Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 5:56 pm Post subject: Am I A Recluse ?
hi all, i've read all the posts here & its kinda like me but a little different...
Before I had confidence, not alot, but I was doing ok. Going out every night & just enjoying life I suppose, worked a few nights a week & just smoked a few joints everynight & hanging out with my friends - Just liek normal people do.
I passed my driving test & crashed my car about 2 weeks after - I broke my foot & was in plaster.
I stayed in most of the time when I broke my foot, I did go out a few times in my friends car, but it was mostly raining all the time so I didnt get out much - I would just stay in just drinking, smoking & playing on the computer & watching tv.
Anyways that went on for about 6-7 weeks & I finally had my plaster off.
By this time I couldnt really be bothered to go out at all. I finally give up the joints & just drank instead. 6 months now & I still havent gone out much. I have a huge phobia of going out & meeting people again.
I have just cut myself off from reality. I just stay in day & night,
I dont know what to do, part of me says go out & be normal & the other just puts barriers up in my head - like why is everyone looking at me? ... is it the spots on my face, or is it the shape of me? - If I knew what everyone was looking at maybe I could accept it & carry on living a normal life. I dont want help by counciling, I would just like to help myself & some good advice. If anyone with the same problem would be able to help It would be greatly appreciated. Though what is this disease called?
Just the thought of seeing people & people seeing me makes me feel very uncomfortable. I even get nervous around my own family now. I just dont know what to do & I just cant see myself getting out of this.
Joined: Apr 06, 2004 Posts: 38 Location: Australia
Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 2:51 am Post subject:
Hi there,
Perhaps you are feeling a bit down after your injury and this latent side of yourself has manifested??
I don't think there are many true recluses - they are happy to be by themselves almost all the time, for their whole lives.... I used to think I preferred being alone to having company, but it is a deception!! SP makes company and social stuff really uncomfortable....most people will avoid ANYTHING that makes them uncomfortable. Doesn't mean we want to be alone like a recluse, just that the alternative is too hard....sort of a lose/lose situation, which is why depression is so common for us - deep down we desperately want to be social and all that goes with it, but only feel comfortable when we are alone ARRRHHH!!
What do you think I should do? .... I want to get back into my other life, but know it is going to be really hard now. I keep thinking negative thoughts about everything. When I am out I cant bear the thought of people looking at me & what they are thinking. I know this is not right & I heard a saying which what pretty good... "To all the people that talk about me, thank you for making me centre of your world". <<< I like that saying & I wish I could think like that, but I cant.
Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 4:09 pm Post subject: Boy do we have a lot in common......
Same situation that I am in. I have been mostly at home for about a year for different reasons and now have too many phobias and negative thoughts that I can't brace myself to leave my safe nest. I feel so depressed because I just feel I will be criticized and judged or whatnot by others... and I have been in my past, which is why it makes it all the more real. I need help, but I'm afraid to get it. Will be judged by a psych or anyone there...
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