B.D.D subject

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Yep I understand this one. I was bullied too and was told day in day out how ugly i was. When people tell you the same thing over and over you do tend to believe it. So, how do you know wether or not you are ugly?. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I know but I also know I'm not classicly pretty. How do you cope with looking in the mirror and not liking what you see?. I myself just walk away from it. I always tell people that if they don't like what they see then they shouldn't look. So, I also apply this to myself.

GettingThere · Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:31 am Post subject:

There was a hit song for an artist called Janis Ian in - I think - the '70's (I'm realllly showing my age here!) which was a painful look at her experiences of growing up in a world where she was not considered pretty.
Actually, when revisiting the words of this song again just now it rather saddens me a bit - it is not a happy song. Although a male I can relate to it to some extent.

The song is called "At Seventeen";

AT SEVENTEEN
(Janis Ian)

I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT SEVENTEEN
THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY QUEENS
AND HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WITH CLEAR SKINNED SMILES
WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN RETIRED
THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW
THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF YOUTH
WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL
AT SEVENTEEN I LEARNED THE TRUTH

AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED FACES
LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES
DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME
INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE
WHO CALLED TO SAY - COME DANCE WITH ME
AND MURMURED VAGUE OBSCENITIES
IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS AT SEVENTEEN

A BROWN EYED GIRL IN HAND ME DOWNS
WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD PRONOUNCE
SAID - PITY PLEASE THE ONES WHO SERVE
THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE
THE RICH RELATIONED HOMETOWN QUEEN
MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS
WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY
AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY

SO REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE GAME
LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT TO GAIN
IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY
THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL GAPE AT YOU
IN DULL SURPRISE WHEN PAYMENT DUE
EXCEEDS ACCOUNTS RECEIVED AT SEVENTEEN

(INSTRUMENTAL)

TO THOSE OF US WHO KNEW THE PAIN
OF VALENTINES THAT NEVER CAME
AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE NEVER CALLED
WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR BASKETBALL
IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY
THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN TODAY
WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE FOR FREE
TO UGLY DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE ME

WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN WE DARE
WE CHEAT OURSELVES AT SOLITAIRE
INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE
REPENTING OTHER LIVES UNKNOWN
THAT CALL AND SAY - COME ON, DANCE WITH ME
AND MURMUR VAGUE OBSCENITIES
AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT SEVENTEEN

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Two men look through the same bars, one sees mud the other sees stars.

Guest · Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:34 am Post subject:

hello! i went through school thinking i was the ugliest girl on the plannet, not sure how it started, i had a couple of coments from people in my year about my ears, i used to get called gizmo (dont laugh!) anyway i started to wear loads of make up and always wear my hair down, i started becoming so self conciouse i carried a small mirror around every were with me and was constantly checking, sometimes i would get so upset thinking i was a freak that i would pannic when anyone looked at me!
what made it all worse when i left school i had an awful time when i was severely bullied and was called all kinds of names anyway a few years on and things are alot better i dont worry about the way i look so much, i have a fiance, though it has left me with scars i am completely social phobic, my fiance has no idea, the hell im living in, constant worry about events we need to go to and friends we need to see, but hey i havnt got BDD anymore!

GettingThere · Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:03 am Post subject:

Thats great to see guest, I am pleased for you. I too have moved on to the point where I will joke about my looks at times when once I could never have done that. It is good to know that the passage of time can be a healing thing for us.

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Two men look through the same bars, one sees mud the other sees stars.

slacker · Newbie User Joined: Sep 20, 2005 Posts: 1

Hello everyone

A friend of mine has just set up a discussion forum for sufferers of BDD.Feel free to drop by and ask what you like.

http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=13050

thanks Smile

Sealed · Newbie User Joined: Jan 12, 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Sweden

My first post on this forum.. Here we go. Shocked

I've been suffering from SP quite a while, and it has always been the main issue for me. But it is not till recently I discovered that not all people with SP think they're so ugly that looking in a mirror hurts. My therapist says that BDD is very similar to SP, they overlap in certain areas. So, it's kinda hard to tell where the SP ends and the BDD begins. (He agreed that I definitely have some sort of BDD, though.) It seems that the two of them often appear together.
I'm probably not as affected by this as many others. Most of the time I hate my looks, but sometimes I can stand staring back in the mirror... I don't think of my appearance constantly, just a lot.

Chihiro · Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:01 pm Post subject: Re: B.D.D subject

SergesDad · Newbie User Joined: Jun 03, 2007 Posts: 6

SocialRetahd · Expert User Joined: Dec 02, 2006 Posts: 762

I am ugly, but I am working on it. Earlier today, I lost hope, but my dad told me about different surgeries that can correct my face a bit. It's funny how quickly my mood changes based on little things such as these.

AquariusOutkast · Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 6:49 pm Post subject:

Anyone recommend a good forum for BDD. Most forums I visited, have very little activity.

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"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in 2 bodies."