned towards me or someone starts talking to me or asks me a questions. I hate the feeling of my face heating up, but I've realized that it's really something that I have no control over and I really have to just accept it for what it is.

I've been shy and very quiet all of my life. I barely spoke a single word to my preschool and kindergarten teachers and was always the quiet girl in the back of the class (part because my last name is at the end of the alphabet and because I always wanted to sit towards the back as if to hide back there) all throughout my schooling. I don't want to be like that in college. I want to make a change in my life.

ScaredGirl · Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:04 am Post subject:

Bringing this thread to the top for newbies

Stormy4022 · Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 6:26 pm Post subject:

Hi all
I am new here as well. I have had SP for a long time. No one knew what was wrong with me nor could they even understand. It is very hard to tell others what is wrong with me. I am lucky enough that my husband does understand. I am going to see someone about it next week. Getting real help was something i have avoided and now i am to the point i can not even hold a job down. I can not even go to walmart or even out to eat. Anywhere there is people i freeze up then run. Like some of you out there i have seen people in the past and i was just put on medicine no real therapy. I just hope that the person i am going to see can offer some help and listen.

Remus · Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:22 pm Post subject:

*important thread stickied*

Cryptolysergick · Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:25 pm Post subject:

Well what can I say? I was given a dumb name at birth (Angel), I struggle with my inner genius that just doesnt want to stay in me, umm and I think people here dont really like me, or think im annoying.I am also 18 years old.

_________________
aim:Eggsandwich10 (someone contact me im lonely! i dont smell too bad!)

Mellow_Mik · Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:40 pm Post subject:

Hello everyone,

I don't know if I have SP, but I don't care- SP is just a label, and I try to avoid labels and their limiting effects. All I know is, there are certain times when I feel a crippling fear, and I think that this is what brings us all together here. In my case, I feel this fear especially in school (I'm still in highschool), where presentations, group discussions, and group readings have become living nightmares- I panic, overwhelmed by an irrational, stupid fear... I start shaking, uncontrollably, from my head down all the way through my body, I sweat rivers, my voice quakes so that I can barely speak... Afterwards, I refuse to forgive myself, and often fall into deep depressions in which I would welcome death if it came upon me.

I have come to this site for two reasons. Firstly, to roll back this advancing fear (it seems to be flooding into other areas of my life), and secondly, to master it completely. Together, I think this we can do this. I understand there are many approaches to dealing with such fears, and have learned from experience that they don't always work (I have been failed by two therapists). However, I believe that there is a method for everyone- no matter how many things you have tried, no matter how many approaches have discouraged you, there is still a way. For me, I know that if nothing else, as a last resort, becoming a monk and studying in meditation for ten years would be the ultimate path to mastering my fears.

So, I will try to post here regularly, giving and recieving ideas and encouragement as we strive to overcome these patterns of fear in our lives...

Neebo · Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 10:51 pm Post subject:

Hi everyone I have also just joined the site because I suffer from Social phobia very badly which has completely taken over my life. I can't tell you what a relief it is to find that there are lots of other people who are going through the same problem I honestly thought I was the only one Smile

My SA/SP is so bad that I have no friends at all and I am virtually housebound and a recluse. So after plucking up some courage I thought it would be a good idea to join and talk to other people online who are going through the same problem Smile

hip_hop_froggy

I have socail anxiety which I thought started about when I was in middle school (I am 26 now). After reading what nightshade wrote about getting scared at night, makes me realize it started a lot sooner - I just never really thought about it before. I can't even tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep at night thinking I was the only one still awake and a burgular or kid napper might break in and my parents can't help me because they are sleeping. I was scared to wake them up because they might get mad at me. I am mostly over that now. I do still get a little scared when I am home alone, and very jumpy. I also have always (and still do) experience a lot of anxiety when someone gets home or comes over- I have to run and hide in my room until after they are in the house - even if it is only my mom.

Growing up I could always tell there was something different about me but I never knew what. I remember being told in high school that I would have friends if I just talked to people, but the fear and anxiety in me was too strong. I never really had any friends growing up, there were a couple of neighbor kids but we all drifted apart about elementary school.

I didn't know I had social anxiety until I was about 20-21 years old when I saw a commercial about it on tv. I then went on paxil and that made a tremendous difference, so my doc took me off it. Now over the last two weeks I have been experiencing anxiety worse than ever. I have been experiencing uncontrollable crying all week and havn't been in to work because of it. I don't think there is a single SA symptom that I have not experienced recently. I did go back on paxil yesterday.
A couple of weeks ago I was crying so hard I was literally hyperventilating because I called to make a doctors appointment, and the answering service politely asked me to call back when the receptionist gets there. I can't stand being so over sensitive.
I am 26 years old and still live with my mom because even the thought of living on my own - even with a room mate is just so terrefying to me.

I have made the decision that I will not allow social anxiety take over my life any more, and that is a part of why I am here. I am also here to relate with others, and maybe even make a new friend or two.

outside_looking_in · Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:16 pm Post subject:

Hiya everyone .... didn't want to do a big biography but I guess it's only polite! I'm not diagnosed as SP though my partner knows I'm a bit odd (he once found me hiding behind curtains at a party, anyone else done that? Shocked

) but when I found the forum all the things that have tortured me for years made sense.

Over-protective parents with issues, check; rarely allowed to see other kids, check; compensatory high achiever at school, check; fall apart at something like making a phone call or approaching a group (even if I know them all), check. First time it hit, i was 7, school concert, felt sick and burst into floods of tears at idea of standing singing (in choir, not solo!) in front of all these people. I was allowed to curl up on comfy chair at the side (though felt conspicuous there too!) Before long I was throwing up on everybody's birthday let alone mine, and opting out of socialising in or out of school. I was teased, probably mainly affectionately looking back at the copious diaries I kept, but it was torture at the time.

For me college was great for a while, new start, but found I couldn't sustain most friendships. Had a couple of very intense relationships, end of one left me depressed and obsessed for a couple of years. Got a job, moved 400 miles all alone, another new start but couldn't fit in at all til I met my partner (15 rocky years ago this year!). We now have two kids so that tends to warm your heart, keep you busy and make you smile, but my eldest said not long ago, "All the other mums know each other except you, don't they Mum?" (ow -- thought I was getting a bit better, or better at hiding it). But now whenever a situation screws me up I think 'it's ok, cos someone on the forum will have felt just like this at some time'. It's helping already, thankyou all Wink