Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 12:06 pm Post subject: Do you think that we think we're special?
This thought just came to me, and I'm wondering whether we, the people with social phobia, think that we're special or something. Because we keep feeling that everyone is staring at us, even though we think it's because we're weird, fat, ugly, etc., but the fact is that we still think everyone is looking at us. And in some distorted way, do you think that we feel we're special? Does anybody else think that?
Joined: May 09, 2005 Posts: 1409 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 12:38 pm Post subject:
How do you mean special?
Special as in different? Definitely.
Special as in better than most? In some aspects yes, like we make better listeners in general, or can empathise with other people's emotions better, but in other aspects we're not so hot. Depends on the individual.
Special as in feeling arrogant? Yeah, I feel that way sometimes although its not really healthy to feel superior is it?
Joined: Jul 13, 2005 Posts: 59 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 12:58 pm Post subject:
I think a lot of people don't particularly care what other people think, because they have a certain level of self-worth. I think that people with SP/SA don't have enough self-worth to not care about any negative experiences they have with other people, and take them "to heart". Recently I've cared less if people have been funny with me or don't react well to me. Not everybody has to like you or care about what happens to you, and you don't have to like everyone or care about what happens to them either.
Joined: Jul 13, 2005 Posts: 59 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:18 pm Post subject:
Marin wrote:
And Jack7, I don't agree with you that being socially phobic equals low self-worth. That's a really easy way to dismiss SA/SP people, or make it seem like it's their own fault ," Well you just need to have higher self-esteem." The reason other people don't seem to care as much what others think of them, is because they don't have social anxiety!
These days I don't care what people think of me, and I'm far less anxious than I used to be. I just realised that nobody has the right to judge me. I think that you're saying there's a physical cause for having low self-esteem, and that is social anxiety disorder. I prefer hope it's a mental problem rather than a physical problem, otherwise I'm going to be stuck having social anxiety for the rest of my life, which I don't want.
Joined: May 09, 2005 Posts: 1409 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:37 pm Post subject:
Digressing a bit but..
Quote:
I prefer hope it's a mental problem rather than a physical problem, otherwise I'm going to be stuck having social anxiety for the rest of my life, which I don't want.
I get what you're saying, that if this problem were purely physical some hotshot doctor would've found the cure. 'Pop and few pills everyday and you're fine' type solution would work in controling our fears. However since its a mental issue, I think what Jack is saying is that people can sort out the problem via therapy and mental training...is that right?
I agree somewhat, but whos to say a problem with the chemical messeges travelling around our brains isn't a physical one? I'm not sure where to draw the line.
Joined: Jul 02, 2005 Posts: 61 Location: United States of America
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:54 pm Post subject:
Jack7 wrote:
I think a lot of people don't particularly care what other people think, because they have a certain level of self-worth. I think that people with SP/SA don't have enough self-worth to not care about any negative experiences they have with other people, and take them "to heart". Recently I've cared less if people have been funny with me or don't react well to me. Not everybody has to like you or care about what happens to you, and you don't have to like everyone or care about what happens to them either.
Jack7,
You're actually quite right. There will always be people out here who either like us, love us or hate us no matter what we do. It's just that those of us with SA/SP are "more sensitive", you know. the reason being we want EVERYONE to like us and that's just not possible. Along those grounds I once read a quote something like this: "If every man knew what people were saying about him there would not be four friends in the world". that's gospel right there. SP/SA people are most likely more considerate of other's feelings b/c we want to make a good impression and because we're likey just all around good folks. nonetheless there will be what i refer to as "haters" out there, people who always try to break others down because deep down inside they too are walking around on shacky ground.
Well... I guess. I mean, I'm the only one, as far as I can tell, that has been housebound for this long. However, 'special' in this case means the biggest coward of all.
Let me put my question differently. We don't want the spotlight, but we think we're in the spotlight all the time, and we hate it. By thinking that we're constantly in the spotlight, do we somehow think that we're special?
(I hope this would be easier to understand.)
Joined: Sep 30, 2004 Posts: 758 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 5:22 pm Post subject:
Ok I think I understand. You want to know the reason why we think so much attention is upon ourselves and not other people right?
Well a few trolls in the past have thought we must be really arrogant to presume everyone is looking/thinking about us etc. I can understand how it might seem that way but it's not the reason for me. I do not think I am special, I just have a very acute sense of being an outsider, as though I don't belong. I feel as though the world is very much 'them and me'. So I guess that kind of filters through and I fear they may have the same feelings. That I am not one of them. It is more like I feel an invader in their nest if that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't lol. I know it's all crap but hey.
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